It has long been the case that American women are generally more liberal than American men. But among young Americans, this gender gap has widened into an enormous rift: According to recent Gallup polling, there is aĀ 30-point differencebetween the number of women age 18ā30 who self-identify as liberal and the number of men in that demographic who do the same.
Thatās largely because young women have gottenĀ muchĀ more liberal, while young men have stayed ideologically more consistentāor, according to other analyses, become more conservativeĀ and anti-feminist. (Of course, not every person identifies as a man or woman. But gender roles still play a big part in shaping our lives and politics, and in the context of this column, I am focusing mostly on the vastĀ majority of AmericansĀ who identify as one or the other.) Itās not happening just here either; the political divide between the sexes is a trend thatĀ researchers are observingĀ in some other countries too.
All Iām really asking for is for people to say anything at all besides just āmenā when making complaints about certain men. It doesnāt need to be precise, just clear enough that itās obvious that all men arenāt the target of criticism. I met the same standard Iām asking for, so I donāt thing Iām being hypocritical or overly reductive. I donāt think itās too much to ask for people to use a qualifier like āmanyā when complaining about a specific subset of men.
Iām not doing that. Iām making my point in a thread thatās specifically about why feminism is often seen in a bad light. Where else could I possibly find a more appropriate venue for such a criticism?
I never said it did. Iām saying it causes an emotional reaction that is extremely unhelpful for productive dialog.
I know better than to say ānot all menā. Youāre missing something critical: while I used myself as an example, my comment was not about me. Itās about all the men who see women talk that way and come away with the impression that feminism is hostile to them just because theyāre men. You donāt need to convince me of anything, and even if you did, convincing me would not solve the problem.
Right, but isnāt it a bit far fetched to be taken literally? That there are a significant amount of women who hate every man in their life?
If I said men love sports, would you demand me pretext that with ānot all menā?
That was in reference to the ānot all menā rhetoric.
Maybe that means you may be overreacting?
Youāre just validating their interpretation?
I think people whom think that way are just finding pedantic reasons to be upset at something they already have made opinions about.
Not trying to convince you of anything besides my original retort, communication about politics is hard. Just look at our conversation.
It might not be so hard if everything you said wasnāt dripping with condescension.
Lol, are you this overdramatic every time someone disagrees with you? I think you may be a bit sensitive when encountering criticisms, which may explain the whole taking the generalization of men personally.
See, there you go again.
Ahh yes, I forgot. Anything that runs counter to your expert opinion is condescending.
Sounds like a perfectly legitimate rebuttalā¦
Letās see, you said I was reductive, Iām overdramatic, Iām a misanthrope, Iām seeking absolution, Iām intentionally misinterpreting things, Iām pedantic, Iām constantly detailing conversations with women, Iām pretending to be an expertā¦
I was trying to have a conversation about the state of feminist discourse, and youāve tried to make it about me at every turn, to the point that youāre constantly making shit up about me. So now that I think about it, youāre worse than condescending. Youāre an asshole who responds to disagreement with insults and then you have the gall to accuse me of doing what youāve been doing the whole time. Big narcissist energy, bud.
Feel free to keep wasting your time disparaging me, since you seem to be enjoying it so much, but Iām done with this sad excuse for a conversation.
No, I said that the women who claim it is all menās fault were using reductive reasoning. I then said your generalization about them was utilizing similar reductive reasoning.
You said misogyny was different because it was internalized. My rebuttal was that misanthropy is also internalized.
I said people who share that that particular belief often intentionally misinterpret things. But thatās not exactly rare for people to believe in things that suit their interest.
Those I meant, but that was after you had your little fit.
You made it about you when you kept using anecdotal evidenceā¦ Iām not making this about you, you just keep interpreting it that way. Even though you claim these arenāt your beliefs, you keep saying Iām making things personal when Iām criticizing the belief.
Projection
You have a penchant for taking things wildly out of context and making the whole conversation about you.
Itās enough for me to know that the one who brought that rhetoric into a portion of my friend group, an acquaintance of mine (I wonāt call her a friend) actually does mean it, or at least says she does.
The fact that she got one of the kindest people I ever met to parrot that same misandrist rhetoric hurts.
It shifted me away from self-indentifying as feminist. Nowadays, I say Iām pro-gender-equality, and embrace the values of classic feminism if someone asks.
Right, but isnāt making a judgment call on feminism in general, based on a single anecdotal experience a bit dramatic?
I have tons of personal experience with racism, I donāt automatically associate all white people with the actions of a few radicals.
I think thatās really damaging to the social fabric of progressive politics. I donāt think that anyone who actually studies feminism holds real ill will to all men, itās just not cohesive with the ideas of mutual support feminism was founded upon.
