A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he’d like some blood. “Just hot water, please,” the vampire responds. The bartender raise an eyebrow, but goes to get the hot water. When he places the mug in front of the vampire, he says, “I thought you were a vampire. Why order hot water?” The vampire pulls a tampon out of his bag and says, “I’m having tea.”
Tampons have been used to manage menstruation for thousands of years. In the 1800s they first started trying to used them for bullet wounds. So they weren’t invented for bullet wounds.
Also, just to be clear, don’t stick a tampon in a bullet wound. They are not at all an effective dressing. In all cases you are far better off just holding a wad of gauze or similar over the wound and applying pressure. A tampon isn’t large enough and doesn’t go deep enough to do any good as packing.
I used to have nosebleeds as a kid. I sometimes used my mom’s tampons and her reaction was: “That’s actually a good idea.”
Tampons absorb, which isn’t great if you need to help clot your leaky flesh. It’s better than nothing, but gauze or tissue would be better.
Tampons absorb to grow thicker and then staunch the bleeding by blocking it. It’s literally called a tamponade.
Tamponade is what they drink in hell on hot days.
Is that like a bloody Mary?
I thought it was what vampires drank on a hot day.
A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he’d like some blood. “Just hot water, please,” the vampire responds. The bartender raise an eyebrow, but goes to get the hot water. When he places the mug in front of the vampire, he says, “I thought you were a vampire. Why order hot water?” The vampire pulls a tampon out of his bag and says, “I’m having tea.”
You’re welcome.
When you tell this joke in person, the crappy vampire accent is a must.
My mental voice for that is Vladislav from Among the Shadows
They were invented to plug bullet wounds in wartime after all, until nurses noticed they had other practical uses as well.
Don’t quote me on that though, I don’t remember where I read that.
Tampons have been used to manage menstruation for thousands of years. In the 1800s they first started trying to used them for bullet wounds. So they weren’t invented for bullet wounds.
Also, just to be clear, don’t stick a tampon in a bullet wound. They are not at all an effective dressing. In all cases you are far better off just holding a wad of gauze or similar over the wound and applying pressure. A tampon isn’t large enough and doesn’t go deep enough to do any good as packing.
Story of my life.
And if you squeeze it into a glass it’s called a kool-ade
What a horrible day to be able to read.