Atm not so good. Had a longer streak where I felt really stable, but PMS and now being sick really got me back down.

Got a really crushing diagnosis: ME/CFS. Quite a bummer. Also a friend of mine attempted suicide last week, so i am a bit down.

Trying to make myself go hunting for a psychologist again for an ADHD evaluation. Wasnt really comfortable with the last one and accidentally waited too long to cancel the followup appointment(s) from that, leading to me getting slapped with a huge late cancellation fee.

Tried going into the last one unprepared so as to be unbiased and… that kinda flopped. Mind went blank as i was asked questions and i kinda masked up in response I guess? This time I’ve been writing notes on myself as i think of things for like a couple months to see what they may ask me in response.

I let myself get into a cycle of caffeine to stay awake and booze to fall asleep again this week. Not really big numbers for consumption by most standards, but it’s been enough strain to change how I handle the week’s political upheaval and make me generally irritable, which isn’t fun. I don"t have to do anything tomorrow though, so I’ll be able to set myself right.

Recently, I started psychoanalysis, twice a week, and am still getting used to the new pace. Getting better, things are going well in my life, which nevertheless brings on a baseline dread of looming catastrophy. Weird how that works.