Corrupting the social understanding of feminism has been the long term goal of conservative politics for decades. I donāt think there are many people who hold true to this ideology, I just think the ones who do are having their voices amplified by conservative media. And I think the point of this amplification is to interrupt class consciousness among young men, and to make them more sensitive to this messaging.
Iām not claiming everyone who has a reaction to the problematic generalization of political language is a woman hating conservative. I just think theyāre unwittingly amplifying a conservative campaign aimed against protecting womenās rights.
The anecdotal experiences with her (itās not often I have the luxury of a candid discussion with the type of person who says these things) made me view all the other cases of feminists generalizing about men in another light, and all the cases where someone pointing this out would be told that āNo, actually you are the problem becauseā¦ā.
Define āreal ill willā. Does it actually matter what they want if they are doing real harm? Misandry has become increasingly more common in the past decade, both online and irl, and in my experience, speaking up against it paints a huge target on your back.
This right here is part of the problem.
Iām trying to discuss a serious issue that is harming men, and after three paragraphs of downplaying it as not being a problem, you turn it around and write that the real problem is me bringing it up. Thatās fucked up.
Is that opinions not lacking a bit of nuance though? As Iāve said, Iāve experienced racial violence from white men, this doesnāt mean that all white men are racist, and it doesnāt mean that all racist people are violent.
I think that is dependent on your definition of āreal harmā, but as far as ill will I was originally thinking of people who actually blame every single man for all of lifeās difficulties.
How exactly do we define misandry, and how do we know itās increasingly more common? Could it just be more amplified because there is a political motivation for doing so? The people who tend to āspeak up against itā are people like Jordan Peterson and Tate who profit from radicalizing young men.
Right, but we havenāt established that itās actually happening with anything besides anecdotal evidence. So far my theory is just as valid as yours, except my theory has suspects with clear motive.
Iām not trying to be dismissive, but I just havenāt been presented any evidence not supplied by personal experience, so my rebuttals are going to seem personal. Iād much rather you present evidence from a third party so we may avoid this situation.
[Apologies for the delay in answering, irl busy]
Itās more akin to saying that there is a serious problem with racism & authoritarianism in republican ideology, and that I therefore cannot call myself a republican (for the record, I donāt agree with US republican ideology in general, but as an example). Your example would be equivalent to āI have experienced misandry from women, therefore all women are misandrists.ā
It is for similar reasons that I donāt relate with the MRA crowd - they bring up a lot of issues affecting men that need to be adressed (the ever-widening gender education gap being an obvious one), but there is also misogynist rhetoric mixed in.
Truthfully, I first encountered all this through /r/redpill back in the day, and as an inquisitive sort, I ended up reading a lot and deep-diving into statistics and studies. JBP in particular drew people in with pretty sharp grains of truth that (atleast at the time) were seldom discussed elsewhere in society, but nowadays twists the context to fit a more specific narrative (he was a lot more tolerable when he stuck to his own fields of expertise).
Anyway, I would note that your hypothesis doesnāt detract from what Iām saying. In fact I suspect that the most malicious and enraging actors on both ends of the spectrum are amplified, whether that be to farm clicks, ad revenue, simple rage bait effects or otherwise. Either way, it means that the harm that those malicious actors do is amplified also. What effects does a continuous stream of misandrist messages to boys and young men have on their psyches? People who havenāt lived with the misogynism that in the 1900s was widespread in the western world, who donāt see the supposed irony behind āmen badā messages? Would it not be a travesty of the ages if a billion young men grew up to think that society thinks they are the scum of the earth, and an enemy to be destroyed?
My conclusion here is that sexism and gender inequality goes both ways - itās not a zero sum game, and attempting to be kinder, more considerate, as well as calling out harmful rhetoric wherever we see it can go a long way to making our world just a smidge more pleasant. These are times of great change, and perhaps now more than ever, kids need compassion, guidance and understanding.
Links to third party sources, examples of misandry etc. Most of these are picked up from searches, but there tends to be stuff just floating around on social media, even here on lemmy (usually milder and a bit less cartoonishly over the top. Some of these are clearly ironic, but that doesnāt make it not misandry)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7343362/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauline_Harmange
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2014/03/a-twitter-hashtag-probably-doesnt-prove-feminists-want-to-kill-all-men/359493/
https://www.inc.com/suzanne-lucas/huffpost-editor-says-new-years-resolution-is-to-kill-all-men.html
https://www.salon.com/2013/10/27/fighting_sexism_with_cross_stitch_the_rise_of_misandry_crafts/
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4150880/Vlogger-Jenny-McDermott-tells-people-kill-men.html
https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt80hj2
https://www.yourtango.com/2021340310/misandry-and-modern-woman-how-hatred-can-heal-lifetime-misogyny
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/06/30/feminists-treat-men-badly-its-bad-for-feminism/
https://www.2gb.com/kill-all-men-controversial-feminist-booted-from-charity-fundraiser/
But this comes back to the very heart of our discussion. When I give an example that reflects a similar generality as your claim, your rebuttals are to provide a more exacting and nuanced claim.
