Won’t lie. Having a second was never something I expected to happen. I’m not sure either of us were ready for it and it’s absolutely gutted our sense of self, our relationship and our overall level of happiness.

That said we both absolutely love our two kids. We wouldn’t be without them and they make our lives so much more…full. It’s amazing to watch them play together, and to watch my eldest show genuine care for another human, and to watch my youngest learn and mimic his big sister.

It’s not been easy. I think we’d both admit that we’ve struggled with the transition from 1 to 2 in ways we never did form 0 to 1, and our youngest has been significantly more challenging than our eldest was, but even with that, he’s an absolute light in my world.

Father of two: 3 and 1y old. Loved both kids instantly. The second one didn’t take anything away from the love for my first. It felt more like my heart expanded to have enough space for both.

Our biggest issue is that we lack a good support system, both grandparents live too far away and are still working. The second child aggravated the issue, especially since she was very difficult in the newborn stage. By now we have mostly figured out how to take care of them regardless and it is very enjoyable having them both. Two kids are vastly more work than just one. When we had just the one, one of us could always take a break. As they become older, things get easier again, which is a great relief. Four weeks after the birth of child 2 I had a vasectomy done, we knew right away that we maxed out our capacity.

It took me a while to bond with our first kid, so I knew what to expect with our second. That made the start so much easier.

I feel like I’m looking in a mirror with both of them. One is normal me: awkward, bookish, and introverted. The other is energetic me: outgoing, confident, and athletic. They’re both smart. They can both be kind (they can also be dicks). They’re wonderful together. My regret is that we won’t have another.

You never know what the future holds, and who your kids will be. My guys have been great.

If you have another, I hope it works out well.

I felt a lot of guilt at first because I was so tired when I was pregnant and had very little energy to play with my toddler. When 2 was born I then felt so guilty that I couldn’t give her as much attention as I gave her sister, and that I could no longer give 1 as much attention as before. I didn’t attach as quickly to my second but I did eventually. Maybe a couple months or so? I feel the same about them both now. 2 starts school this year and I’m so sad I’m not going to have my little buddy home with me all day.

I’m exhausted but having two is nice. I really love watching and listening to them play together (although their fighting makes me want to stab myself in the ears). Helping them build a strong friendship with each other is really rewarding.

My second was a miracle. They both were, really. My ex had pretended for years to want a family. The first time, he got furious with me when I was 5 months along and chased me out of the house. We went to therapy and supposedly figured it out.

At one point in the years following, he got a vasectomy and never told me. We were trying to have a second for three months before he broke down sobbing, and I guessed what happened. More therapy, he got a reversal (his choice) and then promptly threatened to leave me multiple times. One time in the middle of this, I let him have sex with me and I got pregnant. Then he tried to throw me out of the house in front of my screaming toddler.

That time, I realized I was being abused and started divorce proceedings. That’s when it really got bad. I had intense stress, put on no weight until my 8th month, she was 10 days overdue and still a bit underweight.

But she is the light of my life. My oldest is extremely troubled, and if it weren’t for my second, I’d think I was a complete failure. Because of her, I know I’m just largely irrelevant. Kids come with their own personality. She is a rock, and without her my oldest wouldn’t cope nearly so well.

Every child is different. Just when you think you have no room in your life for another, your life expands and you know you’d have a huge hole without them. I’m so glad I didn’t stop with one, if for no other reason than they need each other.