It absolutely is an attack on “fake fan” women and girls. The men who do this want to be able to act superior and smug. They want to prove that a woman couldn’t really like or understand “Specific Niche (or even not really) Thing That Has Mostly Male Fans” cause women don’t have Superior Logic like men do. Thus, any woman who claims to be a fan of Said Specific Niche Thing is lying to make men think she is “cool”, and oh boy, do they love to catch women in a lie.
As a lifelong nerd and musician, I have been challenged in this way more times than I can count, and it absofuckinglutely is because I look femme. They didn’t ask the guy friend right next to me what the entire backstory of Halo is, or whether he could name any character besides Master Chief and Cortana, even though we were both wearing Halo swag. They didn’t question why my husband was at a Coheed and Cambria concert, but felt the need to literally breathe down my neck while asking if I really knew the narrative order of the albums. And so on and so on and so on, from the age of 13 when I went to my first fucking rock concert and my first fucking anime con. Literally over 20 years of this shit now, and they Don’t. Do. It. To. Men. They just fucking don’t.
And in case you can’t tell, it gets really old and really annoying to be told over and over again that this doesn’t happen, that we’re making shit up, that “they’re just trying to be friendly, why can’t you just humor them?” If you got harassed about your hobbies day in and day out for over 20 years, you’d probably get pretty fucking sick of it, too.
I was in no was justifying it or condoning it. I was merely trying to reiterate OPs comment in a more understandable way. As someone who does get ridiculed constantly for my hobbies, yeah I understand, don’t worry. Once again I am only yearning for the days of civil conversation and not everything being offensive or a fight. No part of me ever downplays the severity of sexism against any gender, and I am actively in the fight against it.
But the point is, the implication that “it doesn’t happen very often” is wrong. It happens literally all the time, and trying to act like it doesn’t is downplaying the severity of sexism against women. So you questioned why I responded to the initial post the way I did? It’s because they were implying that this doesn’t happen, so I sarcastically said, ‘oh good, I must have imagined it’ to point out how fucking absurd it is for a man to claim this doesn’t happen to women and femme coded people. And in your other comment you flat out said you didn’t think it was an attack on women, which again is wrong. This is a thing that insecure and angry men perpetuate explicitly as an attack against women in what they see as “their spaces”. Again downplaying the inherent sexism in the act.
My response to you served as your answer for “why I responded that way”: because this shit inundates women every day and we’re constantly told it’s not happening, or at least not at the rate we say it is. And that shit gets fucking old. So how else should I respond to yet another clueless numpty claiming my experiences didn’t happen? Should I coddle him and tell him it’s ok, he’s right and the world is actually roses and daisies and everyone who says otherwise is “larping”? Should I play the patient mommy and lead him along gently hoping he’ll eventually come to the conclusion that he was wrong? Yeah, sorry, after 20+ years most of us don’t have that kind of patience anymore. Ridicule seems to work better anyway because when we’re too kind we just get ignored 🤷🏻♀️
This is not an argument I’m willing to have. If it were a discussion and not generalization maybe I’d participate. I genuinely hope you do good in life and will continue what I do to break the male stereotype. Have a good night.
No, you are literally incapable of holding a conversation without projecting or generalization. No matter what you identify as, I don’t have time for that behavior.
It absolutely is an attack on “fake fan” women and girls. The men who do this want to be able to act superior and smug. They want to prove that a woman couldn’t really like or understand “Specific Niche (or even not really) Thing That Has Mostly Male Fans” cause women don’t have Superior Logic like men do. Thus, any woman who claims to be a fan of Said Specific Niche Thing is lying to make men think she is “cool”, and oh boy, do they love to catch women in a lie.
As a lifelong nerd and musician, I have been challenged in this way more times than I can count, and it absofuckinglutely is because I look femme. They didn’t ask the guy friend right next to me what the entire backstory of Halo is, or whether he could name any character besides Master Chief and Cortana, even though we were both wearing Halo swag. They didn’t question why my husband was at a Coheed and Cambria concert, but felt the need to literally breathe down my neck while asking if I really knew the narrative order of the albums. And so on and so on and so on, from the age of 13 when I went to my first fucking rock concert and my first fucking anime con. Literally over 20 years of this shit now, and they Don’t. Do. It. To. Men. They just fucking don’t.
And in case you can’t tell, it gets really old and really annoying to be told over and over again that this doesn’t happen, that we’re making shit up, that “they’re just trying to be friendly, why can’t you just humor them?” If you got harassed about your hobbies day in and day out for over 20 years, you’d probably get pretty fucking sick of it, too.
I was in no was justifying it or condoning it. I was merely trying to reiterate OPs comment in a more understandable way. As someone who does get ridiculed constantly for my hobbies, yeah I understand, don’t worry. Once again I am only yearning for the days of civil conversation and not everything being offensive or a fight. No part of me ever downplays the severity of sexism against any gender, and I am actively in the fight against it.
But the point is, the implication that “it doesn’t happen very often” is wrong. It happens literally all the time, and trying to act like it doesn’t is downplaying the severity of sexism against women. So you questioned why I responded to the initial post the way I did? It’s because they were implying that this doesn’t happen, so I sarcastically said, ‘oh good, I must have imagined it’ to point out how fucking absurd it is for a man to claim this doesn’t happen to women and femme coded people. And in your other comment you flat out said you didn’t think it was an attack on women, which again is wrong. This is a thing that insecure and angry men perpetuate explicitly as an attack against women in what they see as “their spaces”. Again downplaying the inherent sexism in the act.
My response to you served as your answer for “why I responded that way”: because this shit inundates women every day and we’re constantly told it’s not happening, or at least not at the rate we say it is. And that shit gets fucking old. So how else should I respond to yet another clueless numpty claiming my experiences didn’t happen? Should I coddle him and tell him it’s ok, he’s right and the world is actually roses and daisies and everyone who says otherwise is “larping”? Should I play the patient mommy and lead him along gently hoping he’ll eventually come to the conclusion that he was wrong? Yeah, sorry, after 20+ years most of us don’t have that kind of patience anymore. Ridicule seems to work better anyway because when we’re too kind we just get ignored 🤷🏻♀️
This is not an argument I’m willing to have. If it were a discussion and not generalization maybe I’d participate. I genuinely hope you do good in life and will continue what I do to break the male stereotype. Have a good night.
Sorry I hurt your fee fees by not telling you what a good ally you are for… checks… Thinking that it’s ok to imply women are making things up 😂
No, you are literally incapable of holding a conversation without projecting or generalization. No matter what you identify as, I don’t have time for that behavior.