Yesterday was the first time in my life I came close to self-harm. I bought some bralettes and gaffs to, I don’t even know, try to look more feminine I guess? But I tried them on and I looked, for lack of a better description, breathtakingly revolting. So bad I think I must have disassociated for about fifteen minutes, no thoughts no emotions, just pulling them off me like live snakes. Then I had a breakdown.

I had to fight the urge all day yesterday and today to delete this account, and my matrix account, and discord, and any other account I could remember, fight the urge to isolate myself from everyone and everything so I would never have to be perceived by anyone ever again.

I was just trying to explain why you’re not finding the material you’re looking for, I am absolutely learning in a vacuum too.

My advice was not “have you tried not?”, it was a recommendation to do what other girlies have done, use their knowledge and experience, do what is already working. That’s exactly why we have spaces like this, and the matrix chatrooms, and other trans spaces.

Cis girls generally don’t do it the way you are trying to, and you will continue to have lesser results while you do it this way. Cis girls did not do this alone, you’re not alone, you don’t need to be alone.

But if you want to ignore me and be combative instead, then that’s up to you.

I feel like this isn’t the way most cis girlies learn about makeup, so you’re not finding much material to learn this way. The fundamentals come from parents, from big sisters, from friends, and most importantly from experimenting and finding what does and doesn’t work for them. A book can’t tell you what looks good on your face, we all have slightly different imperfections and insecurities, slightly different tastes and aesthetics.

Once you have that you build on it with more of the same, which results in the kinds of videos you’re seeing. You ask friends what they’re doing when they look good, what products they’re using, when a new style is trending girlies create shorts and videos for it, when you want to match an aesthetic there’s videos related to that aesthetic. You play, you mix and match, you share, you copy, and you innovate.

Stop looking for documentation and manuals, embrace the sisterhood to which all women belong.

My point is that corporations cannot be victims because they’re not people, they’re a legal construct. They cannot be victims any more than a table can be a victim when I spill my drink over it. The term “victim”, whether intentional or not, is an emotive word that invokes ideas of injustice and suffering.

Marketing teams and corporate executives convinced people and legal systems that corporations are people in an attempt to engender sympathy, personification, and to avoid responsibility for their own failures, like the case in this article where managerial and procedural failures by those in charge led to the ability for this ex-employee to be able to do what he did.

It’s their own fault if they didn’t take the reasonable precautions that anyone should be aware of when going in to business for profit.

Yes I did.

It’s their own fault if they didn’t take the reasonable precautions that anyone should be aware of when going in to business for profit.

Notice how in my original comment I added “through improper security” and “improper practices”.

If you are running a business and get robbed without security cameras, insurance, and other reasonable protective and preventative methods, then you are at fault.

victim blaming

Can’t tell if this is sarcasm, but corporations are not people, they are soulless, for-profit enterprises that will, for damn sure, abuse and exploit any one and any thing they can in the name of profit. They don’t get the defense of “victim blaming”.

If they open themselves up to malicious actors through improper security, or lawsuits due to improper practices, then that’s their own fault.

Thank you for this, your support really helped.

How have other transfems come out or explore their femininity more openly when they don’t look remotely feminine? I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine. I look a little more feminine than I did, but still not enough to be even close to looking natural or comfortable in feminine expression. It just… doesn’t look right. And that makes me feel weird which makes it look even worse.

I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man. And it’s starting to limit me in doing feminine things that I need to do to look more feminine so it’s circular, I’m too insecure to book a hair or nail appointment because I look like a man. I hate all of it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whataboutism

America is even worse than I thought if so! I pay a third of that for estrogen, finasteride, and progesterone! And that’s in the UK, which is its own special hellhole…

Definitely agree, it’s had a great start but needs a lot more content to be considered a full game and not just an entertaining side piece in the Deep Rock Galactic world.

New maps, new objectives, new monsters, new weapons, new powerups, new challenges, endless modes and leaderboards, might even want to think about a pvp mode where the enemy controls the bugs, choosing how and when to release them with cooldowns/abilities.

I assume you already played it but since it hasn’t explicitly been mentioned I definitely have to call out Celeste, basically one of the most iconic transfem games out there!

Terraria can be pretty comfy if you’re in the mood for it, and Clone Hero is the perfect rhythm game if you have Guitar Hero nostalgia!

I was gonna suggest this but I couldn’t remember the name! Kept getting Palworld in my search results -.-

Although tbf that might not be a terrible suggestion either.

Really well written, exactly how I felt, and still feel sometimes.

I do understand why this decision was taken, but I think this could become very messy without some explicit method of requesting (or rejecting) engagement. Lemmy is a very big place, and its unlikely even the most well-meaning individuals will check the sidebar for every single community they enter when they only want to contribute to a post. This is just exacerbated by the subjective, loosely defined requests for engagement as the system stands.

Even aside from outside users, I can imagine it creating issues when moderation is enforced. We’ve already had enough drama around this instance regarding the way we protect our users and defend our right to exist, the best thing we can do moving forward is make such protections as clear, unambiguous, and explicit as possible. For the safety of our transfem girlies and the health of our community discussions.

I would definitely vote for a set of community agreed tags in post titles to state engagement preferences, where any post without a tag should be assumed to encourage engagement from any reader.

Oh gosh… I didn’t see the question was for trans characters, I was thinking of lots of cis ladies!

• Inara Serra from Firefly (since it was mentioned)
• Margery Tyrell from Game of Thrones
• Kristin Ortega from Altered Carbon
• Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
• Elliot Reid from Scrubs
• Deanna Troi from Star Trek TNG
• Lucy Chen from The Rookie

I don’t have a problem I swear ;_;

“Is she an inspiration or do you just have a crush on her?”

Me: Yes.

I made the mistake of visiting the transfem fashion subreddit, and saw page after page super cute girls in pretty dresses, with flat tummies, and perfect makeup, and no awful body hair like mine. So I’m kinda struggling today.

I’ll settle for being a cute, comfy mess hehe~

I am super looking forward to corsetry though, but I am a bit worried about my tummy, I’m slowly starting to see the effects of extra exercise but I’d really appreciate any suggestions you might have to help there!