"Some fascist idiot made it a legal requirement to display this bullshit:
I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no gods before me. For I am insecure, and must threaten you if you so much as even look at another god. Because I love you so much.
Thou shalt make no graven images. Seriously, if you draw another god in your dreams, you better wake up and apologize. Bitch. Oh yeah, that reminds me.
Thou shalt not take thy Lord’s name in vain. Keep my motherfucking name out your motherfucking mouth.
Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy. That’s Me time, baby. I don’t even want you mowing the lawn. Do that loud shit on your own time.
Honor thy father and thy mother. Unless they aren’t Christians, in which case, fuck them heathens.
Thou shalt not kill. Or, I mean, murder. If a thug steps to you, and you have to ‘defend’ your castle, blast away. Especially heathens. That’s why I gave you guns in the first place.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless you’re a Christian religious or political leader, in which case, try not to get caught. Or whatever, as long as you still hate heathens, we’re good.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Unless… same deal with adultery. Do what you gotta do.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. If he’s got a nice house, skip those avocado toast and venti macchiatos, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and go ask your parents to buy you a house. Just quit whining about it, damn.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or slaves, or his animals. Even the really sexy animals. Matter of fact, especially the really sexy animals. Those all belong to your neighbor, for his sexual enjoyment. That’s why they are all listed together in one group. Don’t even think about having sex with anything that belongs to your neighbor. I want to be very clear about this: I, the Lord thy God, the great I Am, the Alpha and the Omega, specifically forbid you from wanting the things that belong to your neighbor, which include his wife, his slaves, and his sexy, sexy animals. That’s super important, which is why I put it last. You always remember the last thing in a list, it’s called the Recency Effect. Look it up.
Can I donate some posters?
"Some fascist idiot made it a legal requirement to display this bullshit:
I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no gods before me. For I am insecure, and must threaten you if you so much as even look at another god. Because I love you so much.
Thou shalt make no graven images. Seriously, if you draw another god in your dreams, you better wake up and apologize. Bitch. Oh yeah, that reminds me.
Thou shalt not take thy Lord’s name in vain. Keep my motherfucking name out your motherfucking mouth.
Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy. That’s Me time, baby. I don’t even want you mowing the lawn. Do that loud shit on your own time.
Honor thy father and thy mother. Unless they aren’t Christians, in which case, fuck them heathens.
Thou shalt not kill. Or, I mean, murder. If a thug steps to you, and you have to ‘defend’ your castle, blast away. Especially heathens. That’s why I gave you guns in the first place.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless you’re a Christian religious or political leader, in which case, try not to get caught. Or whatever, as long as you still hate heathens, we’re good.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Unless… same deal with adultery. Do what you gotta do.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. If he’s got a nice house, skip those avocado toast and venti macchiatos, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and go ask your parents to buy you a house. Just quit whining about it, damn.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or slaves, or his animals. Even the really sexy animals. Matter of fact, especially the really sexy animals. Those all belong to your neighbor, for his sexual enjoyment. That’s why they are all listed together in one group. Don’t even think about having sex with anything that belongs to your neighbor. I want to be very clear about this: I, the Lord thy God, the great I Am, the Alpha and the Omega, specifically forbid you from wanting the things that belong to your neighbor, which include his wife, his slaves, and his sexy, sexy animals. That’s super important, which is why I put it last. You always remember the last thing in a list, it’s called the Recency Effect. Look it up.
Sincerely,
God"