I was just having a conversation with my wife this morning about my anxiety about the first time I was going to be confronted for my identity. I told her how I felt like it was going to happen soon as I stop passing as cis. Being in a red state in a very rural area makes these anxieties spiral.
Well, it finally happened. I was approached by a stranger for being trans in front of my wife and 20mo son…
And it was such a heartwarming and hopeful interaction! (sorry, I couldn’t resist the clickbait plot twist)
My family and I were eating at the local Sam’s Club and a man walked up to me and started talking directly to me.
He started with “I don’t mean to be presumptuous but…”
Me: Oh shit, here we go. First confrontation and it’s in front of my son as we are just enjoying lunch
Him: I don’t mean to be presumptuous but I noticed your family is unconventional; my family is also unconventional (He is FtM and his wife is MtF; assumedly). I just wanted to say that if you’re looking for resources or community in the area, these are for you
*he hands me two business cards. One card has a website with a big list of transgender resources in my area. The other card is for a local Lutheran Church.
Him: if you’re looking for a church, these people don’t give a sh*t who you are - they preach about accepting all people and loving and supporting your community. Very loving group of people who accept everyone for who they are.
He patted me on the shoulder, wished me and my family a happy rest of our day and gave a genuine smile as he walked away.
I muttered a thank you but was mostly shocked and didn’t even catch his name.
Luckily, once my family was finished eating, we ended up catching him and his wife on the way out. We got to talking a bit more.
I told him that I really needed that because my wife and I are desperate to find local queer community. We talked about how difficult the beginning stages are (I’m 5 months since cracking and 6 weeks on HRT) but it gets so much better. He isn’t religious (neither am I) but he goes to this church for the community.
I tell him thank you a million times and we exchange names. We end up hugging tightly for a few moments and we were both a little teary.
Final thought. My wife and I looked up the church and it seems their pastor is queer as well and they specifically mention that they are a trans safe place.
I think my wife and I might end up trying them out in the hopes of creating more friendships and a sense of community. We aren’t religious (and can’t believe we are considering going to church) but are looking for a community that accepts us as we are. Who knows, maybe that’s at church? Lol
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Proper Christians will accept you regardless of your beliefs and won’t pressure you to change your perspective.
I’m glad you had such a positive interaction and wish you and your family the best.
It’s sad that it’s so shocking to hear about Christians that practice what they preach instead of hating while preaching acceptance.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
That’s such a sweet interaction. Us trans people can definitely sniff out our own much better than cis people can. He was so sweet to hand you all those resources. We need more people like him in the world.
I definitely recommend visiting the church. Churches are one of the best ways to find tight knit community who will help you in your time of need in most red states (ESPECIALLY rural areas or small-ish towns). It’s also a good place to help other people through church ministries such as clothes closets, soup kitchens, crowdfunding for someone in need, etc. An openly queer church is a MAJOR bonus.
I’m not a Christian at all and likely will never be, but I still go to church because it is a very good hub for community and I live in a rural area. My main thing is singing in the choir and I mostly tune out the sermons, haha. My church isn’t like accepting accepting, they don’t go out of their way to help queer people specifically or talk about it much at all, but there’s not much judgement around it either. I still feel really lucky that I found a church like that, though. Point is you are VERY lucky to have a church like that near you and I heavily encourage you to try it out. Lutherans generally have a good reputation for progressive theology and activism. I’m very excited for you!
