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Cake day: April 14th, 2025

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  • I think pop culture and fandom gives celebrities too much power over public consciousness, both when they appear nice and when it’s been discovered that they’re awful. But, at the end of the day, they’re just regular humans that the rest of us treat as gods.

    I don’t know Neil Gaiman, Johnny Depp, or Amber Heard personally, so I don’t really have opinions or looked into those matters. It’s awful when people are abused, and I hope victims get the help that they need from people around them and within the legal system, which I know is imperfect. Personally, I’m not part of the jury or know any of these people, and I’m not in a position where I can help, so it’s a lot more mental bandwidth than I can personally handle. Sometimes I worry that celebrity drama, and the reports of violence that sometimes comes with that, is a form of entertainment for some people. But I also realize for other people, following drama is a way to confirm if justice has been served, or analyzing a victim’s lived experiences for self-protection against wolves in sheeps’ clothing, so I’m not judging anyone. What I’ll say is if someone in my life or who lives in my city needs help, I’m there for them.


  • My 15-year-old self probably wouldn’t recognize me, but would be okay with me being a woman. I would have transitioned earlier had I known it was possible, and I always had a “be true to who you are” mentality from the start.

    I got my dream job and met my soulmate later than I hoped, so I hope past me isn’t a perfectionist. The wait was worth it. I’m not living in my dream city, but where I ended up is very similar.

    Past me would be sad that I’m not in a band, and I hope she would understand that chronic acid reflux killed my dream of continuing as a concert saxophonist. I’ve started over and am learning piano instead. I’ll get there if she’ll be patient. The tradeoff is that I realized I can kind of sing, which would make her really happy…except I’m a baritone and not an alto. But that’s okay. It’s a step up.

    I think she’d be most glad that I faced my demons. I’m not sad all the time anymore. The social anxiety never totally went away, but I can carry a conversation with new people, and I can easily pick up a phone without having a panic attack. I got out of that awful relationship, learned to stand up for myself, and realized a relationship isn’t a requirement for happiness.








  • At the time it came out, true CRPG throwbacks were still a pretty rare sight, and the few that did come out after Baldur’s Gate 2 and Fallout had low production values, like Geneforge. Neverwinter Nights and to a greater extent Dragon Age were also big departures from the traditional CRPG mold.

    Getting to see a new CRPG with modern graphics and lots of voice acing, but still be isometric, was really exciting. I know it’s why I bought it.

    But I never finished it. The intro sequence at the farm with the killer rabbits was so unbalanced, the hardest part of the game, and poorly done. It was cool that you could have different characters do dialogue and be a hardass or a smartass or a kissass, they did all feel like different flavors if the same outcome. And the game was just too long, so after putting 40 hours into it and still not being close to done, I put the game down.

    Someday I’ll definitely try Wasteland 3, since HowLongToBeat says it’s shorter.


  • Best wishes! Everyone starts at this point, and things do get better. Here are my thoughts:

    1. First of all, I want to say being a lesbian isn’t about how you look. One of my good friends is a butch cis woman, and she gets mistaken for a man all the time. That being said, I understand exactly how you feel. I identified outwardly as nonbinary for a long time knowing full well I was a woman because I felt like I “didn’t deserve” to be a woman, much less a sapphic woman. Being on estrogen for a few years really helped with that, but the steps you make before that can go a long way too. Pre-HRT was a fantastic time for me to develop my voice, learn makeup, learn how to take care of long hair, and get laser hair removal. You list might be different.

    2. I’m not autistic, but I hope you get some more good answers in this post.

    3. I never really tried to suppress my femininity around parents while in the closet, but it might be a safety issue for you. I’m sorry if it is. But like JennyLaFae said, sometimes cis people can be really oblivious. Sometimes people would call me out for being too feminine, and I’d just roll with it and it wasn’t a big deal. Otherwise, do you have friends you can be your true self around?

    4. I didn’t intentionally mean for things to turn out this way, but when I met my now-long term girlfriend, she was living in a large, queer-friendly city 90 minutes away from where I was living. So when the time was right after a few years, I packed my bags and we moved in together. The bottom line is that I couldn’t have afforded to live comfortably in that city alone, so I found someone to live with. Which could be a partner or a roommate.

    5. I don’t know. I’m so sorry. It depends on what you’re diagnosed with. Specifically for gender dysphoria, my therapist told me that I’m my own worst critic, to avoid mirrors unless there’s something I specifically need to do, avoid comparing myself to other women (which for me involved quitting Instagram) and not to project how I perceive my appearance onto others. For instance, if I’m in public and feeling dysphoric, I tend to assume everyone’s looking at me and thinks I look gross. But is that what they really think? Most people are so wrapped up in their own things that they don’t even notice, or maybe they even think I look good.



  • Yesterday, at my job as a reporter. Some men, even though I tell them how the interview/quoting process works, will just assume I’m stupid for asking “groundwork” questions without realizing I’m doing that to get quotes, which I need in his words, not mine.

    I should also say my job is borderline public relations work, so I wasn’t asking probing, hardball gotcha questions either. The articles are essentially free advertising for companies.

    Sometimes, they’ll get that I understand what I’m asking about as the interview progresses, but this man continued to give me condescending, non-sentence answers while repeatedly questioning my knowledge on the subject. Which will just make it harder to grab good quotes when I write the article, because they all come with spice. I never have these problems when I interview women.






  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI waaaant
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    25 days ago

    My first dress ever was a pinafore dress. Would recommend, especially if it’s an A-line that flares out.

    That was cheap and from Amazon and I bought it years ago before the fastener broke, so I treated myself earlier this year and finally bought a nice new one from Son de Flor. It’s really well made and beautiful and, hopefully, it’ll outlive me.