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HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 个月前

New version of the D in the DENNIS system, DoorDash

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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New version of the D in the DENNIS system, DoorDash

lemmy.dbzer0.com

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 个月前
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  • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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    1 个月前

    What is the charge? Sending a lemon? A single, succulent lemon?

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      1 个月前

      I think it was for stalking:

      Delivery instructions varied:

      “Hand it to him directly”
      “He will know”
      “Tell him she remembers”
      
      14 arrived at exactly 11:47 p.m.
      One arrived during his job interview.
      One arrived at a hospital while he was visiting his father.
      

      https://jobbiecrew.com/doordash-psychological-warfare/

      Edit: FAKE, as found below.

      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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        1 个月前

        Just an FYI, this random content mill doesn’t cite any sources. This has been circulating on Facebook, Instagram, etc. and claims specifically 241 days. I tried finding it, and it’s fortunately just satire. No actual news organizations have covered this, there are no court records, and the most you’ll find are random content mills regurgitating Facebook memes.

        (Edit: But it is surprisingly creative.)

        (Edit 2: And 1847 lemons over 241 days implies 7.5 lemons daily within the fiction of the meme.)

        • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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          1 个月前

          Thanks for finding that and it is pretty creative, lol. Here is something else she did:

          26-YEAR-OLD WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY IN MANITOBA’S FIRST-EVER ‘AGGRESSIVE CAROLING’ CASE — STOOD OUTSIDE HER EX-BOYFRIEND’S HOUSE EVERY NIGHT IN DECEMBER — SANG ONLY ‘LAST CHRISTMAS’ — FOR 14 NIGHTS

          https://www.instagram.com/p/DX1zhj4mlCm/

          • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 个月前

            She sounds like a real go-getter!

          • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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            1 个月前

            I’ve heard mentioning Manitoba in your fake meme makes it seem believable

        • BurgerBaron@quokk.au
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          1 个月前

          If you think about it for 3 seconds the story falls apart yeah. That’s no fun. Door Dash would blacklist as soon as the ex complained.

          But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it’d take.

          • N0t_5ure@lemmy.world
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            1 个月前

            But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it’d take.

            If you’re looking for government or police intervention, the answer is that it would never happen. They don’t give a shit. I was subjected to actual stalking and harassment for an extended period of time (years) from my ex and people affiliated with her, and the police were absolutely worthless.

            • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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              1 个月前

              You should try having more money. Generally, the police help people with lots of money.

          • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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            1 个月前

            Yeah, the meme tries to dress it up as her having used 11 spoof accounts, but it misses the obvious point that they’d just block the address/that specific one-lemon order altogether.

            I was willing to give this the slightest bit of credibility to try looking it up until the meme started elaborating on numbers and nailed the coffin shut.

          • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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            1 个月前

            It would also be insanely expensive. Also usually you would order something like this from instacart. Most restaurants don’t have a single lemon menu option. Though I mow they’ve been expanding into offering services to other areas, to get in on instacart style action. (Personally I would never trust a dasher to shop like an ic shopper.)

            • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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              1 个月前

              Hello, I’d like to subscribe to lemons. Ultra diamond level with the find me anywhere option.

            • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 个月前

              20 to 40 thousand dollars I think

          • optimisticturtle@lemmy.worlddeleted by creator
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            1 个月前

            She would be eaten alive in service fees, fees for not hitting the minimal spending threshold, tip, etc.

            In fact, I just tried and one 89c lemon came out to $12.80

      • wander1236@sh.itjust.works
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        1 个月前

        The biggest indication of it being fake is any sort of consistent arrival time. That just doesn’t make sense for any courier or delivery service

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 个月前

        11:47pm is 40 minutes later than the time of day John Lennon died on the 8th of December 1980!

        Coincidence? I think so!

        • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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          1 个月前

          John Lemon is a door Dasher, confirmed!

    • waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world
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      1 个月前

      Gentlemen, this is delivery manifest!

      • suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus
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        1 个月前

        Can confirm:

        DELIVERY MANIFEST
        +---------------+
        | QTY | ITEM |
        +---------------+
        | 1 | LEMON |
        +---------------+

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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        1 个月前

        I see you know your judo well.

    • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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      1 个月前

      I would love to receive fresh lemons all the time.

      • tomiant@piefed.socialBanned
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        1 个月前

        They have an app for that!

  • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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    1 个月前

    When life gives you lemons, arrest life.

    • [deleted]@piefed.world
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      1 个月前

      Life gave humans citrons and bitter oranges and we used them to make lemons.

      • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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        1 个月前

        What if you’re allergic to citrus? When life gives you lemons, swell up and die

  • jaaake@lemmy.world
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    1 个月前

    Can anyone find a legitimate source for this?

    Everything I can find all points back to a Facebook posting on a page called “Memezar,” which doesn’t cite any sources or contain any details that would help in a search.

    • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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      deleted by creator

      • jaaake@lemmy.world
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        1 个月前

        I also found those.

        The image in the article has a watermark from Memezar, has all of the same text from the Memezar Facebook post, except that it has named the woman. Searching for a woman of that name in Toronto doesn’t match up with the image in the article.

        The YouTube video doesn’t offer any new details or cite source, but it repeats some of the details from the Memezar Facebook post.

      • bss03@infosec.pub
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        1 个月前

        I believe it is fake (or satire): https://lemmy.world/comment/24087259

        Ping: @jaaake@lemmy.world

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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    1 个月前

    Someone’s still sour about it!

  • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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    I see nothing wrong here. Just a girl enjoying her lemon party 1847 times.

    • Flyswat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 个月前

      What’s a lemon party?

      • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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        1 个月前

        Something you probably shouldn’t Google if you’re still at work

        • cockmushroom@reddthat.com
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          1 个月前

          Speak for yourself

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    1 个月前

    How many lemons can I door dash someone before it becomes a crime? 🤔

    • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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      1 个月前

      Sounds like 1,846

  • Zacryon@feddit.org
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    1 个月前

    The important question is, whether the ex made lemonade.

    • kralizec@feddit.nl
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      1 个月前

      that, or invented combustible lemons…

  • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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    1 个月前

    When ex-wife sends you lemons…

  • village604@adultswim.fan
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    1 个月前

    That’s like $3600, minimum

    • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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      1 个月前

      Yeah but she paid right?

      • village604@adultswim.fan
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        1 个月前

        She did. I just feel you get diminishing returns after the first several hundred lemons.

        • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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          She probably bought them in bulk. They keep a long time in the cold.

          • village604@adultswim.fan
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            She sent him orders of exactly one lemon, though.

            • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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              That’s what I meant: that will cost less if you buy them in bulk, then use them one by one.

              Premeditated harassment!

              Granted, 241 days is a long time. Maybe 2 bulks then.

              I am, of course, entirely serious about this.

              • suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus
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                She used doordash though. I’m pretty sure you can’t send your own pre-bought lemons using doordash.

                • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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                  Oh. This shows my ignorance! I never use such services.

          • Janx@piefed.social
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            1 个月前

            What? She used DoorDash.

    • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Delivery fees alone are probably $10k+.

      • village604@adultswim.fan
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        I did a conservative estimate based on Doordash’s lowest at $1.99

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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    I wish someone cared about me not getting scurvy this much

    • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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      I wonder if it was bizarre enough for the ex to know exactly who this is coming from, or if it was bizarre enough to make him freak out.

      edit: apparently the latter

  • eareetator@lemmy.world
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    Was it at regular intervals? Like one every two days or only on weekends? That’s a fresh lemon for a nice tequila guaranteed

  • picnic@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 个月前

    I can fix her

    • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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      1 个月前

      Fix? What more can a man want than 1,847 lemons?

  • Sharkticon@lemmy.zip
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    Literally what is the crime, though?

    • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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      Door dashing a lemon!? A succulent yellow lemon!?

    • PrimeErective@startrek.website
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      deleted by creator

  • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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    1 个月前

    I wish I had exes that gave me fruit. “Oh no, I have to make extra salads?”

  • tomiant@piefed.socialBanned
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    When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons.

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