It has long been the case that American women are generally more liberal than American men. But among young Americans, this gender gap has widened into an enormous rift: According to recent Gallup polling, there is aĀ 30-point differencebetween the number of women age 18ā€“30 who self-identify as liberal and the number of men in that demographic who do the same.

Thatā€™s largely because young women have gottenĀ muchĀ more liberal, while young men have stayed ideologically more consistentā€”or, according to other analyses, become more conservativeĀ and anti-feminist. (Of course, not every person identifies as a man or woman. But gender roles still play a big part in shaping our lives and politics, and in the context of this column, I am focusing mostly on the vastĀ majority of AmericansĀ who identify as one or the other.) Itā€™s not happening just here either; the political divide between the sexes is a trend thatĀ researchers are observingĀ in some other countries too.

  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    How hard is it for critics of toxic masculinity to just say what they actually mean instead of saying a bunch of blatantly sexist things things and then claiming they meant something else when theyā€™re called on it?

    Tbh, pretty difficult. At least for the vast majority of people. Putting together a comprehensive argument pertaining to socioeconomics or politics without it being full of internal contradictions is nearly impossible. Especially if your ideological framework isnā€™t accounting for things like class consciousness.

    For example, you are complaining about the reductive reasoning that leads to people make a bunch of sexist claims. However, you yourself utilized reductive thinking to come to that conclusion.

    How prevalent is this attitude among feminist? Is this a majority or minority opinion, and if it is a minority opinion, how impactful is it? If it is just a few people making a lot of noise, is it fair to really judge half the global population for it? It is essentially the same ā€œSchrodingerā€™s douchebagā€ you were speaking about.

    Women who do this need to fucking stop, because theyā€™re draining enthusiasm from their male allies and driving recruitment for their enemies.

    Is essentially the same as saying the men who are misogynist need to stop because they are draining enthusiasm from their female allies and driving recruitment for their enemies.

    None of these are actual solutions to problems, they donā€™t even really identify a problem, itā€™s just rhetoric.

    • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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      8 months ago

      However, you yourself utilized reductive thinking to come to that conclusion.

      How so? Iā€™m criticizing women who make blanket statements about men, and I was careful to make it clear that Iā€™m taking about that subset of women, not women in general.

      How prevalent is this attitude among feminist?

      Itā€™s prevalent enough that Iā€™ve encountered it numerous times in my IRL social groups. Itā€™s also prevalent enough that itā€™s a common complaint from men.

      Is essentially the same as saying the men who are misogynist need to stop because they are draining enthusiasm from their female allies and driving recruitment for their enemies.

      They do need to stop. But I didnā€™t think itā€™s an apples to apples comparison because misogyny is an internalized trait that goes way beyond rhetoric, and what Iā€™m criticizing is a certain brand of feminist rhetoric, not feminism per se.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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        8 months ago

        How so? Iā€™m criticizing women who make blanket statements about men, and I was careful to make it clear that Iā€™m taking about that subset of women, not women in general.

        Idk, you said" a lot of women" and ā€œI imagine a huge number of men feel much more insulted turn I doā€, not exactly specific language.

        prevalent enough that Iā€™ve encountered it numerous times in my IRL social groups. Itā€™s also prevalent enough that itā€™s a common complaint from men.

        Again, anecdotal evidence. I have not experienced this, but that doesnā€™t mean it doesnā€™t happen. Assuming that all societal discourse is reflection of your own experience is a product of reductive reasoning.

        They do need to stop.

        Right, but who are you making that request to? If a woman randomly yelled out to you that misogynist men needed to be cast out of society, what assumptions would you make? How different would it be if they just specified men, not misogynist men?

        My point is that actual productive discourse requires context, nuance, and patience. That even if you are talking to a person who doesnā€™t utilize as precise language as you would like, it doesnā€™t automatically mean that their point is moot. Nor does it really mean they were unintentionally making a claim.

        If someone is making a claim like ā€œmen evilā€ and there is surrounding context that should lead you to believe that this is not a literal statement, like them having a boyfriend or being married to a manā€¦isnā€™t saying ā€œnot all menā€ pedantic? Or even worse, could be interpreted as you purposely misinterpreting the intent of the statement?

        But I didnā€™t think itā€™s an apples to apples comparison because misogyny is an internalized trait that goes way beyond rhetoric

        Couldnā€™t your need for specified absolution be an example of internalized misanthropy? One could assume that people who do not self associate with accusations intended for misogynists, have no real need for this type of pedantic relief.

