afox

I was in a punk band when I was younger. We were mid set in a shitty bar. My amp started to spaz out. Like cutting in and out every few min. This old dude jumped on stage and kicked it really hard. Patted me on the back, handed me a shot, and jumped down (all mid song). Never had a problem with that amp again. Used it for years after. Old punk rocker magic. Nothing to laugh at.r

You know what’s up

I was visiting Ukraine for work for about a month. Me and my coworker found ourselves at a country bar… Bit weird. We were wasted. Dudes have ar 15s out front as bouncers. Too many drinks led to a five alarm fire in my bowels. The weird fish early on didn’t help I’m sure. Found a stall just in time. Unload. No toilet paper. I wiped with the local currency. I’m so ashamed to this day. This was around 2019. I’m a shit american.

I’m puting a hot poker in each of my eyes. Jesus.

Shit. That’s a big oops. Been a very long day.

Holding out for the Anne Frank Trapper Keeper phone.

Unholy Confessions In My Ass

Monday morning at a software company dude walks into the bathroom smelling like stale tequila. Sits on the toilet next to my stall. Grunts, moans, says exactly this. Proceeds to have explosive diarrhea and pukes on his shoes. It was 7am. What a start to the week. He just powered through. Ran his shoes under the sink and simply went to work. Something tells me this wasn’t his first rodeo.

Wonder if it’s a hunter gatherer type thing. Like F yeah get out there vs I just want to pick berries.

Started a punk band as a teen. Favorite song I wrote Called Lost Opposum. I feel this deeply.

Saddest day of my life not being able to get a hotdog without a card. Woman literally laughed in my face and said well if you’re too cheap… I wanted to go home and sic my wife on her. But I’m petty like that. A month a ago and I’m still so but hurt. Like why insult me and my finances?

https://images.app.goo.gl/abV6eShqNFoa7D727

That’s what the hidden fask is for. Grade A Cambodian breast milk.

Long Long Chopsticks 🎶🎵🎶

I was a manager. It made me a bastard. I went back to coding.

How much are the tickets to your show?

I love as a Sr Software engineer every company I’ve ever worked for goes tits up because of … WiFi. Lol like wut? Are we not the embodiment of tech? I have a nighthawk router and NEVER have wifi problems. My ISP is less sturdy than I am. And I’ve regularly had entire engineering teams connected to the same router with full speeds. I love you router.

My man!

They have their mother’s eyes. Aww