Thank you so much. This is really kind. I feel like I’m often meeting the wrong people. Emotionally unavailable, entitled, self-absorbed. I hope I can meet someone who fits your description and respects me for who I am, meets me halfway, and genuinely cares.

Thank you so much for your input! Unfortunately, people love to gossip in this org so it’d be high risk and I really find that internet communities give great objective insight. Your comment is an example of that! I needed to hear this: The two options are “fuck yes” or “fuck no”, and not something in between. Powerful. I am exhausted of the in-betweens, the ones who are lukewarm and give half effort and yet expect full effort in return. I’m not getting any younger, and I’m still single when everywhere on social media someone’s getting engaged or married. It gets really hard to stay optimistic and hopeful that something will come around. But I guess that’s what many others are experiencing too. Anyway, from one internet stranger to another (or who knows, some of us may have crossed paths without realizing), I’ll just keep looking for the “fuck yes” and not waste my time with another something in between which should immediately be recognized as a “fuck no”.

I appreciate it! I know you’re not dumb because you’ve shared so much wisdom in just a few comments. It’s helped me to feel better about it all

Thank you so much. Should I have a real talk with him? I always feel like I need closure and I’m not sure if he was sober enough to fully understand that I want to keep this private being that we’re in this professional organization and all my friends saw us chatting

Thank you so much. I agree but is it possible he was dreaming/sleeptalking and it wasn’t directed at me? Because he claims that he doesn’t remember anything after hitting the bed. Should I have a real talk with him? I’m not sure it registered deeply enough that I want to keep this private being that we’re in this professional organization

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, it really means a lot. I like the analogy very much and will remember that. It was the first time I heard this analogy and it is refreshing to think from new perspectives.

Thank you so much for taking the time to shed light onto a topic that can get dark. It really gives me hope. You seem like an incredibly wise and insightful person. I would’ve loved to be friends with you if we happened to initially connect in person but we can be online pals! I am glad to hear everything worked out for you and that you are happy in a strong relationship :)

Thank you so much for your input. So sorry to hear what you’ve had to go through! It really puts everything into perspective and I hope you are doing better each day. You seem like a very strong person who can hold his own without feeling the need for a partner the way I feel due to societal pressures, and I respect that.

A lot to think about and reflect on, I appreciate it. For the question in your comment, is it essentially asking if I would date someone who asked me to do long distance in the event the roles were reversed? Or was it more like would I proceed with the long distance relationship if I convinced myself to try for it and asked the other person if they wanted to do that with me?

Thank you for your advice :) I know you’re right, it’s often easier said than done but I’ll continue doing my best to trust the process. I’ll try to remind myself that it’ll be that much sweeter when the right person comes along at the right time, if that’s what is meant to happen

Thank you so much for the thoughtful insight! It’s funny in a not so funny way how growing up I was like of course I will eventually settle down, get married, and procreate. Probably meet a “one” by 22, 23 and marry a few years later. Yeah that sounds like a great plan. And then reality hit, including a pandemic. Long story short, I’m not sure if I want kids and can’t fathom all the work that comes with that but I’m also not closing the door on it.

8 billion humans yet the ones I’ve tried loving were either emotionally unavailable, looking for something different, or a narcissist (most recent and hurt the most even after all the other boys). It almost makes me wonder if I’m incompatible with a relationship.

I appreciate the safe space and validation to forget what I think I should do and prioritize what I want to do. I probably sound really dark about this topic but it helps having support from kind samaritans like you. We’ll see what happens. If you don’t mind me asking, did this all work out for you? Winding road or fairly easy?

I keep going back and forth unable to decide. It’s a valid point. I’m just so afraid to open up too much only to have to walk away or one of us not wanting to do long distance. Maybe I should try putting effort into my appearance and sitting alone at a cafe/bar because there is a fatigue with dating apps. I was dating December 2023-Feb 2024 using 1 app and was exhausted so if anything I don’t think that app is working out

Thank you so much! That’s exactly what I’m grappling with. If proactively going on dating apps takes so much energy and mindpower, maybe I should fully make the most of the free time now and see what could happen naturally in the new area. Because even though it’s busy there, it would also be easier to keep up to date with one another, so to speak. But then again, back to the limited time frame to even find that person because nothing is guaranteed. Oy, it’s tiring just thinking about it all. For context, I was dating December 2023-Feb 2024 using 1 app and was exhausted so if anything I don’t think that app is working out

I’m the same way unfortunately. I get emotionally attached and invested. I know many have said it is a good thing to be pure and trusting in romance, rather than jaded and give up, but I keep getting hurt by those who are not meant to be and feel like time goes by so fast. Sometimes I think it would be nice to not feel as much and be able to have a not so serious traditional long term relationship especially with these upcoming circumstances.

It is definitely possible and I have spent much less time on social media overall these recent years. Societal expectations/norm, family asking, my own internal thoughts contribute surely contribute too. How does one look past all of these reminders?