So, I’m not sure if this sounds strange, but my partner has, with increasing frequency, started talking and acting like she’s a kid–probably around 5.
She never did this when she first started dating. It wasn’t until about 6 months in that some early signs showed up, and now, a full year on, she’s in kid mode most of the time we’re together. Change of voice, intentionally mispronounced words, asking me for permission to do menial tasks, grabbing food off my fork as I’m trying to eat “because it tastes better when it comes from mine,” etc.
At first, I put it off as her being goofy, but as time went on, I’ve gotten more and more worn out with it. I feel like I’m taking on a parental role, rather than one of a romantic partner. It’s coloring my view of her and I don’t know what to do.
I’ve gently talked to her about it, mainly when she’s acting ‘normal’. Her explanations, when asked about her behavior are a mixture of “I’m not aware that I’ve been doing it” and “I enjoy it sometimes”.
That’s kind of a conflicting and hard to unpack explanation, you know? I don’t know if she’s dissociating or consciously doing it.
I love her so, so much, but I’m increasingly worried that the woman I started dating isn’t here most of the time.
How would you approach this? It’s clearly something intimate and sensitive to her, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Given that this started happening WELL into your relationship, I’d say it is tied to a comfort she feels with you.
Whether that comfort is allowing her to “open up” about childhood trauma or about a kink/fetish she has, I can’t say.
Talk to her about this more in depth, let her know you REALLY care, and if you need to help her get therapy for whatever she is going through.