It sounds like you need to move on and forget the people who don’t care about you. Anyone that does care will maintain contact, and if that’s nobody then at least you get to start anew.

About 4 times in my life, I’ve made major changes and cut multiple people out of my life after deciding they were no longer good people &/or friends, and each aftermath was better than the years of trying to maintain “the good ol times”. One of those times left me completely alone… I mean literally zero friends for like a year. 5 years later I had a better group of friends than I’d ever had previously. That experience let me know I’d be fine on my own. I’m also fortunate to be an introvert and never really suffered depression or similar. The key to success is not dwelling on the loss and moving on with your life. YMMV.

Luckily I’ve never had to cut family off, but I’ve spent more time with the people I’ve cut off than a lot of family, so I wouldn’t think twice if I thought family were a negative influence in my life.

1. Your aunt may be a tween with her first phone. I lost brain cells reading that and I’m sorry you had to as well.

2. Are you saying 9 hours is a long time or a short time? For reference, when I almost lost my arm, family an hour away didn’t come visit. This was before the iPhone, so no FaceTime either. It was okay.

3. Live a life you can love. You only get 80-odd years on this planet without a lot of extra work, so be the happiest you that you can be.

the world isn’t ready for a woman president so I didn’t even vote.

Aren’t we like the only country that still hasn’t had a woman leading the nation? Maybe I’m not the best to get family advice from but my family hasn’t heard from me for almost 2 decades now and I think you’d be a lot happier if you could say the same.

Just throwing it out there that you can easily tell if she’s lying to you by looking up her public voting records.

It’ll say if she voted or not, and thus whether she’s being weird or outright untrustworthy.

You don’t seem to be getting anything positive out of interacting with your family, if you’re not financially dependent on them I would cut bait and live my best life. The text from your aunt is such passive aggressive bullshit, on her naughty list? Fuck outta here.

Not helpful but your aunt needs to take a grammar/English class.

Speaking as someone who cut their mother out of their life, I’d tell you to follow your heart.

Having once been in your situation, I have a feeling you already know what you want to do and you’re just looking for validation of that choice. And I will say you and your feelings are valid, because sometimes family just sucks - because family are still people and people suck. if you feel, for your own physical or mental health, that you need to cut her out of your life, do it. It’s your life, you get to choose who you associate with. You’re not obligated to hang out with assholes just because that’s where you spawned.

It will be hard. I’m not even going to lie to you there, but in the end you will be happier that you did. It was rough for me when I cut my mother out of my life, especially because I effectively made her homeless, but her toxicity and drama and danger she brought along was not worth subjecting my new family to.

Based on what you’ve shared, you e got plenty of reasons to cut her/them out of your life. Just make sure you have a good support network to fall back on if you do.

Don’t think that things like “rescinding your apology” are necessary - just be done. If you can support yourself, and have friends or other people you can emotionally rely on, I would just simply “stop” with your family. Why “rescind your apology”, that will just start another argument for the sake of trying to give yourself some sort of moral high ground, which it aounds like your mother will not acknowledge.

You don’t need to make a statement about it, you don’t need to announce to them some big decision, just move on. Live a happy life. Be you. Don’t include them in that process if they are not going to be a positive part of it.

The world isn’t ready for a woman president

…so I went back to the well and voted for a known rapist for president. Long history of that, so no worries!

I’m gay. My nephew knows this. We are the same generation so he is more like a little brother to me. When he told me he voted for Trump I was so angry. I have cut him off. He and I were just beginning to get closer these last couple of years. This election wasn’t about different fiscal priorities. It was about our very survival. I guess we couldn’t overcome the propaganda thrown at us. If you are not dependent on your family for anything, I would cut them off.

FUCK THAT. ditch them both. Chosen family wins.

As everyone has clearly stated, you need to watch out for your personal health and safety (mental and physical).

That said, I just want to highlight the fact that you probably shouldn’t broadcast your feelings on it too bluntly (even if you are in the right) and should consider if a more middle-ground approach would be better for you compared to making a large announcement and cutting people off. To be clear, this should be primally about you and your well-being, though.

In particular, as other have stated, if you’re cutting them off anyway, its probably worth considering just ghosting them. That way you can avoid fights and drama, as well as likely having less records of you being trans if you’re worried about that.

If you still care about your family a lot, as it sounds like you do, it may also be worth considering trying to work out a plan for low-contact rather than completely cutting them off. For example, if you communicate mostly through social media, you might disconnect or switch to alts they don’t know. If its primarily through sms but not phone, prehaps block or hide their sms messages but allow them to call you. Maybe you just need to stop visiting them or allowing visits. Your family doesn’t need to know this plan or the reason for it, and probably shouldn’t. For example, you could just brush it off as wanting to disconnect from social media/technology or being busy. If you want to go this route, figure you what works for you - don’t do it out of obligation, but because you genuinely want to keep the connection and are confident you can do so with without putting yourself in danger. Also, be willing to re-evaluate this later, if your relationship or need change.

In the same vein, you can also start looking at moving to safer regions. I understand this is a big commitment, so I don’t expect it to be a reasonable answer, esspecially in the short term, but if may be worth starting to look at whats involved. It might be complete overkill (I pray to God it is) but if you don’t have significant roots, moving further away may help distance yourself from them, while also providing more security.

Ultimately, I don’t think you’re in the wrong, if you feel the need to resort to anything more extreme for your own well-being, don’t hesitate. At the same time, it can be hard on you to lose family, reguardless of how terrible, abusive, or stupid they may be, which is why I’m bringing up some more middle-ground options. Consider your needs, and decide what the best way to achive that is - you don’t need to consider their reaction or feeling when trying to figure out how to keep yourself safe and healthy.

We can’t choose our blood, but we can choose our family. I’m sorry yours is being shitty to you.

If this is newish behavior, then you may want to consider distancing yourself from them, give them time to come to their senses.

If this is just more of the same-old, same-old from them, then it might be time to consider making your own family. By that I mean being selective about who you keep and who you cull.

You are not required to keep in contact with horrible people, just because you happen to be related. There are plenty of other people out there who are worthy of your time and respect.

Your mom and aunt don’t at all get that voting for someone that wants to harm you as much as possibly is extremely different from disagreements on tone or policy foreign and domestic. They at used to an easy world back when politics was largely insignificant to life changes. I’m facing ethnic clensing after Trump’s win. This isn’t a joke, he’s very open that he’s going to denaturalize Hispanics, you know, remove their legal status that can take up to 30 years to achieve, and deport them anyway. There’s a lot of families being torn apart by this election, my wife is furious with family that voted in favor of ethnicity clensing her spouse and kids, stopping women from having a right to medical treatment in exactly the high risk pregnancies she wouldn’t have survived if these laws were in place in that time. It’s sickening. They are voting for fascism, racism, sexism, and hate.

They don’t get it, they’ve never taken politics seriously. And they think nothing will happen to them because they’re white women who have never faced abuse they can’t get out of. If you need peace from them, do so. Protect yourself, and I hope you live in a blue state.

I think you did the right thing with the voicemail, leave it at that and move on. You can’t fix everyone. Surround yourself with people who are thoughtful and supportive, and be the same for them.

I do think a lot of the people who swung right were not trying to hurt anyone, they were misinformed on purpose by targeted propaganda. But again - you are unlikely to be able to get through to them. I stop helping people when it becomes obvious that the help is not helpful. They may come around, they may not, but you cannot personally do anything to make that happen.

And the nonsense about the world not being ready for a woman president is utter twaddle, there have been plenty of them, just not here. Fucking Margaret Thatcher was elected in 1979! Your aunt is off her rocker.