• jerkface@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    There’s no benefit to being passive aggressive about it. Just be honest, direct, and tell them, “I don’t care.”

  • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Your friends are sharing your struggles with you? Sounds like a great time to mock them for… Checks notes “caring about you” and “offering solutions that are both available and have scientific evidence suggesting they actually help”.

    This isn’t funny it’s just being a dick.

    • GetOffMyLan@programming.dev
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      3 days ago

      When people tell you depression is just in your head and to just be happy it is the most fucking infuriating thing.

      That’s not caring about you. That’s downplaying your illness in a completely heartless and stupid way.

          • portuga@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            And I can tell by experience that good nutrition, hydration, sleep, exercise are paramount in getting over it. Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury, so mocking or downplaying them is not helpful, quite the opposite

      • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Except that these are real, clinically-proven treatments for depression.

        https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495

        https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature

        https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/british-journal-of-nutrition/article/effects-of-hydration-status-on-cognitive-performance-and-mood/1210B6BE585E03C71A299C52B51B22F7

        This isn’t saying “it’s just in your head”. This isn’t claiming taking a walk will cure you. But this is suggesting clinically-proven treatments that may ease symptoms.

        Are there toxic people out there who think mental disorders are not real? Sure. But jumping to the conclusion that the people trying to offer solutions are downplaying your illness and being “heartless” and “stupid” is a fairly significant jump to make from just “hey maybe you should try these clinically-proven treatments”.

        • namarupa@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Yeah I came to say this. Tried to kill myself as a teenager. Nothing helped my mental health more than getting my act together. Diet, sleep, exercise, and less toxic media. there is no hard line between mental health and physical self. Your whole being is in constant conversation.

        • GetOffMyLan@programming.dev
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          2 days ago

          In the quote we’re discussing he specifically mentions people telling him to just not be depressed. Which is absolutely not useful advice. And something I hear all the time.

          “Just be happy” is not useful or caring advice.

        • IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I just want to point out that even you qualify these benefits.

          It MAY ease symptoms. Or it may not. It may EASE symptoms, but it won’t get rid of them entirely. It may ease SYMPTOMS, but it’s not a cure.

          They’re like on the first page of results of anyone who has depression when they look up how to break out of it, so there’s an incredibly high likelihood you’re not the first person to discover hydration and exercise. They also don’t work for everyone, so it can be especially disheartening to hear the same advice over and over when it hasn’t worked for you in the past. It starts feeling like no one listens before they give the same ‘hydration and exercise’ mantra.

          • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Yes because I don’t expect every friend of mine to be a licensed psychiatrist capable of diagnosing and prescribing medication. Heck, even a lot of medications use that exact same qualified language in their advertising because the human body and mind are incredibly complicated and inconsistent things.

            It’s like when I get a cold and my mom tells me to keep my fluids up. It helps and shows she cares even if it’s nowhere near as good as antibiotics. And yes of course I already know to stay hydrated. Just like I know how the weather has been and I remember the story she tells me 4 times a year of that time my older sister broke the neighbor’s window with a basketball.

            Lashing out in anger at those trying to reach out and help you isn’t going to make you feel better even if their advice isn’t perfect.

        • orcrist@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          Are you suggesting that when friends are giving armchair mental health advice that they actually went out and thoroughly researched your situation, somehow without you ever realizing it, as well as did a review of recent medical literature on possible solutions?

          That would be quite amazing, but some people have amazing friends. Unfortunately, others might not be so lucky.

          • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Oh yeah my bad it’s wasaay better for your friends to just say “wow sounds like you’re doomed to be broken, good luck with that”.

            This is just a mentally unwell person lashing out at those around them trying to help. Jokes and memes like this are more harmful than helpful.

            • namarupa@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              Yeah, what the hell do these people want? What would be an acceptable response?

              They don’t want to be better. They want validation that their mental health is not the result of their own actions.

          • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            No one said that came first or that those other things didn’t happen. You’re just trying to move goalposts on an internet argument now lol.

      • bizarroland@fedia.io
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        3 days ago

        I kind of disagree with that being not caring about you. It’s kind of more like they are helpless to help you, but they still want you to be better because they want you to be happy.

        So, a lot of people default to giving useless advice. It is still an expression of care and love and support, just an ineffective one that is insulting and annoying to someone who’s currently going through it.

        I would much rather have somebody whom I’ve known for years tell me to try doing things that improve their mental health than to have nobody or for everyone to just look the other way while I am suffering.

        • GetOffMyLan@programming.dev
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          3 days ago

          It can definitely come from a positive place. I understand that. But it’s massively insulting to assume they can just get over it and are choosing not to.

      • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        When people tell you depression is just in your head and to just be happy

        Well, OBJECTIVELY, depression is just in your head 😁

        • Dasus@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          It’s not though.

          Very simply put depression causes inflammation in your body which in turn feeds back to the poor state of your neurotransmitters. Not to even talk about the lack of nutrients your body suffers from and what effects those have, because being depressed affects your appetite, which is determined by hormones.

          If I would put you in a prison cell and feed you piss poor food without proper vitamins and whatnot, you would get depressed. Even if you had all the best coping mechanisms and enjoyed meditating 18 hours a day while exercising, it wouldn’t take more than a month or two for the simple lack of nutrients to start fucking up your nervous system. You wouldn’t be able to exercise or sleep properly and would definitely get depression.

          So kindly stop it with that bs