I don’t take meds for anxiety and chiefly because the ones that aren’t controlled substances just do not work. I don’t cope well so I am the last person to have any advice. I try meditation but even that only gives me momentary relaxation. The root of the problem is honestly capitalism and the difficulty of living in a society where there is no safety net where most of us are one or two paychecks from being on the street. For people like myself that already suffer from mental illness, the present situation only makes things that much worse.

To calm my mind I work to reduce:

• unwanted inputs
• broadcast media
• advertising
• bad faith arguing (and the unfortunate corresponding output of me arguing back, feeling angry & hopeless)
• time and energy spent harming my own wellbeing (I chose a path of financial instability for mental health; my prior jobs made me & the world worse)

& to increase:

• silence
• walking
• nature appreciation
• reading
• creativity
• meditation

Meditation is something I have felt for years I should do, but didn’t. Just last week I started a new daily practice. I had difficulty with apps and podcasts and YouTube videos because of the capitalist need for $urvival. When the path to inner peace features billboards I tend to lose focus. So I started doing it myself. I’m recording the sessions and will share them to encourage others who may be like me. I intend to show that maybe it’s not so difficult and foreign to pause and breathe and talk to oneself. In no way am I following any meditation tradition. I considered coming up with another label but felt that meditation would be the one most easily understood. I have joined this community and will post my meditation series here in the next week or two.

My name is Rob. I’m 51. I’m an abstract expressionist painter. My diagnoses (received in my early 20s) are ADHD, major depression, and eventually bipolar. I have taken many prescriptions. I have attended much therapy. I’m not doing either at the moment, for a combination of financial and DIY/philosophical reasons. I do not judge the course others take on their route to survival. At least I aspire not to judge. It’s one thing I’m working on, including in meditation.

P.S.
I experienced mild anxiety as I wrote this comment in the form of these thoughts:

• Maybe after one day HandOfDoom already received enough response. I can think of many times I’ve reached out online then retreated as I felt overwhelmed by replies — and I’m not talking as someone with a huge following, 3 replies can overwhelm me!
• If I’m not careful I will write a book length response because figuring this stuff out is my life story.