Fancy title for the developer that gets yelled at when the CI pipeline is broken. Also a good chance they are the one that broke it.

It’s like Wyle E Coyote finally gets an ACME rocket that’s fast enough to catch the road runner, only to go zooming by the roadrunner on an upward trajectory headed for the moon.

“Can we get a show show of hands just to confirm we’re ready to move forward?”

Me Everyone, who wasn’t listening and doesn’t have a clue what they were just talking about: ✋

I used to have a semi-outdoor cat. She could come and go from the basement through a cat door. That little shit knew where my bedroom was and every morning she would climb up on the shelf as high as possible and meow loudly as if to say, “Hey! Hey Dumbass! Are you gonna feed me or what!? Heeeeyyyy!”

You gotta remember that some of these people are the same ones who complained that their Southern Baptist pastors were preaching “liberal talking points” (aka, things Jesus said). If teachers actually started reading the Bible in class, these same people would probably start calling it “liberal propaganda” and trying to ban it.

I’m just saying, the irony is so thick that you’d need a rock drill and some dynamite to cut it in half.

Didn’t some cable companies get all butthurt that you could fast forward through the recorded commercials?

They could even provide an electronic box (for a nominal fee, or course) that shows me a menu of all the shows and movies that are available and what times they are going to play. That way I wouldn’t have to search through a bunch of streaming services. It could all just be in one place.

“Spend a dollar to save a dime.”

And the persistent tiredness.

Presbyterians don’t have canonized saints, the way Catholics do. But if they did, Fred Rogers would probably be at the top of the list.

If you had a 1974 Dodge Monaco, preferably the police cruiser version, you could jump that drawbridge with no problem.

What kind of bullshit numbers are these? I live Arkansas. If you make $40,928 and live here, you are poor. Not even close to “middle class.”

Yesterday, I asked it to help me create a DAX measure for an Excel pivot table. The answers it gave were completely wrong. Each time, I would tell it the error that Excel was displaying and it would respond with “Sorry about that. You can’t use that function there for [x] reasons.”

So it knows the reason why a combination of DAX functions won’t work but recommends them anyways. That’s real fucking useful.

Just an expensive timer.

There’s a reason Allstate is the most frequently sued auto insurance provider. They will give you the run around all day long until you lawyer up and then it’s, “Oh! Ha ha! Sowwy! We bunch of dum dums who no can read and no use kumputers good. We no know what happened! Here big check for you go away now.”

But for every person who lawyers up, there are probably 20 more who don’t. Fuck Allstate.

Door opener fluid. It’s a canister of fluid that you have to pump into the door to open it in an emergency. Then you get a replacement canister from the dealer for $150. I recently found out that that’s what passes for a “spare tire” anymore.

During WWII the United States government rounded up tens of thousands of people, including many US citizens, and put them in internment camps because they looked sort of similar to the people who bombed pearl harbor. Why? Because fear is a powerful drug and when people are afraid, logic tends to go out the window, if there was any logic to begin with. If you pay attention to conservative rhetoric, you’ll notice that much of it is intended to stoke fear, while inserting themselves as the solution. They do it because it works.

Way out in the Arkansas Delta, in a soybean field 50 miles from anywhere, there is a memorial where one of these internment camps stood. If you aren’t looking for it, you’d probably drive right by it unnoticed. All around the camp there are these little voice boxes that you push a button on and it explains what you’re looking at. The voice providing the narration is none other than George Takei who was held there with his family as a child. Spend a little time at a place like this and it will quickly disabuse you of the notion that America has always rejected fanaticism.

I read an interview in the Democrat-Gazette with the daughter of Ms. Taylor, one of the victims. There are no words to describe how awful it must be to have one of your friends or family members just minding their own business only to be shot to death while checking out at the grocery store.

Ms. Taylor’s daughter expressed frustrations that she wasn’t there because she thought she could have done something, implying that she would have shot the assailant. In her defense, the woman’s grieving and people who are in that state tend to think and say all kinds of stuff.

But here’s the thing, the “good guy with a gun” mantra is idealistic at best. Even if you are a “good guy” with a gun, odds are that by the time you can even respond, the “bad guy” has already killed someone. Not to mention that in that very panic filled moment, there’s a much higher chance that you might accidentally shoot another bystander.

“Good guy with a gun” is not a solution to “bad guy with a gun” because no amount of bullets fired by “good guys” will bring back the people who are already dead.

At a former job, there was one – and only one – lady in customer service who would actually reboot and do all the basic troubleshooting steps before calling IT. If we heard from her, we knew something was legitimately broken. Oddly enough, I’m married to her now. Best decision I ever made.

Just a matter of time before they add a higher deductible specifically for space junk. 😒