(My app doesnāt allow marking posts as NSFW. I donāt know whether this should be considered NSFW or not, but I canāt mark it anyway. Iāll sign in on desktop later, if need be. An admin can also do the courtesy of marking it for me. Thank you, regardless.)
Sorry if this is all a little disorganised.
2025 has been a good year for me, despite everything. Iāve made my first attempts to meet new people, thanks to guidance from people on this very platform, and things are finally looking up. I feel productive and somewhat healthy. I feel like Iām in a position to help others, even though things look bleak for all of us.
Except for one problem.
I use drugs more than any of my friends. Iām the only one whoās done DXM, for instance, and I constantly read about new things to try. Iād do opium, even, given the chance. So, thatās the problem, then. I do drugs.
No. No, it isnāt, actually.
The actual problem is that I put so much effort into research, so much effort into considering whatās actually safe to use, so much effort into making sure I donāt overuse them, so much effort into considering doses, so much effort to make sure it doesnāt impact others negatively, so much effort. Thatās despite their history of being upset towards me, and nobody cares. My friends constantly pester me for taking a ādark pathā, and every argument I make to try to object to that results in me being called some form of disabled, or immature, or stupid. One outlier online even called me multiple slurs, claiming my actual mental disorders are also completely fake.
Hereās a good question that should be pretty easy to answer. Which oneās hurting me more? The drugs, or the people? Because the problem certainly isnāt the one that actually keeps me in a good, level-headed, sane headspace, that I use with careāand absolutely the one causing me all this mental turmoil in the first place.
Drugs are a human right. I have a right to determine what goes in my body, and Iāve been exceptionally careful, thanks to the help I was never given. I helped myself. I was suicidal, I pursued DIY psychedelic therapy, and now I find myself on a journey that I couldnāt be happier with.
Yet none of that is enough.
Perhaps more science than Iāve provided already will be enough. Maybe the two week break Iām on will satisfy them. Maybe I should spell it outātheir drugphobia, and unwillingness to accept different viewpoints, or consider my history, strongly mirrors homophobia and transphobia.
Let me make a point. They all drink alcohol. Alcohol is more addictive, and harmful to the user and others (in the form of drunk driving), and is considerably more dangerous than heroin. Yet, theyāll criticise me for using poppers, despite the fact that poppers are considered safer, according to Drug Science, than any other drug they looked in to. Thatās safer than magic mushrooms, possibly the safest drug in existence, arguably. Itās the most widely accepted risk index in the world. Mind you, some of these friends have also used nicotine, too. Also far more dangerous than what I do. I have as well, of course, but Iām considering not using nicotine or alcoholic products ever, not even on occasion. Thatās in contrast to them. Alcohol hurts the body, and drinking less simply slows the process. None of the drugs I use have such a long-term negative effect.
Iām also the only one that estimates my BAC with a calculator every time, but whatever. Thanks for that suggestion, S.
They have no right to criticise me for the very same thing they do on a regular basis. We even smoke weed, and nobody has a problem with it. Probably because itās not taboo enoughā¦ anymore.
Itās hypocrisy, because Iāve actually been safer than them, despite using a wider variety of substances.
I have a small handful of people whoāve been actually supportive, including someone I had just met. They applaud me for the effort Iāve put in to stay safe, and Iām glad to have those kind of people in my life. Some of them have been through incredibly rough patches (it seems like these types are the few with empathy, anymore). Some of them are just open minded. Regardless of their background, though, itās clear that theyāre far more empathetic than some of the people in my primary friend group.
Iām angry, and itās caused by the very people claiming to āhelpā me. They arenāt helping. Theyāre outright berating and slandering me, and at this point, Iām considering simply dropping them. However, Iām a productive person, and simply walking away from my problems is unacceptable by my standards. Thereās a peaceful resolution to this, and I intend to find it.
Iām not wrong, am I? As much as Iāve been gaslit over the years, I still think I can see through it allāthrough all the self doubt, all the people who claimed Iād never be enough. Despite all of that, Iām not suicidal, or even depressed.
So please tell me Iām right. Thanks for reading all this, if you did.
Those people arenāt your friends.
Frequent DXM causes brain damage. Itās one thing if you do that a handful of times a year, another if you do it weekly. Kinda like MDMA (although unrelated but same concept). Opium and heroin arenāt safe, not because of the inherent lack of safety (though theyāve always been known to be very addictive) but because the drug war makes the product likely cut with fentanyl or worse. So unless youāre growing and processing your own opium poppies, not safe.
Yes, drugs are a human right. Psychedelics get a bad rap due to propaganda but are mostly safe when done thoughtfully.
More science doesnāt work on people who go on vibes rather than facts. And drug phobia hardly mirrors homophobia and transphobia. People donāt choose to be queer, but they choose to do drugs. This is a non sequitar the two concepts are not related.
Your commentary on alcohol is a long running one in the weed community. Alcohol is not safe and is essentially poison but not only is it socially acceptable, there seems to be an evolutionary reason for it as other animals are also drawn to partaking in it and they donāt have our human concerns. Letting fruits rot a little before consuming just to get a buzz. And you realize why alcohol is acceptable, when you write about weed, itās because itās not taboo anymore. And weed isnāt harmless! Plenty of people worsen their mental health, end up with digestive issues, and occasionally go schizo. And I say that as a pothead for half my life. Supposedly straight nicotine isnāt harmful in itself, but the methods to consume it mostly are.
You should drop them because theyāre not your friends.
Youāre mostly right, but youāre wrong to act like drugs are harmless just because socially acceptable ones are measurably worse. And youāre wrong to conflate being against using drugs with being against queerness. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your body but you canāt demand people to accept it.
Also, this reads like youāre young, and factually the brain doesnāt stop developing till about 25 or so. If youāre younger than that you should be more careful as brain damage is real and you canāt get back what you lose.
Theyāre 21.
Welp, brain doesnāt stop developing till about 25 so the more drugs used more often the worse the long term effects from brain damage.
Everything in moderation whether itās chocolate or dxm or whatever lol.