• Lvxferre@lemmy.ml
    9·
    1 year ago

    And then when you do show them a license in Spanish:

    • “Nope, we don’t accept licenses in español, only in castellano”
    • “Che, here’s your bloody license in cahteʃano”
    • “Nope. It needs to be in casteyano”
    • “Sos boludo?”
    • “Sos? LALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOUR VOSEO LALALA”

    Then they eventually give Spanish up, because there’s too big of a chance that people will actually show them a license in Spanish regardless of the arbitrary restrictions that they might put. They go for Majorcan instead. No, licenses in Catalan or Valencian are not to be accepted, they must be in Majorcan and only Majorcan. As they learned from German tourists: “zi us ploi, full una zeaveza”. (They also buried some clauses 30m deep in the sand. A good thing that they didn’t need to dig the holes, the tourists did it for them.)

    But there’s still some chance that someone might enforce copyleft against them, so they stick to Portuguese instead. It must be spoken loudly, and you need to use the right rhotic. They never say which, but no matter which you use you’re doing it wrong, be it [ɾ ɹ ɻ r h x χ ʁ ʀ ɣ], you’re doing it wrong and thus you can’t enforce it.

    And at the end of the day they switch back to English, and then they start “ackshyually” to prove that the free license was actually costless (free as in free beer), not unchained (free as in free speech).