I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this, I apologize if it isn’t.
Lately (as in a few years), I have been noticing a higher amount of “jokes” directed at trans (girls specially) in the line of “yes, a girl, but with an extra queue the laughs” and I don’t really know if I’m personally just too sensitive and tired of these things or if is a more generalized sentiment.
I mean, those are things you could say to your trans friend when you’re pretty close and both parts are on the same understanding that it’s a joke, but just watching some video that has nothing to do with the theme and randomly getting the insert slur here (in Spanish there are many to choose from) is surprisingly tiresome.
Of course the moment you say “that’s like a slur tbh” the “counter argument” is “it’s a joke” and then I don’t know what to say. Am I just too tired of the same “joke” or should I call it out? How do you see this “joke”, “trend”, whatever?
I think the answer is really simple and universal, and applies to all people (especially minorities), not just trans.
If the person who is being joked about, considers this “joke” offensive, then this joke is a slur. If you think that a joke you want to say might offend somebody, just dont say it.
Also, whether the joke will or will not offend somebody also depends on context. For example, some gay people may use homophobic jokes in a sarcastic way, which is okay if people are comfortable with it. This is different from same jokes being used in offensive way by people who clearly hate this group of people.