Felt kinda good today. Put on Free Bird. Solo comes up, I’m enjoying the music. Wiggling my feet. Now I’m crying because I cannot dance. I want to dance!
And the worst thing is that I now have to worry about feeling like shit tomorrow because of an emotional outburst.
🫂
That is very touching, I feel for you, that must be incredibly hard. I hope your baseline stays strong tomorrow!
this hits home for me, never been diagnosed with anything but i also could never dance and it wasn’t in the normal “im just bad at dancing” way, either. people struggle to understand the kind of trauma that can stem from that sort of experience, and why you might look like you’re gonna cry at the mere suggestion of going to dance, or swim, or something, etc.
core memory is me being like “i don’t understand why people dance and find so much enjoyment in it” and my girlfriend saying “well, it’s a form of self-expression for most people, kind of like drawing.”
and like… idk something about that just really hit for me in that moment. for me dancing was… the absolute opposite of self-expression. i’d never felt less capable of expressing than when put on a dance floor. it made me feel broken in a weird and inhuman way to learn there was this big facet of the human experience that i was just inexplicably missing out on for no reason…
