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Cake day: December 24th, 2023

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  • At the risk of receiving the ire of Lemmy, there are some notable exceptions to this. I can’t speak for all disabilities, but for bipolar disorder, there are a LOT of non-pharmecutical things I have done that makes my life so much better. For me, the #1 best thing I can do is exercise. It sucks because that is the most intensive thing to do, but once I started running a 5k a day, and then cooled down a bit due to my poor knees (now I got into rock climbing), I have been listed as “Bipolar-in remission” by my doctors. This isn’t just anecdotal, there is plenty of research on this subject that shows the link between exercise and mental health.

    I would also consider “taking my meds” as under the “healthy living my way out of disability”, but just taking them isn’t enough.

    I of course will extend the caveat that I am physically abled to do these exercises, and there are bipolar folks who are unable to make this happen, but if I’m offered a tool to help make my life better, I’m going to use it.

    Also to extend deeper into the ire, when people with bipolar disorder choose not to take their diagnosis seriously and refuse treatment, not only can it be harmful to those around them, but also to those of us who are trying to shirk the stereotype of “unstable and dangerous manic depressive”. When Kanye was manic and went off on his neo Nazi rants, many people said “well, he’s bipolar so it’s not really his fault”. He wasn’t taking meds, and he was ignoring his health leading into it.

    Personally, that exoneration is upsetting because so many of us are putting in the effort to live healthy stable lives and accept responsibility for our actions, even when manic. Being manic is an explanation for terrible behavior, but it isn’t an excuse. When we believe that bipolar people can’t help but be awful, people will hear about my diagnosis and believe that I will be awful and I can’t help it. It’s dehumanizing.

    One more note on this post- it seems to lend itself to hopelessness. Of course it was talking about chronic illness as a whole, and of course chronic illness isn’t a monolith, but having the thought of “there’s nothing that can be done” isn’t something I’m willing to accept, at least for myself. To quote Emily Dickinson, Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and it sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. Every day I hope that tomorrow will be better than today, but I know hope is merely enough. I need to do the work. Sometimes I don’t hear the tune, but it’s always there waiting should I lend an ear.

    I think what the post does very well in it’s most core point is address the stigma that abled people have towards the disabled. I’d say the imperative word in the post is “just”. You can’t just healthy living your way out of chronic illness. For some, healthy living has a huge benefit, but for me to get to where I am wasn’t easy, in fact it asks for effort every day, and I know to be in my current mental space takes a lot more effort than it does for others.

    From BoJack Horseman: it gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier, But you gotta to do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.

    TL;DR I live with Bipolar disorder and I have found healthy living has saved my life, and while many can’t do what I do, letting people off the hook for not taking care of themselves with a dangerous illness creates the stereotypes that negatively impacts people who manage their bipolar disorder.

    Edit just to cover my basses, when talking about folks that choose not to address their bipolar disorder/ not exclusing manic episodes, I’m addressing those with a diagnosis and have the means to access medications and help and then actively choose not to. I’m more willing to cut some slack for someone who had a bad prescription and are still finding what works for them, or folks who don’t have access to medical care (which is an abomination that medicine isn’t universally accessible).


  • I looked it up and a block in Chicago (where I live) is between 100 to 600 meters.

    Chicago and New York have similar walkability, at least in my experience.

    Nearest Grocery Store is 1.2 km (0.8miles) away from me, I usually take my bike to go shopping

    Nearest park is like… 50 feet from me (15meters) but I happen to live right next to a park.

    Nearest cornerstore is 300 meters

    Nearest train station is 600 meters

    Nearest library is 800 meters

    To add some more,

    Nearest bar is 400 meters away

    I’m a musician, within 1km of me there are 4 open mics I can go to

    Nearest theater is the Music Box which is 1.2 km away

    Nearest baseball stadium is 1 km away

    God I love Chicago



  • Absolutely! When a student finds the joy of music, they have become a musician.

    I also look for what the student does well- what kind of musician are they? Some a great at reading sheet music, some are great at improvising, some are story tellers that see a song as a vehicle for their craft. Imo, it’s best to treat the student as a genius. As Viktor Frankl said, “If we overestimate [our student], we can promote them to who they can be […] If we take [our student] as they are, we make them worse, but if we take them as who they should be, we make them who they can be”



  • So I dealt with this a shit ton in my 20s, and have only recently found an effective way to reframe my mindset.

    First, my friend introduced me to parts theory. It’s a practice that’s underscored by “nonessentialism” for my philosophy friends here (i.e. there is no single you, you are made up of many, many identities that come together). The exercise I would recommend you do is to name the different parts of you. Hell, to make it fun, pretend they are tarot cards or something. For instance my negative feelings came from a part of me I now call “the sleezy politician” who manipulates people into doing what he wants. I also took note of the origin story of this character- I had very unstable family dynamics that had a lot of backroom conversations, and also I had a traumatic friend group explosion in highschool that taught me I need to control others through charm to survive.

