When I talk to myself, sometimes I call myself my dead name, or my gender I don’t associate myself with. I am self-aware enough to know I’ve associated myself as male and [name] for thirty-seven years, but it annoys me I haven’t made that connection in my brain somewhere that yes, I’m a girl, my name is Eshe. I feel it in my soul, so why is my brain being such an ass?
Hi, Eshe. Trans’d at 36, 39 now, didn’t feel my “default” idea of self and gendering set until this past year roughly. Not sure if it was time or surgery that flipped that switch though.