Lemmy is the worst at this out of any site I have ever used. I’d never even consider recommending it to anyone I know because of that.
I mean this community is the best example of that: “oh Lemmy has a woman’s only community, that’s so nice and accommodating”
But then the community gets brigaded from people who are not women at any possible occasion, doubling and tripling down how they have the right to force everyone to read their useless opinion and do not have to read or understood the simplest rules in turn, it is insane! At least the mods here are absolute gems but wow is that exhausting.I preface talking about Lemmy by framing it as similar to 4chan and early Reddit.
In other words, full of salty, sexist men who think they’re superior for how they use computers.
it’s massive on Lemmy. any time you bring up an issue women have consistently faced in a patriarchal society, there’s people crawling out of the woodworks with the “not all men” bs.
it’s interesting, in my experience there’s enough knowledge of feminism on Lemmy for men to acknowledge that these things are issues, but most of those men don’t seem ready to accept that they can help implement actual change by calling out their friends and family. instead, it devolves to rhetoric that serves only to deepen the societal divide they claim to be against. definitely disappointing from a progressive and leftist platform.
.world seems to be especially bad, maybe because it’s so large. i blocked the entire instance ages ago since i get most all my content from more niche communities anyway. i reckon it’s made my experience more enjoyable overall.
Does that not block users as well? I’m a .world user so I assumed it would block me as well.
I swear its always someone from .world or in a .world community saying these types of disgusting things when I see it. Probably because things like .ml are already blocked for me so I cute a lot of it out, but im considering just blocking .world too. Theres a lot of interesting content there, but damn,the negativity is so prevalent and unmoderated
Misogyny on Lemmy is crazy. I honestly think its worse than reddit, I genuinely see it daily. Random meme communities will frequently have gross memes that if you think about for 1.8 seconds they are super misogynistic. Honestly it’s depressing.
It’s worse than Reddit. There’s less diversity on Lemmy and that allows for the misogyny to flourish.
Probably, yeah. Lemmy feels like a “boys club” in the way men act here, its really gross.
Honestly the first time I recognized your username was seeing you call it out in a random thread somewhere. Actually I think it was about violet too? I can’t remember.
Honestly the first time I recognized your username was seeing you call it out in a random thread somewhere. Actually I think it was about violet too? I can’t remember.
Probably, I’ve gone to bat for violet a few times now haha. The men here love to sexualize her, but HATE when she speaks about anything other than sex.
I didn’t initially join Lemmy to be the outspoken feminist, but I couldn’t help myself shrug
I’m convinced “violet” is a young boy in his early teens who gets off pretending to be a thirsty “woman” on the internet. Based solely on… Everything they’ve ever posted.
And I’m convinced she’s in the right community while you’re not.
Oh whoops. I just browse my home feed and comment on stuff. Didn’t realize what community I was commenting on. Carry on.
I’m convinced “violet” is a young boy in his early teens who gets off pretending to be a thirsty “woman” on the internet. Based solely on… Everything they’ve ever posted.
Could you go be convinced of that literally anywhere else and fuck off?
I didn’t realize I’d wandered into the angry lioness’ den. My bad. I’ve used Lemmy via Voyager since its inception and there’s really no obvious clue what community you’re in unless you really look for it. The vitriol towards all men is a strong clue though, going forward. Community blocked. Sorry, ladies. And “violet” 🙄
Women are horny as well. I wasn’t so sure on violet initially, but I’m actually quite positive they’re a woman at this point.
Have you checked the rules for this community?
!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world is getting pretty bad which is a shame because I shitpost there regularly :(
I had to block that community and I don’t block anything usually.
The mods allowed users to discuss how “naturally consensual” 14 year old girls are and the conversation was highly upvoted.
It was the most blatant pedophilic conversation I had seen to date here and no one did anything about it.
That’s a com well worth blocking. The problem i run into now is the people who crosspost those posts to coms I enjoy aren’t always people I want to block. But, maybe I should for my own sanity lol
I hear ya! I don’t block individuals because I do like pushing back here and there, but blocking that comm has been a great decision.
The one that I always remember being really bad is one of the comic ones. I feel like it is like twice a day that a “haha women bad!” comic gets posted.
Honestly, every other comment in that thread threw away their humanity to get one in on the rich girl with an ED. The excuse could be made that it was in a shitpost community but it’s clear the post wasn’t calling for ridicule. I’m really disappointed.
The rest of this comment is just ranting. Skip if you want.