This is what I was requesting when you hear about āall menā. That we be more specific with our criticism, and not lumping all feminist (all white men) with radical misandry (racist).
But is that actually a systemic problem? When there was an education gap in the opposing direction the cause was institutional, school simply did not accept women in certain programs. Are men not being allowed on colleges, or are they simply choosing not to attend?
JBP hasnāt made an actual insightful statement in his public career. He just relies on misrepresenting data and rhetoric, and ignoring any rebuttal he canāt dissuade. He has no field of expertise, he was a clinical psychologist whom specialized on addiction, and then got massively addicted to benzos. He then blamed his physicians for overprescrbing them, despite the fact that he fully understands the mechanism of addition. Heās a fraud, and always has been. Personal responsibility my ass.
You still havenāt given an example of actual systemic misandry though? My fear lies with statements like with your claim about the education gap. Thatās not systemic, itās still everyones personal choice to pursue higher education, men choosing not to is not an example of systemic abuse.
What happens when these groups who say itās a problem go to fix it? Are they going to try and motivate more men to go to school, or they going to take the easy and more traveled route and just limit the amount of women going to school?
Misogyny was not just āwomen badā, it was women have no rights. A woman could not have a bank account, an education, live by themselves, or really have an opinion not held by their husband.
When you compare the modern claims of misandry, they are nothing like the misogyny of the 20th century.
Lol, but no one really believes that except theennwho have been conned by people like JP or Tate. Young men are being told that their problems exist because women are woke, and are stealing their success from them. In reality the vast majority of everyoneās problems are a byproduct of macro economics, and the other underlying symptoms of globalized late stage capitalism.
Yes, but to what degree? You obviously think this is a global epidemic, as you previously quoted ābillions of young menā. How do you square that hole? America and the rest of the western world may have recently just started to see equality among the sexes, but this is not a reality in most of the world. In the majority of the global population women are still systemically oppressed.
These same countries like India are huge participants in the menās rights movement, and are a large audience for people like Tate and JP. How exactly are these men labeling themselves victims of systemic misandry when women in their country are basically property?
My point is that the amount of people who think theyāre being victimized doesnāt necessarily reflect the amount of actual victimization happening.
Again, this is not systemic abuse. This is a systemic health outcome failure, but this is more akin to not understanding now to treat aspects of a disease than it is a sign that government institution are preventing men from seeking mental healthcare, or only offering mental healthcare to women.
Againā¦ A single example of one woman hating men, and rightfully being criticized for it. If this is evidence of a greater problem, what do you suppose sub reddits like the black pill/red pill say about the growing problem of misogyny among young men?
I donāt think this article really helps your argument?
Again, a personās opinion thatās being criticized by a liberal news outlet. Not exactly a call to action, or indicative of a wider belief.
The same, a controversial blogger being highly criticized.
This is actually an article you should probably read. It does a decent job explaining why this minority of feminist choose to partake in their radical version feminism. I donāt think I agree with it, but it is informative.
Lol, canāt really believe this is on jstor. First of all, the book is written by a menās right activist. Secondly, did you actually read any of it? They were blaming things like Clarence Thomas sexually harassing Anita Ward on feminism.
Again, an anecdotal opinion of a blogger. For every one article like this, I can offer a couple dozen of post from reddit with a lot more hate.
Behind a paywall for me, but based on the summary it seems to be telling people to reject radical feminist who exclude men.
Again, an article criticizing it and detailing how they cancelled her event.
None of these were even close to examples of systemic abuse towards men. Most of them in fact were detailing how the vast majority of society has continued to reject the brand of feminism that you claim is so prevalent.
Again, Iām not claiming that misandry doesnāt exist. Iām just claiming that itās not nearly as organized or as widely accepted as misogyny. And I have no real data to suggest that systemic misandry has ever existed at least in America.
There is a cause and effect happening in this equation, and it is not balanced in favour for women. We can both agree historically that misogyny was well established as a systemic problem. In response to this feminism happened, in response to feminism a certain reactionary class of men attempted demonize feminism.
This continues into the age of the Internet, as women continue to obtain a sense of equality, men online become more radical. Places like 4chan and reddit start communities that revolve around dehumanizing women. Feminist in response weaponize misandry, which in turn is utilized to recruit more young men into the menās right movement.
Our modern situation did not happen in a vacuum, nor was the increase in misandry unprovoked. Misogyny is so prevalent online that people like yourself tend to forget it even exist. You froth at the mouth when one woman at the Huffington post makes a tweet saying ākill allā men, but donāt blink an eye over the thousands of men posting they should be able to rape any woman.