I am trying to get diagnosed as an adult and recently reached out to my parents for symptoms from when I was younger as those are necessary for adult diagnosis. My mom had pretty much the same reaction as you when I went over the symptoms. Lol ADHD is genetic.
Similar situation but I was at a work event sitting next to a colleague I didn’t know very well. We work in IT so our boss had placed a bunch of fidget toys at each table. After maybe 10 minutes of us being there, she grabbed one and said “here, you need this”.
It did actually help me that day and now I just carry one with me or else just stim with my jewelry, which I hadn’t noticed is something I do until that day.