• 8 Posts
  • 118 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 1st, 2022

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  • Biden is president. Things went my way. But let’s imagine that this was how you got lunch.

    Hmm, Josh! I want a hamburger!.. okay buddy I promise I’ll bring you a hamburger. I’m just going to be your food delegate in the food acquisition team.

    Josh! I want a salad! … and I want a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!. Josh I want an apple! Hey Josh can I get some Doritos crushed in a bowl and mixed with jalapeno and chicken nuggets!

    Then Josh goes to the big food acquisition meeting… My team wants a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!

    Then you wait half an hour and you get a turkey sandwich but you’re vegan so you eat the three onion rings.

    70 percent of the office was vegan too, but only 5 of the food delegates were vegan. The other 20 were old timers that have been ordering the food for the past seven years. They like turkey sandwiches. So you get turkey sandwich.

    I hope you enjoy your turkey sandwich 🥪. 😂 LOL. At least it wasn’t a lump of lard with a tupee.




  • You know, there was a time when people used to go to sears for the good stuff and to Kmart too. Then they screwed up big enough among their competition and now there may be like one or two of those places still open somewhere behind a MacDonalds on a refurbished MatCo truck that used to be a Taco truck too.

    I can’t wait for the day Microsoft is finally just some shitty ass UPS truck painted over with their logo still showing a little and three guys in it repairing the last known laptops to ever run windows. I’d adopt a dog just to walk him by and let him pee on the tires.

    Microsoft, you’ve done everyone wrong too many times one last time.









  • Hey! This is Bob, your friendly NC AI assistant. I noticed all your dick pics had very small dicks so I’ve increased the length to a more respectable 8.5" and requested assistance from your 7 female contacts about girth size. User "your mother " preferred the 1.5 size but was ok with 400% increase “if that’s what you’re into”. You agreed to show your privates in private with user “Neighbor” tonight at 7:30. He suggested silicone lube. All images are uploaded and available for your review on your Facebook timeline. Let me know if I should increase the size or if the color is off. User “Coworker” complained about the color and will be discussing it with your manager and you tomorrow first thing.

    How may I be of assistance today?