Omg the first night I was with my friend after shaving my face for the first time in a while, before I was even 100% sure of anything he literally said something along the lines of “You know, you could really pass as a girl right now if you wanted.” Like, I hadn’t done anything special… I just no longer had a beard and had brushed my hair that I had gotten cut to dude length a few months before, and just Jesus Christ… then, his girlfriend said she didn’t see it, and I internally mostly agreed with her that I didn’t look remotely feminine, but still internally freaking out that he even said that… but then he had to clarify “You know, like one of those ugly short haired girls”, and just fucking Christ…

I still just feel the same mixture of giddy and dead inside thinking of it. He’s my best friend, but I wanted to both hug him and kill him. I honestly think it’s about 25% of the reason I’m still not out irl…