Narrator: It did not in fact suck.

Tom was hangin out on yachts with all his bitches!

…and by that I mean he had a few dogs who happened to be female.

MaryKay is a BDSM enthusiast? Mary Kay sounds fun!

Don’t forget all the teenage girls saying “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”.

Back before that became a stereotype of immaturity. Pretty sure it became a stereotype because 80% of girls under the age of 22 had this on their profile. If comment upvotes had existed at the time, it would have had universal upvote support.

Then those girls grew up, and we all started mocking those types of phrases. Because everyone looked back and said “well that was stupid!”

I wish I could link you to my angelfire website. I mean, I can. It’s still there. It’s just when I was 14 I put my real name embedded in the website. Which wasn’t a big deal in 1998. I cannot imagine doing that today.

But I had a little java script thing that let you pick the background color. Default was blue, but there were like 6 buttons for different colors.

I randomly got the urge to see where my websites were. Turns out Angelfire is still up. Geocities and MySpace are both gone.

Shows not over. We still have 7 more songs in the audio player that automatically plays. Most had a visual player where you could pause, rewind, seek, ect.

A few made the player hidden, autoplay, and on repeat. Still want to hunt down those people from 20+ years ago who did this.

Did anyone here do this?

opens switchblade

Anyone?

But hey…it’s just a theory…A GAME THEORY!!!

Ah the internet. Where people will say some common knowledge, then someone else will come by and challenge that knowledge, thus pointing out that the common knowledge is actually wrong. So now I’m left to wonder “Wait, where did I even hear that from to begin with?”

And the answer is probably some guy on the internet. Just a statement that presents no reason to challenge it, so it becomes accepted as fact for decades. Until one night at 3am, you realize you can’t actually defend how you know it’s right, and maybe this other guy saying it’s wrong is right.

This is my life now. Random strangers fight on the internet, as I question reality.

I was born in the early 80s. I was just at the point of being a kid who can remember things around 1990. By 2000 I think I was 16. I was 2 weeks shy of being 18 when 9/11 happened.

So from my perspective the 90s are the only decade I can remember that didn’t suck, which makes it awesome!

Assuming I did take the time to flesh this out a bit more, who would I pitch it to? I’ve never done this before. What would that process look like?

Tell ya what. Go to your local dog park. Offer to clean up all the poop in little baggies, as long as you get to keep the poop.

Then come home with hundreds of baggies of dog poop, and set up a little lemonaid stand. Except instead of lemonaid, you can sell dog poop. $0.25 per baggie.

Report back how many you sold just because it exists for sale.

Of the two, I’d happily have turbo slut extrodinaire in my circle.

The other bag of unfuckable can go sky diving with a discount bin parachute.

The only part that makes your comparison absurd is the fact that there’s nothing special about 2006.

In your head, right now, imagine the 1950s. There’s a distinct style you’re seeing, isn’t there?

Now picture 2006. How is the image any different than today, besides the cars today being computers on wheels?

We would be glorifing 2006, if there was anything worthwhile about it.

To be fair, the 90s were awesome.

This whole century has sucked since 9/11

Yeah, but with it decompiled we can make every character oddjob size. With DK Head mode.

Have you seen the humans that live on this planet?

For humans too.

Despite being nailed to the cross, I just realized I’ve never thought of Jesus and bdsm in the same thought process until now.

Am I the only one who read the article, and has no idea what the hell they’re talking about?

It’s also a natural pest repellant. Fleas, rats, mice, bed bugs. They all hate the smell, and will avoid it.