I have 3 kittens, 10 weeks old. They wake me up by having a WWE wrestling championship on top of me. Hitting with folding chairs and everything. At 6am.

“ooh hooman, are you awake? What a coincidence, we too! Well, since you’re awake anyway, you might as well give us foodz pleazzz”

This is how Chuck Norris lights up a cigarette

Stick looks similar. But stick feels less worthy.

Every movement with a gun sounds like there’s a loose screw in it (it always clicks). Also it usually has a clip of 300+ bullets.

Every mouse or keyboard input into a computer, every loading bar, every screen popping up makes screaching sounds. Except when having a failing DVD drive or broken hard disk I’ve never heard any computer making these sounds.

A secret tracking or listening device has a blinking red light and beeps.

Every car, always with airconditioning, drives with open windows because of the window reflections. Even during rain, extreme heat or highly contagious zombies trying to bite you through the open window.

“grisly results”. Are you sure? I think the pressure failure of the Titan submarine was closer to “grisly”. Transit tube failure scores lower on the pressure failure scale. /jk

I want one to get beer from the fridge to the couch. I could move the fridge next to the couch, but if a pneumatic system is an option, I assume I don’t have to explain which would be the better choice by a land slide. Cool beers on the couch, in the garden, in the bath tub, etc. I could fire my wife.

Of course I’m joking, I would never exchange my wife for a pneumatic tube system. I don’t have a wife.

If South Korea does this, he’ll tell his fat buddy Kim to send more shit balloons over the border.

My parents do this all the time. “Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful.” So apparently my aunt died. “Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn’t interest you”.

At the same time, they call me to tell me “So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he’s in a bad state. We though you’d want to know.” So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.

Yes, just like Americans they think it’s their country and the original inhabitants have no place in their country.

So if you have a fingerprint smart lock cops don’t need a warent to enter your house?

A phone is also property owned by you. Or by the company you work for, so it’s not even yours.

Damn, you beat me to it.

I’ve had it for about 8 years. Those years were a treat. “oh hi! We just created another product which would make your life easier and more safe. We just added it to your prescription for free. Have a nice day!” I started with free email, I started paying when they introduced vpn. They just keep on delivering, year after year, they never disappointed me with any decision they made. I just wish there were more companies like proton: creating the best product they can, for the good of the customer and for society.

There are other ad block options. And there is Firefox. I use Vivaldi browser, it has a built-in ad blocker, just like many other browsers. I just wish Vivaldi would be Firefox based.

If I had a kid, it would be against my wishes. Take it, the second one too if it would ever get there.

“to verify you are really watching, raise your right hand, look to your left, cut off your ear”

He said that, and other cases, confirmed suspicions that Assange was still linked to Wikileaks. The president also accused Assange of having installed forbidden “electronic and distortion equipment” and of accessing the embassy’s security files.

There was also the suspicion that Wikileaks was linked to an anonymous website that said the president’s brother had created an offshore company, and leaked material included private pictures of President Moreno and his family. Mr Moreno denies any wrongdoing.

Source

His dramatic expulsion from the embassy follows a year of ratcheting tension between Assange and his Ecuadorian hosts, culminating in WikiLeaks publicizing a leak of hundreds of thousands of hacked emails mysteriously stolen from the inboxes of Ecuador’s president and first lady.

Source

Kid or kidney, your choice

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Hahaha watching an Otomatone cover of Take On Me. Worth watching the ads!