In the UK a lot of people stubbornly believe the unemployed live lives of luxury*. Not helped by reality TV shows just a decade ago like Benefits Street which showed people on social security living it large.
In reality the vast majority of people want to work.
E.g. 3 years ago I lost 2 jobs in 6 months during their respective probation periods. I’d been employed all my life and helped launch 2 successful companies in my 20s. But suddenly in 6 months my entire world view collapsed after losing two jobs.
Since then I’ve attempted suicide 4 times. Had 3 psychotic episodes. Self harmed and been convicted of a crime I don’t even remember committing.
My probation officer has known me 3 months and is already pressuring me to start work.
Have I had help for my mental health? Have I fuck. Well, except being stuck on antidepressants that don’t work. My psychosis has stopped but could start again when I’m under stress (paranoia & hearing voices).
But wait. What caused such a significant spiral? Losing my fucking job - twice!
But I’m being pushed by society and a probation officer to restart work with no mental health support or treatment. I’m being pressured into something that runs the risk of me losing the job and once again spiralling into substance abuse and suicide.
That isn’t fair on the company I may eventually end up at or…and I feel guilty for saying it…me.
I feel guilty every fucking day for being on ‘benefits’. I’ve been almost a complete shut in with no friends or family. I’m utterly fucked.
I want to work. I’d actually love to work in an office cos I wanna be around people again even though my options enable WFH. But it runs the risk of killing me via another psychotic break and no one is helping me except a 3 month waiting list for therapy.
You’re using them exactly as intended, and that’s a good thing.
Being on benefits alone does not mean people dislike you. I think the way most people see it is that there are two groups: the people who try and get jobs and use benefits to live in the meantime, and the ones who intentionally coast by and live on the taxpayers money without ever intending to work honestly.
You are part of the former group. The good ones. So please don’t feel guilty for accepting help.
Do you are using any antipsychotic and/or mood stabilizer? I’m 90% sure you are bipolar from what you are saying, and from my 27 to 29 I was barely functional in my job and not functional at all in any other area of my life without a mood stabilizer. And my life changed hard after it
Second on the other response about mood stabilizers and bipolar disorder.
Not to internet doctor here, but giving certain antidepressants and other medications to someone who is bipolar sends them into severe mania. That happened to me and I had no idea that anything was really wrong with the drugs they gave me. I didn’t even know what mania even meant.
The psychiatrist at the university health center only had a 15 minute conversation and see you in a few months. If I wanted real therapy I had to go somewhere else. So thus I was pretty out of my mind for god knows how many months until I decided to stop taking them. Maybe almost a year? It was all a blur.
Takeaway is to advocate for yourself, take a look at the drugs they are giving you, and keep calling these doctors to tell them what is and isn’t working. It is an uphill battle and the system is broken here in the US. I don’t want to assume gender here, but I really feel for you if you are a woman and have to deal with sexism in the medical system on top of everything else.
Mental health is hard and it sucks when your life spirals so far out of control all at once. Take the safety net. You got this. I like spending time in cafes, so I can be around people for a while. I always find it kind of relaxing to be there, but not have to interact with anyone if I don’t want to. Be kind to yourself, internet stranger.
In the UK a lot of people stubbornly believe the unemployed live lives of luxury*. Not helped by reality TV shows just a decade ago like Benefits Street which showed people on social security living it large.
In reality the vast majority of people want to work.
E.g. 3 years ago I lost 2 jobs in 6 months during their respective probation periods. I’d been employed all my life and helped launch 2 successful companies in my 20s. But suddenly in 6 months my entire world view collapsed after losing two jobs.
Since then I’ve attempted suicide 4 times. Had 3 psychotic episodes. Self harmed and been convicted of a crime I don’t even remember committing.
My probation officer has known me 3 months and is already pressuring me to start work.
Have I had help for my mental health? Have I fuck. Well, except being stuck on antidepressants that don’t work. My psychosis has stopped but could start again when I’m under stress (paranoia & hearing voices).
But wait. What caused such a significant spiral? Losing my fucking job - twice!
But I’m being pushed by society and a probation officer to restart work with no mental health support or treatment. I’m being pressured into something that runs the risk of me losing the job and once again spiralling into substance abuse and suicide.
That isn’t fair on the company I may eventually end up at or…and I feel guilty for saying it…me.
I feel guilty every fucking day for being on ‘benefits’. I’ve been almost a complete shut in with no friends or family. I’m utterly fucked.
I want to work. I’d actually love to work in an office cos I wanna be around people again even though my options enable WFH. But it runs the risk of killing me via another psychotic break and no one is helping me except a 3 month waiting list for therapy.
*The UK has the worst benefits in the OECD.
Removed by mod
I second this.
You’re using them exactly as intended, and that’s a good thing.
Being on benefits alone does not mean people dislike you. I think the way most people see it is that there are two groups: the people who try and get jobs and use benefits to live in the meantime, and the ones who intentionally coast by and live on the taxpayers money without ever intending to work honestly.
You are part of the former group. The good ones. So please don’t feel guilty for accepting help.
You’re a valuable person outside of a job. Life sucks sometimes. I hope you’re able to get better
Do you are using any antipsychotic and/or mood stabilizer? I’m 90% sure you are bipolar from what you are saying, and from my 27 to 29 I was barely functional in my job and not functional at all in any other area of my life without a mood stabilizer. And my life changed hard after it
Second on the other response about mood stabilizers and bipolar disorder.
Not to internet doctor here, but giving certain antidepressants and other medications to someone who is bipolar sends them into severe mania. That happened to me and I had no idea that anything was really wrong with the drugs they gave me. I didn’t even know what mania even meant.
The psychiatrist at the university health center only had a 15 minute conversation and see you in a few months. If I wanted real therapy I had to go somewhere else. So thus I was pretty out of my mind for god knows how many months until I decided to stop taking them. Maybe almost a year? It was all a blur.
Takeaway is to advocate for yourself, take a look at the drugs they are giving you, and keep calling these doctors to tell them what is and isn’t working. It is an uphill battle and the system is broken here in the US. I don’t want to assume gender here, but I really feel for you if you are a woman and have to deal with sexism in the medical system on top of everything else.
Mental health is hard and it sucks when your life spirals so far out of control all at once. Take the safety net. You got this. I like spending time in cafes, so I can be around people for a while. I always find it kind of relaxing to be there, but not have to interact with anyone if I don’t want to. Be kind to yourself, internet stranger.