Not according to the IAU.

According to the IAU, “planets and dwarf planets are two distinct classes of objects” – in other words, “dwarf planets” are not planets.

Ceres was considered a planet in the first half of the 1800’s, along with a bunch of things in the asteroid belt. There was a point where there were 64 planets.

In the present state of knowledge astronomers give us the following list:
Sixty-four “primary planets” revolving round the Sun as our Earth does.
Twenty satellites, including our Moon.
Of the sixty-four primary planets fifty-six are asteroids, comparatively small bodies, all of which were discovered in this century, and fifty-two since the year 1844.]

No. I copied and pasted that. The definition says ‘the Sun’. There was a proposal to classify ‘exoplanets’ but the IAU never accepted it, and so those large masses orbiting other stars remain undefined.

Exoplanets are addressed in a 2003 position statement issued by a now-defunct IAU Working Group on Extrasolar Planets. However, this position statement was never proposed as an official IAU resolution and was never voted on by IAU members.

The stupidest consequence of the definition is not the classification of Pluto, but that there are only eight planets in the entire universe.

a planet is a celestial body that:

1. is in orbit around the Sun

I doubt that. The woman isn’t giving the oil to herself, but to Jesus. My guess is that it Jesus represents the church and the woman represents Christians, and the parable is meant to justify their growing need for money when Matthew was written.

Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very expensive perfume, and she poured it on His head as He was reclining at the table. But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, “Why this waste? For this perfume could have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why are you bothering the woman? For she has done a good deed for Me. For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me. For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her.”

–Matthew 26:6-13

I think Jesus would have been fine spending it on himself.

Clipping through things is real.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_tunnelling

… refuse to return escaped slaves? No, that’s not it.

Leap year creator

That’s Julius Caesar. Sort of…

where merchants were taking advantage of poor widows etc

Where are you getting that from? The bible says nothing of the sort. It says “And He entered the temple area and began to drive out those who were selling and buying on the temple grounds” Both selling and buying. Jesus cast out the poor old widows who just wanted to worship the way God told them to. The vendors were selling offerings that people could burn as part of their worship and animals to be sacrificed. They were providing goods that were necessary for worship at the temple. It is not at all clear what Jesus was complaining about.

If we take it literally, I see two options:

1. He did not like that there were burnt offerings and animal sacrifices, but Jesus alludes to the temple being a house of prayer, which is a reference to Isaiah 56:7 “their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be accepted upon my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all people.” The burnt offerings and animal sacrifices were intended by God.
2. He just didn’t like commerce within the temple. He complains about the temple being turned into a den of thieves, not about there being thieves at all. Which means as long as the den of thieves was outside the temple Jesus would have been fine with it.

As far as I see, neither of these justify assault.

wtf It’s really not the same.

Does “be kind to each other” include attacking them with a whip?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleansing_of_the_Temple

11 million in Canada. 72 million in DR Congo. It’s not even close.

I think that is DR Congo. More french speakers than France.

00:00:00 is the 1st second of the day. 23:59:59 is the 86400th second of the day. That’s 24 hours.

Greed and gluttony have been pervasive throughout history. I have no idea why you would think they were recent phenomena.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sundown_town

a 19 year old deputy?

Are you under the impression that deputy is a high rank in the sheriffs department? (It’s an entry level position) Or are you saying that someone should only become a cop after they have failed at other professions and are looking to start a new career?

It’s a New York thing

New York the state or NYC?

That is a belief that existed and maybe some still believe it, but I don’t think any large organizations would consider that canon. It’s generally considered a heresy, called Marcionism.