Ugghh I feel like a complete bitch posting this but I can’t be alone in this. I know somebody who has completely subscribed to SNL and I can now see it in her posts. She has become very similar to her in how she posts what she is talking about the whole “woe is me” attitude. Anyways they just reposted today’s post saying how beautiful it was and all this shit and now I am having a hard time not being disgusted with this person and I really want to unfollow them. (I went to point out too I have NOTHING against people speaking out about their mental health issues and what not but when it starts to feel like they are only talking about it to justify their behaviours and almost get sympathy it becomes super cringy for me. One can talk about it but I don’t need to hear all about what your therapist, midwife, doctor said or see pictures of your crying about something)
Has anybody else had this? Sorry for the rant, I might just be PMS bitchy today
White women tears are dangerous. While I dont feel SNL is a bad human, I actually believe the Internet addiction fed into insecurities and it’s robbed her of a sense of self (I don’t wish this upon anyone). While your friend may not recognize the problems now (I mean most if not all of us are here because at me point we too fell victim to believing that perfectly imperfect curated SNL life was ideal), sometimes pointing out something general helps. For example say “have you noticed there’s a lot of white women taking over body positivity - a movement started and owed to Black women?” Or “I’m bothered by how non-consenting children are regularly exploited by brands through influencers” , or “wow there’s a lot of people talking about mental health while ignoring genocide and the mental health of those in constant state of trauma”. Because SNL, I believe is s good human who doesn’t have a good circle of friends pushing her to be truly a hood advocate/ally. Friends who won’t call you out aren’t friends, they’re coasting on success. Brands that look for the same “non-controversial” influencers who are sunshine and lollipops are not brands giving back to the world.
As far as crying goes, I do think she does face moral dilemmas , anxiety and mental distress. I also do recognize that she needs a true circle to tell her to be more authentic and less brand-focused. “Yes men” have benefits from not arguing, confronting or bringing up issues with their “leader” /friend. Friendships and relationships with non-white people do not inherently make us anti-racist. Everyone, (including myself or anyone here, who hasn’t had LIVED experience as minorities) has the duty to examine daily why white women tears are powerful but dangerous and why they can cause harm. They dismiss the original issues and immediately cause us all to go into “protect her” mode. I do think that she need a support and needs protecting, but it’s from the people who are constantly demanding everything of her (brands) to make her entire life a brand, and any true friend would be telling her that that is unhealthy and would be standing up for her. But anyone questioning if she has mental health issues or not obviously has never been through anything I’m selves because nobody’s journey looks the same. Tell your friend that there are so many more inspirational people out there. Tell them to start with wizard Bisan in Palestine literally surviving a genocide.
*So while I agree with your general stance about “white woman tears” syndrome and how it’s harmful. And that people need community around them to help teach them to be accountable, it kind of stops at that.
*I don’t think SNL is a good person. I don’t know if she’s bad 🤷🏼♀️, but I would say she is immoral and selfish. You’re right it does seem like no one in her circle holds her accountable but I also can’t say it’s their job. She’s almost 40, by this age you should have your own internal moral compass and capability to examine your actions. It also does seem like she doesn’t have any actual friendships in general. Which I bet comes down to her own doing. She most likely doesn’t want friends available to her, it seems she only wants to deal with ppl who will do something for her. The point is, we might think she is struggling (and she might be), but everyone has anxiety and gets sad. I think she is living the life she wanted, except she wishes she was slimmer with her real face resembling her filtered face.
*As far as for OP, it sucks when we see friends exhibiting toxic traits or just stuff we don’t agree with. If it’s a friend talk to her, if not, then unfollow and keep on keeping.
I don’t think SNL is a good person either. I think she’s too selfish to be good because good people don’t think about what’s in it for them and that’s all she thinks about. I remember when the oldest was taking her Nana K out for lunch and Sarah was waxing on about how lovely it was because it was sincere - not transactional. I don’t think she understands the concept. She’s even in a transactional relationship with the preschooler
I personally disagree about her being a good human. Because she has had countless people point out all of the harm she causes. To her audience (under the guise of help), to her children and the younger generation with the editing, to her children by exploiting them, to those she plagiarized from. Her response is to silence and gaslight. That’s not how good humans typically respond to being informed that they have caused harm. And she purposely surrounds herself with people who won’t hold her accountable.
I won’t go as far as to necessarily say she’s a bad human…but she sure has behaved like one. She’s caused a lot of harm and her response to attempts to hold her accountable have been concerning. I haven’t seen much, if anything, from her that would indicate she’s a good person. She just pretends to be one when it’s convenient but doesn’t seem to actually do the work or take the responsibility of having a platform that size seriously. She’s caused a ton of harm and doesn’t give a fuck. Just wants to shut people up about it.