    I also have “the musician”, “the teacher”, “the council”, “the romantic”, “the child”… I listed 34 and I could probably keep going. Recognize each one of these people is trying to take control of the wheel of your life, and you can choose who you give it too.

    I also just listened to Kevin Hines on the Man Enough Podcast . The man enough podcast is a podcast that deals with men’s issues through a feminist lense- I see it as the antidote to the manosphere. That said, I don’t think you need to be a dude to take something from this. TW: it has a lot to do with suicide, but it is very uplifting when it comes to self love. The exercise I took away from it is to note the thoughts repeating in my head of who I tell myself I am, and then say the opposite. I am responsible. I am kind. I am genuine. I am honest. I am enough.

    Finally I had a thought yesterday- I need to love myself before I love others. If I’m not comfortable in my own skin, how can I be comfortable with someone else? My friend who just got married said he knew she was the one when “the relaxed feeling I have when I’m alone at home is the same when I’m with her at home. I feel at home.” That’s when I realized I need to be at home with myself.

    But don’t just love yourself- have a crush on yourself. Idk about you, but when I’m absolutely crushing on someone I’m seeing, I become like a bird of paradise. I keep my place clean. I exercise. I eat right. I take them out to dance and see the world. I do everything I can to be my best self for this person. So why not do that for me?

    I hope some of this can help friend. You aren’t just wanted here, you are needed here, and for a reason.





  • The amount of times people have called my trumpet a saxophone, or my trombone a saxophone, or my clarinet a saxophone, or my melodica a saxophone, or my saxophone a saxophone apauls me.

    Never call someone a saxophone; not only is it rude, it’s a slur and against the law.


  • Basically, but the next step is to forgive and love that part as well. That part of you developed for a reason. If you can name what that part of you is, you might be able to look back to a time where that part of you was what was helping you. Now that you are living a different life, the game is to tell that part to step to the side and let another part of you take the wheel.

    At least that’s what a gleaned from my conversation last night.


  • If it helps anyone in a similar situation, after a shroom trip two weeks ago, I realized my issue is a deeeeeep seated shame- my “Mr. Ethics” vibe is a facade and if you cross examined me long enough you would find out I’m rotten to the core.

    I know this is false, but it’s so engrained it’s hard to shake.

    In relationships, I’ll feel very anxious because I feel like “the jig is gonna be up soon, they’ll see you for who you are, you will hurt them” so I’ll usually drop and run.

    4 hours later

    Also I started this comment a few hours ago, but since have chatted with my friend over beers and he told me about “parts therapy”. Basically acknowledge there are many parts to you, there is no single you. There is the “superhero” you, the “deviant” you, the “artist”, the “lover”, etc. So in trying to identify this core I believe is rotten, I came up with “the sleezy politician”. I feel like I can manipulate people like hell- I can put on the charm to get what I want or to avoid risk. I can think of times when this version of me was necessary as a survival mechanism. Highschool was clique-city, and the theater department was a social minefield. My family had a heavy political side. Growing up I felt like I had a superpower to lie and get away with anything, it took me a while to realize it wasn’t a superpower but would hurt me so much more later. All that I learned through that is something I now need to undo, and that is to be comfortable with myself and not care about how others see me.

    Ooof sorry I kinda word vomited but thanks for being my prep for tomorrow’s therapy sesh.




  • meep_launcher@lemm.eetoScience Memes@mander.xyzBurning Up
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    19 days ago

    So I had to look up the Boltzmann constant and… That’s a lot of math.

    I think you have a point on the decreasing human temperature. It looks like the decrease is at 0.05°F every decade, which actually is quite a bit. If it was something like 0.005°F, I’d say that that’s a problem for the people of the year 2500 to solve.

    That said, the reason it’s been decreasing seems to be due to medical advances and not some change in the Earth’s gravity or climate change. I would be surprised to see humans in the year 2500 having an average body temperature of 72.9°F, or closing in on 0°F in the year 3,984. I imagine there will be fluctuations, but there’s got to be a lower limit to what is physically possible.

    I’d still defend the Celsius number, since even though there are changes due to air pressure, it’s changing over space and not time. In the year 2500, water at sea level will still freeze at 0°C.

    I think my big thing is I’m less concerned about a logically consistent scale, and more towards a scale that’s geared to the emotional side of temperature.

    Thinking outloud moment

    If we are going for the emotional side of temperature specifically, we would also need to factor in wind, humidity, sunlight, what season it is, etc. and that’s a lot of variables, and even then that’s how you get the wind-chill factor. But even that is almost completely subjective. I feel like that scale would go from “IT’S GOTTA BE NEGATIVE A MILLION FUCKIN’ DEGREES” to “I FEEL LIKE IM ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN, so like a bazillion degrees” and then we go to the traffic report.

