i don’t have friends

I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS. this post isn’t about wound dressing.

it seems like i need to make some friends just so there can be someone i can trust who can help me when i can’t help myself due to health reasons

  1. i think i never asked anything from a friend in the past. how do you ask such a thing from a friend?
  2. idk at what level of friendship you can ask something like that?
  3. idk how to have such a friend?
  4. how do i make friends for this purpose?

title was an example. other examples: you might need someone to accompany you at your hospital night stay after your surgery. you might need someone to drive you to a hospital after you break your foot or lose consciousness

  • Deestan@lemmy.world
    6·
    23 hours ago

    Start liking people. Practice finding things you like with people around you. Things that make you feel they are a good person.

    React positively to other people when they say or do things.

    Show interest in what occupies other people.

    (And of course don’t do stupid shit like lash out or insult people to feel better.)

    • fuckyou1@lemmy.worldOP
      1·
      11 hours ago

      what do you mean by a good person? every human has good and bad in them. there is no such thing as a good person:

      Humans or modern humans are the most common and widespread species of primate, and the last surviving species of the genus Homo. They are great apes characterized by their hairlessness, bipedalism, and high intelligence

      there are people who make me feel good because they give me various benefits. is that what you mean?

      let’s say i followed your advice. then i also need to be open to forming connections. no? I think i currently enforce a boundary that keeps me friendless. any thoughts on that?

      • Flagstaff@programming.devEnglish
        1·
        8 hours ago

        What kind of boundary do you mean and why is it so strong as to prevent friendship? Does it even prevent acquaintanceship? Do you at least have non-strangers in your life?

        • fuckyou1@lemmy.worldOP
          1·
          8 hours ago

          What kind of boundary do you mean and why is it so strong as to prevent friendship?

          it seems like part of me doesn’t want any social connections.

          Does it even prevent acquaintanceship?

          i don’t think so

          Do you at least have non-strangers in your life?

          what do you mean by “in my life”?

          • Flagstaff@programming.devEnglish
            1·
            7 hours ago

            what do you mean by “in my life”?

            I mean your social life; are there acquaintances who you had met earlier who you could message, “Hey, it’s @fuckyou1@lemmy.world from (wherever we had met)! How’s it going?” I’m talking about the building blocks to friendship.

            it seems like part of me doesn’t want any social connections.

            Don’t you ever get lonely? What do you do in your free time? Was there some kind of traumatic event in your history that led you to develop AvPD, possibly?

            I also notice that you talked about others giving you benefits; what about the other way around? Have you ever helped anyone and felt good about it as a result?

            • fuckyou1@lemmy.worldOP
              1·
              7 hours ago

              I mean your social life; are there acquaintances who you had met earlier who you could message, “Hey, it’s @fuckyou1@lemmy.world from (wherever we had met)! How’s it going?” I’m talking about the building blocks to friendship.

              yes there are people like that

              Don’t you ever get lonely? What do you do in your free time? Was there some kind of traumatic event in your history that led you to develop AvPD, possibly?

              not sure. i like meeting new interesting people. maybe: https://lemmy.world/post/26616571

              Have you ever helped anyone and felt good about it as a result?

              yeah

              • Flagstaff@programming.devEnglish
                1·
                7 hours ago

                Oh, I had read that post earlier. Yeah, that’s definitely not a good upbringing to have experienced. Sorry you went through that. Thankfully, not all people are bad, so feel free to reach out to any of those contacts and see if you can get something going through lunch or a hobbyist meetup; friendship-building takes time (months of repeated hangouts). If people don’t take the initiative for invitations, then it’s up to us. A lot of people are reactive but not proactive. It sucks but you get used to it.

                However, I don’t think that on average you would be able to make a friend that fast to a depth appropriate for wound care, unless I suppose you specifically befriend a nurse or other medical professional, which is not exactly easy to engineer as opposed to happening to just stumble upon someone.

                If you were in the Milwaukee area near me, I would be able to refer you to some contacts. Maybe post about this in groups focused on your locale, like a Lemmy community here or a local subreddit or even Facebook group.