How very cute, a pun about “Grande” meaning large while she’s withering in front of us from not eating. How brave, calling her scum for being rich and having an ED. Why yes, anorexia does make one look like a skeleton. Why yes, this is an appropriate time to exacerbate her fans and accuse her of stolen valor about her skin color. (/s)
I’m so tired. I grew up learning all about EDs in school and I feel like no one else was paying attention or we collectively forgot just how many friends killed themselves that way. This was a part of the 90’s and 00’s celebrity culture that I was hoping died there. I hope Ariana gets actual help before it kills her or hurts those impressionable enough to copy her. And I don’t even fucking like her.
I just wish anyone in her life would help her see she needs help, before it is too late. I’m not a fan, but I’m capable of feeling for her and what she must be going through for her ED to become so serious. She’s always struggled with it, but the last few years seem like they have been harder for her
Supposedly she’s taking a break
“She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny,” the rep explains
Her reps are still framing this ED as “healthy” though.
On that “joke”, I saw someone on Mastodon “joke” that she’s now Ariane Venti.
But no, there’s no misogyny in the Fediverse.
🙄
I was tempted to make a similar post. The other day there was a thread where guys where saying that it’s okay to look up a woman’s skirt when she goes up stairs, because “if she’s wearing a skirt, that implies consent.” Then when I replied saying that’s “rapist thinking,” people came in (probably deliberately) misinterpreting it as if I was calling OP a rapist. No, saying something someone wears is “giving consent” is literally how rapists think.
It immediately reminded me of all the guys that come on here and go, “I don’t see misogyny on Lemmy.” Meanwhile I got downvoted and I had to go back to edit my comment to make my point crystal clear. Even the more sane replies try to make it the woman’s problem to solve, like the guy saying we should kick a guy who’s staring up our skirts. As if we’d even be aware of it when they’re walking behind us?
Needless to say, it’s got me second-guessing wearing a skirt now. Goodness forbid I need to go up a flight of stairs while some dingdong like these guys happens to be behind me.
Holy shit. How can anyone make that argument without feeling disgusting? Sounds like I make the right choice to rediscover Tumblr and mostly leave Lemmy
Yeah, that thread about looking up people’s skirts was just insanely disgusting, it made me ashamed to share a social network with those people. The Grande one was quite bad as well. It’s making me rethink Lemmy usage, maybe I should just quit social media altogether.
The number of upvotes some of those replies got… Yeah, there’s definitely no misogyny on Lemmy! /s
Naomi Wu (RealSexyCyborg over on the Nazi Bar Site before she got silenced) came up with a “downskirt camera” that took pictures of men taking upskirt photos, the idea being that women could wear one of those and start posting the pervs on social media for their loved ones to be disappointed in.
Thanks for linking to the comments. I’ve got that user tagged now for future reference lol
It’s nice to know I can dismiss their comments immediately.
Recently had a man complain about the topics I post about. That by reposting stories about violence against women, I’m actually attacking men because while the news stories are true, I shouldn’t be highlighting them at the frequency I do. It makes men overall look like predators.
Women are always the problem for speaking up about problematic men while the men are always worth defending no matter what.
Hell, we have community members actively try to quiet other women in here for asking men to respect the rules.
Oh I love when people chastise me for my content on a platform where anyone can post whatever they want. Thankfully, if they want to see more pro-men content, they can look in literally any comment section outside of this community.
By the way, are we talking about yesterday? That was a real special conversation. Like misogynist trolls need any more fucking allies.
I am indeed talking about yesterday. I notice when people are quick to silence women speaking up but never say anything to the men breaking the rules. There have been times I’ve been told the bickering in this comm is not pleasant, but the alternative is allowing men to force their sexist opinions in here with no one speaking out against it to show it’s not ok.
Silence is complicity imo.
9/10 posts here are the most pleasant conversations I’ve seen on this platform.
I appreciate the backup when they’re not.
People who choose their battles still have my respect, not everyone has the energy for negative interactions. I don’t mind silence as much as picking the wrong side.
Actually yeah, I’m all for people choosing their battles and that line in my comment is rigid. Silence in the face of the offense while trying to silence others is more about complicity than just silence.
I honestly realized how bad it was lately. Is it getting worse? It seems like there are some genuinely wonderful people here but there are certain threads that make you go “wtf”?
Did anyone else here, hear about rednote when the tiktok exodus happened? There’s no misogyny there, it’s not tolerated, it’s fucking fantastic.
