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realitista@lemmus.org to Star Trek @lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 个月前

He just sits his ass down on all those buttons- he may or may not be firing lasers out into space

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He just sits his ass down on all those buttons- he may or may not be firing lasers out into space

lemmus.org

realitista@lemmus.org to Star Trek @lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 个月前
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  • TallonMetroid@lemmy.world
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    5 个月前

    Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it’s a butt and therefore not valid input.

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      5 个月前

      What about the guest aliens with hand-butt?

      • Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 个月前

        Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center…

      • TallonMetroid@lemmy.world
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        5 个月前

        Well, that’s just another opportunity for the crew to have some personal growth in resolving the misunderstanding.

    • Freefall@lemmy.world
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      5 个月前

      Or fingerprint reading for every button press.

    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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      5 个月前

      I don’t think that’s what haptic means…

    • Aerosol3215@piefed.ca
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      5 个月前

      ADS… Ass detection system.

  • Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 个月前

    Data’s in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it’s those damned organics and their mating rituals again.

  • Vathsade@lemmy.ca
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    5 个月前

    Riker’s butt already did it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMHAZwR-BdQ

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      5 个月前

      I knew it!

  • MurrayL@lemmy.world
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    5 个月前

    If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.

    • lobut@lemmy.ca
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      5 个月前

      You’re saying they have cheek rejection in the future?

      • notabot@piefed.social
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        5 个月前

        After the third or fourth unfortunate “accidental discharge” incident it was deemed wise to implement a comprehensive butt rejection protocol on all control panels.

      • Billegh@lemmy.world
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        5 个月前

        Cheek and taint!

  • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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    5 个月前

    She looks like she wouldn’t mind him shooting his torpedo at her.

    • errer@lemmy.world
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      5 个月前

      Lower the rear deflector shield 👁️👄👁️

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    5 个月前

    The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.

    • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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      5 个月前

      The ship knows where he is by knowing where he isn’t.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      5 个月前

      Why do they even need Data? It seems like in episodes where they really make use of the ships computer (like the one where Dr Crusher is stuck in a collapsing universe) the computer is just as effective. Also when they are doing NCIS style enhance on an image or something.

      • MotoAsh@piefed.socialBanned
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        5 个月前

        They cannot beam the computer down to planets, and also Data has a lot of character driven stories that wouldn’t work with the ship. The ship definitely doesn’t care to be more human like or to create art.

      • teslekova@sh.itjust.works
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        5 个月前

        Why do they need any crew member? Just send the ship off by itself!

        Except that the entire point is for the crew to go out and look around themselves. They’re not just serving a function, they’re explorers. And so is Data.

  • Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de
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    5 个月前

    Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.

  • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    5 个月前

    Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.

  • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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    5 个月前

    Didn’t Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      5 个月前

      yea, thats why he has the meme of him straddling a chair, or leaning on parts of the bridge.

  • manxu@piefed.social
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    5 个月前

    Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      5 个月前

      If I can get her within range of the lasers then sure. Will be very fitting- hoisted by her own petard.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    5 个月前

    lasers

    • Digit@lemmy.wtf
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      3 个月前

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLGDKVJlqL0

  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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    5 个月前

    Ok, let’s assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.

    • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      5 个月前

      They could have had an episode where Data feels left out because he can’t do any of the consoles.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        5 个月前

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t data have non silicone skin?

        • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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          5 个月前

          Bioplast which is probably biological plastic?

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            5 个月前

            I’m going to be honest. I tried hitting that link on my phone, and it brought up a site that was less than friendly to my VPN/ad blockers.

            • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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              5 个月前

              yeah fandom sucks, but it is the best star trek wiki, content wise

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                5 个月前

                Oh you were talking about the site. My bad homie.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                5 个月前

                This ain’t about fandoms my man’s.

                • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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                  5 个月前

                  my adblocker takes out the worst of it, so I dunno to what you’re referring

                  spoiler

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      5 个月前

      You know what they say happens when you assume things.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        5 个月前

        Class out, ass out!

  • SlothMama@lemmy.world
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    5 个月前

    Lyta

  • lath@piefed.social
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    5 个月前

    That’s how he flirts with the ship computer.

  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.worldBanned
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    5 个月前

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