cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/1328094
Texas state Sen. Roland Gutierrez, since news outlets have a phobia of putting the damn name in the title
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like his stupid chin, I do not like his smarmy grin. I do not like him with a beard, I do not like him freshly sheared. I do not like Ted Cruz at all, that man Ted Cruz can suck my balls.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like him in the news. I do not like what he just said, I do not like his boxy head. I do not like him wearing glasses, I do not like him kissing asses. I wish he’d never get one vote, that man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his backward views. I do not like his stupid suits, I do not like his cowboy boots. I do not like him when he sneezes, I do not like him eating cheeses. I hate to see his dumb face smirking, because his beard looks like a merkin’.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like him in these reeds, I do not like him when he feeds. I do not like him by a wall, I do not like this shit at all. I do not like him as Santa’s elf, that man Ted Cruz can fuck himself.
I do not like that Ted Cruz man, I do not like him shouting klan. I do not like him in a room, I do not like him in Cancún. I do not like him playing ball, I do not like his face at all. I wish he’d lose his cushy job, that man Ted Cruz is a fucking knob.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his shitty views. I do not like him saying ass, I do not like him serving sass. I do not like him in a seat, I do not like him holding meat. I do not like him when he’s smooching, I do not like him with Mnuchin. I hate his stupid pronoun bits, that man Ted Cruz is full of shit.
I tip my hat off to you. that was awesome.
It was a recurring bit on John Oliver’s show. Should be turned into a book though.
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