Final Edit: I have decided to take a break from here for undecided time. I might come back when sure of myself. Limited activity at main instance.

Edit: I am replying, so please refer to them to get an idea of my worldview.

Context: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/650259 and these removed comments of mine, before Forte temp banned me

a screenshot of my comments

Before I start off, I want to tell that it is true that I am a cis het male human that holds monogamist views with the mildest of traditional takes. It is also true that despite never having had a real mother or a girlfriend in my life, I never became an incel. My mindset at the core is unapologetically survivalist, independent and masculine. I have also been chivalrous with women, and have been inclusive of the non binary communities. Some people will try to portray this as me never getting female love in life and all kinds of assumption based crap, which I can counter with years of selfless privacy community work.

I want to know what is so misogynistic about:

  • a woman having multiple boyfriends and being a social player, which is very common today in the dating scene
  • traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better
  • social code being different for men and women
  • women often dating for free food
  • Western feminism not being a true representation of feminism, and how much it currently harms mainly men, and creating polarisation between both sexes
  • psychology of dominance and submission in relationships factoring into the stability of any long term relationships, including marriage

Is it not deceitful to deny these patterns exist, and to just call someone misogynistic and shut down the conversation? Or have I misunderstood what Lemmygrad means for these kinds of conversations?

When did this place become so lib, that people were straight up told to “change your ways before you end up ruining a poor girl’s life”, or how “using ‘male’ and ‘female’ to refer to men and women as if they’re animals” is a terminology that radical feminists would otherwise get excused for? What are these assumed ideas I have that are so batshit crazy, compared to the kinds of values that hardcore masculinity gurus, Tate fans, incels/femcels hold? And what is the defined threshold expected for this place to accommodate people?

I hope I do not see a “404:site_ban” before I get to engage and get answers on this, and have a decent conversation. I am not threatening. I merely want a dialogue.

  • cfgaussian@lemmygrad.ml
    2·
    2 years ago

    I think you have formed a view/impression of dating and women that does not correspond to reality. Either your sample size of personal experiences is very small and skewed or else you have formed your views based on misinformation and myths that are spread in certain online spaces. I think you just need more real world experience and more contact to real people as you have formed a picture of an entire gender that is simply (at least where i live - i admit there could be cultural differences in other countries that i myself have not experienced) not accurate.

    Imo you are committing an idealist error. As a Marxist and thus a materialist you must investigate before speaking on a subject. From what you wrote i assume you are still quite young, and i think your views will change once you have had some actual experience (which you admit you lack) with relationships and people of the opposite gender. Until then try not to engage in so much stereotyping, you may not intend it that way but it comes off as quite rude. And listen to people here who have had a bit more life experience with or as women. Be a bit more humble and accept that you still have a lot to learn.