I fell for someone who lives in a different country. We met while he was passing through mine, and then he later changed some of his travel plans to come back and see me again.

We saw each other every single day for over a month, he met most of my friends, we went on trips together and overall he was very loving and did all kinds of things that made me feel like we had something that could last beyond a fling. He told me he would be back again.

His feelings changed not long after he went back home, and he only admitted it to me once I confronted him after noticing him become more and more distant over 2 months. He said he found it hard to stay emotionally invested in someone so far away.

I get that long distance is hard and that people’s feelings change. I just didn’t think he’d lose feelings for me so easily. It hurts more than ending a relationship that has slowly burned out over time, because I just can’t make sense of how quickly this happened. And I think a large part of why I got so attached is because I very rarely meet guys I’m genuinely interested in, let alone ones that treat me well.

Have any of you gone through something similar? If so, how did you cope with it? Was there anything that made it easier to accept, or do I just need to let time do its thing? I have a bunch of important things to finish this week and have already lost so much time crying lol.

  • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    It sounds like it was convenient for him at the time and he wasn’t serious. Because it sounds pretty intense for a month long relationship, I’m also assuming he love-bombed you. All of that Is devastating.

    I went through a very rough breakup about 5 years ago now. We were together 6, and I wasn’t really okay until about 3 years after.

    Everyone is different, but you’ll get better, it will just take some time. Try to remember and tell yourself often that you weren’t unworthy or anything, the guy just sounds emotionally immature and selfish. It felt like he was right for you at the time, but you seriously don’t want to be with someone who’s so careless with your feelings anyway.

    • prenupbutter@lemm.eeOP
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      1 year ago

      I feel so silly because a friend of mine showed concern early on, saying it’s easy for guys who are avoidant/emotionally unavailable to love-bomb you at the beginning and mean it, but then they get freaked out and run. I was like “yeah yeah sure” thinking it’d either not happen, or that I’d be able to handle it when it did. Clearly, I could not handle it haha.

      • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        There’s a reason love-boming works, and we’re all susceptible to it, so try not to beat yourself up for falling for him. We all want to be open to being loved, and people who love bomb tend to feel good when they’re doing it. They’re just able to detach easily, leaving you feeling confused and hurt after.

        I hope you do some things to show yourself love over the next few days. You deserve it.