• Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I think it’s sort of built in tbh. I can’t remember when it wasn’t the case.

    All the cozy stuff arson, animal cruelty and the things as a kid.

    I just don’t have this sense you all neurotypicals have. And I only know because some drugs make me see a glimpse of it. Of this sort of warm feeling towards living beings. It’s very rare to feel this for me

    It’s kinda nice but like it’s super ephemeral. But it all has its pros and cons

    And you are right I don’t even understand friendship or why would I want one. Like I don’t get it it seems too much hassle to get things you can have without it

    • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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      4 months ago

      Christ as if any of that makes you special.

      Kids burn shit all the time, my sister tried to start a circus that killed all our pets and more.

      You are just roleplaying your idea of a perfect person to get through this reality extra hard. I don’t care. You aren’t actually special or better than anyone. You are barely unique in a numbers game anyways.

      You are whoever you act like. Congrats. You picked a sure heck of a winner. Shame it’s so pathetic.

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Well then I am several people then because holy shit I change it week to week, day to day

        Otherwise it would be boring yes

        Yesterday was truly best person day, today is worst person day

          • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            Well maybe because I could have like narcissism or npd it’s pretty probable. Psychedelics revealed it to me many times

            Or like that one - HPD

            Lemme have some fun online from time to time

            More psychedelics after today is in order though to balance this rampage so to say, they always recenter me.

            At some point I will get a good grasp on this thing and enough data points. Gonna pop some stuff now and see how this experience relates to my internal psyche

            • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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              4 months ago

              All just names to say you want to be special.

              I truly don’t care. Everyone else is already unique and also living the same reality as you. Get over yourself or go away and don’t rely on anyone else for anything.

              I will end with this.
              You sound like my methed up sister who insists she’s special too. I only hope you don’t actually end up like her. Mostly because you end up doing awful shit to people because you are searching for some high of superiority. It’s left her very alone and taken advantage of more than she’s taken advantage of others.

              • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
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                4 months ago

                I don’t really do awful shit though like by choice. I have been doing and sometimes miss these times but I acknowledge the dead end it becomes.

                I mean I don’t do awful shit for the sake of just doing awful shit anymore at least. I am a proper citizen now you know. If there’s awful shit to be done the reward must be adequate