• 0 Posts
  • 33 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
cake
Cake day: March 19th, 2025

help-circle

  • Those I know who are into Eurovision are boycotting it while Israel is allowed to attend. So among the political viewers the anti-israel vote has mostly self-purged (and the remaining non-boycotters anti-israel votes are split amongst the other 30-or-so entries), while the pro-israel political vote still remains in the competition.

    It’s much easier to vote for one country to win (like with Ukraine, or Israel I suppose) than it is to vote so that only one doesn’t win (because the votes will be split with no clear opponent).

    But I’m just guessing, I’m not ajour with Eurovision politics.


  • I visualized “try” as watching a young child climb something that might be out of their comfort zone, so you’re letting them, but stay ready to “catch” them if something goes wrong. I suppose “throw” would be if they soiled themselves in their fall, you can throw them back into the arms of their loving parent for cleaning.

    But fuck_around, find_out and yeet would be fantastic.



  • I want to see my planted apple tree bear fruit for the first time (it’s looking good this year so far!), and then I want to try splicing in a branch of my neighbours cherry tree, and then I want to keep building gradually to have a mutant tree with all kinds of fruit throughout the season. I’ll be the creator of my own Tree of Life.

    Small goals, small joys, small triumphs - it’s what’ll make my life grand, I believe.





  • The real horror is that the person panics when they can’t find their phone. They are just chilling at home, they know the phone is somewhere in the home, they don’t need it right now and they don’t have to leave anywhere.

    The phone will turn up. It’s just a gadget, you won’t miss it if it’s gone for an hour or so.

    (I may be jaded from misplacing stuff so frequently)




  • It’s crazy. My short stint working in child care I would always call the male parent first if I had their contacts, but it seems deeply ingrained in people to consider a mother “parent” and father “helper”.

    Maybe they’d be more comfortable calling you if you called them every day “just to check up, to see how the kid is doing”, making it abundantly (and annoyingly) clear that you have nothing but time for your kid. And encourage your wife to respond “Have you called the primary contact?” whenever someone calls her.

    I only have my own phone calendar, no shared alternatives unfortunately, but there is a multitude of options when you search for “family calendars”. Or create a personal calendar for your child with both of you having the password and colour code it for who is responsible for each entry.




  • Hmm. Probably no one.

    Small amounts are weird to need “no questions asked” and large amounts are too large to give away “no questions asked”. Partly for me financially, but mostly because there is a not insignificant risk of overdose if you give out large sums of money to someone being cagey about why they need it.

    If they can’t tell me what a significant amount of money is for, it’s probably because it’s something I don’t want my money to go to, so I’m not inclined to agree under those premises.

    At the least I would need a very good reason for why I can’t ask questions (“I’m preparing to vacation as a fugitive, and don’t want you to have to testify”), but by then there is no longer no questions asked…


  • Talk through how you want to deal with this in your family, but here are some suggestions:

    Give daycare, pediatrics, classmates parents, and family and friends your contact info and instruct them to call you first hand for appointments, meetings or emergencies. Don’t ignore calls from babysitters, daycare or medical staff regardless of how important your current meeting is. You’re the primary contact.

    A lot of them will still probably call your wife first no matter how hard you enforce this, so enforcing this will split the burden and responsibility.

    Make sure you know your child’s SSN, birthday, allergies, sizes, current number of socks, favourite toys, and teachers and friends. Dress them for the weather they will be in throughout the day, and always pack extra because they will get wet or dirty or lose stuff.

    Keep a family calendar where you can see appointments, and make sure to take a majority of those appointments if possible (plenty of responsibility will be pushed onto your wife regardless).

    Add playmates and family members birthdays and other events to the calendar, and go shopping for gifts at least a few weeks before, without being prompted by anything other than the calendar. Wrap the gifts yourself or pay for wrapping at the store.

    Let your wife know (or maybe add a checkbox to the calendar and check it off when the preparations are done) that it’s taken care of if it’s a shared task, but don’t bother her with it if it’s your specific job - that’s your responsibility and nothing she needs to keep in mind at all.

    Keep count of diapers and socks and formula etc, and buy new (in the right size) without being prompted. You don’t need instructions for every little thing regarding your own child, you can take responsibility without being given it.



  • It depends on if the subject of the sentence (the person) is doing the thing (being active) or having the thing done to them (being passive). Think like this:

    A helper (help-ER) is someone who is helping/doing the help. A caller (call-ER) is calling someone else. A botherer (bother-ER) is someone who is doing the bothering.

    Someone who is recieving bother is being bothered (bother-ED), one who is getting help is being helped (help-ED), or getting calls is being called (call-ED).

    God-botherer is someone who is god-bothering (bothering god). God-bothered is someone being bothered by god.