Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.
You’re not alone in having this sort of story.
Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.