    Either way, it’s not a perfect scale, but I’d still take that over the other two.


  • meep_launcher@lemm.eetoScience Memes@mander.xyzBurning Up
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    19 days ago

    I present the temperature scale that I made up- the Human Scale (H°)

    I thought about the Fahrenheit vs Celsius debate, and I think both have practical uses, however I think combined they could make a very practical scale.

    Fahrenheit: while my American sensibilities agree that 100° is a good marker for what % of my patience is used up to cut a bitch, I think a similar place would be the average human body temperature. For this reason, 100°H = 98.6°F . It’s not a perfect match, but it can still give us the satisfaction of “IT’S 100°!?” while having practical implications for medical uses “your body temperature is 102°, 2° warmer than average”.

    Celsius: I think this scale makes a ton of sense for colder temperatures. When the thermometer reads 0°, that’s when you can expect snow. For this reason, 0°H = 0°C.

    The conversation rates are:

    H = (F-32) × 1.5

    H= C × 2.7

    More precise is

    H = (F-32) × 1.501501501…

    H = C × 2.7027027027…

    While using the freezing point of water and the average human body temperature seem like inconsistent and arbitrary benchmarks, my goal is less about consistency and more about practicality for everyday use.

    Now watch this scale grow as big as Esperanto.


  • So my personal take on shopping cart theory is that it assumes putting away shopping carts is not a fun job.

    I have worked at whole foods for 2 years, and the thing I hated the most was how it felt like Bezos’s watchful eye was always on you. The supervisors could be super persnickety about your breaks. Compared to my new life as a self employed musician, it was like prison, but that’s retail for ya.

    I personally loved cart duty. It was a time when I could go outside, get some fresh air, and not be under the surveillance of that god awful company*.

    So now if it is a nice day out, I will go out of my way to put the cart in left field. I call it a chaotic good move.

    That said the “it keeps jobs” is BS. If cart duty wasn’t a thing, the person would still be filling baskets and cleaning windows.

    *Note: the Halstead location in Chicago was actually really great. Maybe it was the Stockholm syndrome of working retail during pandemic, maybe it was Midwestern kindness, but that team actually seemed to care about each other’s wellbeing and we’d even hang out. I lean towards Midwestern kindness though, I moved here from Seattle and while I miss the mountains, I CERTAINLY do not miss the social scene. Despite what the news tries to tell you, Chicago takes care of its own. Even when I was a stranger in a strange land, and then homeless during polar vortex, the people took me in. Every. Night.

    Not sure if I’d visit, but I’d definitely live here.

    Sorry for the Chicago tangent, I’m a few handshakes deep and I get emotional about this fuckin’ place.


  • meep_launcher@lemm.eeto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneAngel of [Rule]
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    21 days ago

    It’s one of those quirks of the human brain where we can make faces from almost anything. In a more romantic view, we are always looking for connection, so we always look for faces. It might even be that we use this as a survival method. Just like when you take time to shelter yourself under a bush to hide. It was late October, the leaves on the ground created a great cushion to keep yourself safe. You had been running and hiding for the last 30 hours, but now you needed sleep. It was a risk that you calculated. You could try to keep going, but delusion is what took Sam. You make the most discreet of breathing holes, and you bunk in for then night. You try to sleep, but you only can think of the shrieking Sam made as he was torn apart by those wolves. You tried your best, at least you try to convince yourself that. Why couldn’t you save your friend while you yourself held that spear? You who only fended the beasts off after they had done away with Sam? Is it true that maybe you have become the monster that you were running from?

    But your thoughts are interrupted.

    You hear the clopping of hooves. He was able to track you this far. You thought you just had to worry about the elements, but you forgot about the element of surprise. You hold your breath, trying to not make a sound. Soon you hear his horse trot away. Safe, for now. But you knew this was way too close of a call. You had to keep creating distance, if you can find the shore, you can find your boat. If you find your boat you are home free.

    You decide to make a break for it. You jump and hop through the brush, trying to keep your bearings, but then you feel a snag.

    The trap was released.

    You didn’t have time to react. You were immediately flung upwards, and now you find yourself upside down. Already so tired, you don’t think you can fight this one, but you keep trying to free yourself. Even then, you freeze when you hear the footsteps.

    There he was.

    The man you wished to never see again. The one you swore vengeance on. The one who now stares up at you with a maddening glee. He still is splattered with the blood of Sam, and now he looks at you and sees his next victim. “Not like this” you think “not because of him”. But it is. It always was. I always has been him. He is

    Shia LaBeouf

    But honestly I think it’s a great thing we keep looking for connection in the universe around us.