I love my time on rednote, only social media that doesn’t cause me infinite despair
小红书 truly is a special place. Only corporate social media I actually enjoy rather than endure.
It’s constant in lemmy and it’s scary. Misogyny is everywhere but parts of lemmy are cesspits for it. And unsurprisingly there’s been several manosphere sorts in this thread.
Fashion? No interest. Gardening? No interest. Feminism? RABID COMMENTING
I don’t encounter it much but that’s probably bc Blåhaj has a good block list. I harden it a bit with my own custom blocks, though, using keywords.
This, it’s kinda incredible to learn about this given my fedi experience. But you’re probably right that it’s just a good blocklist so I don’t see it
The worst part is that if you look hard enough, misogyny is literally everywhere, in forms a lot of people don’t ever perceive at the time.
Living in a patriarchy will do that.
I don’t use the fediverse much, but happened to stumble over that post. As someone with an eating disorder I wanted to comment, but when I saw the other comments I was unfortunately reminded why I don’t use this place much.
Misogyny is rife on Lemmy.
Post about feminism or women’s issues in LW communities and you see so many misogynists crawl out of the septic tank to have their say.
I think it’s getting worse, but even my first post on Beehaw after the API exodus was followed by a big list of how I was doing everything wrong because I’m a woman.
That put me off Lemmy for a long time
So many on the Fediverse have this adverse reaction to defederation, but I think we’re reaching the point where instances need to start being more selective and cutting off those who don’t take serious effort to curb this behaviour in their userbase.
I would 100% vote for the flotilla defederating LW
Misogyny is rife in the world.
I’ll never forget how many men here were (and still are) butthurt about the man vs bear thing, writing 5000-word essays on how judgmental and stupid women are for choosing the bear.
Or when the Tea app (the app where women could anonymously discuss about men they dated so they could warn others if there’s any danger/red flag) was breached and the women in there was doxxed, the general sentiment here was “they deserved it bc they shittalk about men.” This one was particularly funny bc usually Lemmy’s all about privacy and security, except when the bad, bad women are the victims I guess!
Or how one day ago, there was a post about why women gave out fake numbers and many of the comments agreeing, but some men still came in to say that the post was “rage bait.”
And if we point it out, we “are sexists” and “make feminism look bad” ☺️ Fun!
I choose the bear because I like bears.
Bears are predictable. Men are not. The “men” are more than likely offended that someone would choose risking it with a bear than a random man (them).
The “men” are more than likely offended that someone would choose risking it with a bear than a random man (them).
And instead of being inquisitive or empathetic about WHY women would choose a bear over a man, they blame women for being scared of men.
The correct answer is, of course, bear.
For starters, bears are cute. Even the monsters like the Kodiaks.
LW? Is that lemmy.world?
My finger frequently finds itself hovering over the “block entire instance” button for that site, and a few others.
Oh where is that button? I think I want to experience my online bubble without .world. There’s enough to keep me busy in the real world and I’m curious how it would change my lemmy experience. The last influx of reddit refugees has made lemmy a bit too reddity I think.
I use the default lemmy-ui on desktop so this won’t help if you use an app or something.
Click your display name in the top right, select settings, select the “Blocks” tab, scroll down to “Block instance” and type lemmy.world in the box, and then watch your lemmy experience improve tenfold.
Thanks, experiment ‘block world’ initiated!
You’re welcome.
I hope it improves things for you.
Yes LW is Lemmy.world
I’ve had them silenced for a few months now, haven’t missed much tbh.
It can be a meh instance sometimes, but I’m yet to find another offering an old.reddit style UI.
I don’t use reddit so I’ve never had an attachment to any generation of its UI. I just look at the kinds of people (including the manchild that just popped in here to brag about how he was about to get instabanned) on that instance and start doing some statistical calculus and … the finger hovers.
God, a lot of comments in that post are disgusting. “She’s still attractive to me.” “I can’t fantasize about cuddling with her anymore without thinking about bumping into her bones.”
This stuff is why I don’t comment much on Lemmy.
This stuff is why I don’t comment much on Lemmy.
Same. I used to post more, under previous accounts, calling out sexism and misogyny on Lemmy when I saw it. But when my simple, respectful posts calling out toxic behavior got more downvotes than upvotes, I decided it wasn’t worth my time to try and change the collective thinking on Lemmy.
I can’t find the post. (Lemmy search is … vestigial.)
Not sure if I’m allowed to link it (might be considered brigading?), but you can find it in OP’s post history!
🤦♀️ I’m an idiot.