        Again, my whole point that political discourse is exceedingly hard. And itā€™s made even more difficult by someone forcing a pedantic dispute any time someone isnā€™t being specific enough for their taste.

        • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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          8 months ago

          All Iā€™m really asking for is for people to say anything at all besides just ā€œmenā€ when making complaints about certain men. It doesnā€™t need to be precise, just clear enough that itā€™s obvious that all men arenā€™t the target of criticism. I met the same standard Iā€™m asking for, so I donā€™t thing Iā€™m being hypocritical or overly reductive. I donā€™t think itā€™s too much to ask for people to use a qualifier like ā€œmanyā€ when complaining about a specific subset of men.

          And itā€™s made even more difficult by someone forcing a pedantic dispute any time someone isnā€™t being specific enough for their taste.

          Iā€™m not doing that. Iā€™m making my point in a thread thatā€™s specifically about why feminism is often seen in a bad light. Where else could I possibly find a more appropriate venue for such a criticism?

          That even if you are talking to a person who doesnā€™t utilize as precise language as you would like, it doesnā€™t automatically mean that their point is moot.

          I never said it did. Iā€™m saying it causes an emotional reaction that is extremely unhelpful for productive dialog.

          Or even worse, could be interpreted as you purposely misinterpreting the intent of the statement?

          I know better than to say ā€œnot all menā€. Youā€™re missing something critical: while I used myself as an example, my comment was not about me. Itā€™s about all the men who see women talk that way and come away with the impression that feminism is hostile to them just because theyā€™re men. You donā€™t need to convince me of anything, and even if you did, convincing me would not solve the problem.

          • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            All Iā€™m really asking for is for people to say anything at all besides just ā€œmenā€ when making complaints about certain men. It doesnā€™t need to be precise, just clear enough that itā€™s obvious that all men arenā€™t the target of criticism

            Right, but isnā€™t it a bit far fetched to be taken literally? That there are a significant amount of women who hate every man in their life?

            If I said men love sports, would you demand me pretext that with ā€œnot all menā€?

            Iā€™m not doing that. Iā€™m making my point in a thread thatā€™s specifically about why feminism is often seen in a bad light. Where else could I possibly find a more appropriate venue for such a criticism?

            That was in reference to the ā€œnot all menā€ rhetoric.

            Iā€™m saying it causes an emotional reaction that is extremely unhelpful for productive dialog.

            Maybe that means you may be overreacting?

            I know better than to say ā€œnot all menā€. Youā€™re missing something critical: while I used myself as an example, my comment was not about me.

            Youā€™re just validating their interpretation?

            Itā€™s about all the men who see women talk that way and come away with the impression that feminism is hostile to them just because theyā€™re men.

            I think people whom think that way are just finding pedantic reasons to be upset at something they already have made opinions about.

            You donā€™t need to convince me of anything, and even if you did, convincing me would not solve the problem.

            Not trying to convince you of anything besides my original retort, communication about politics is hard. Just look at our conversation.

            • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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              8 months ago

              communication about politics is hard. Just look at our conversation.

              It might not be so hard if everything you said wasnā€™t dripping with condescension.

              • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                8 months ago

                Lol, are you this overdramatic every time someone disagrees with you? I think you may be a bit sensitive when encountering criticisms, which may explain the whole taking the generalization of men personally.

            • Iceblade@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              Right, but isnā€™t it a bit far fetched to be taken literally? That there are a significant amount of women who hate every man in their life?

              Itā€™s enough for me to know that the one who brought that rhetoric into a portion of my friend group, an acquaintance of mine (I wonā€™t call her a friend) actually does mean it, or at least says she does.

              The fact that she got one of the kindest people I ever met to parrot that same misandrist rhetoric hurts.

              It shifted me away from self-indentifying as feminist. Nowadays, I say Iā€™m pro-gender-equality, and embrace the values of classic feminism if someone asks.

              • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                8 months ago

                Itā€™s enough for me to know that the one who brought that rhetoric into a portion of my friend group, an acquaintance of mine (I wonā€™t call her a friend) actually does mean it, or at least says she does.

                Right, but isnā€™t making a judgment call on feminism in general, based on a single anecdotal experience a bit dramatic?

                I have tons of personal experience with racism, I donā€™t automatically associate all white people with the actions of a few radicals.

                It shifted me away from self-indentifying as feminist. Nowadays, I say Iā€™m pro-gender-equality, and embrace the values of classic feminism if someone asks.

                I think thatā€™s really damaging to the social fabric of progressive politics. I donā€™t think that anyone who actually studies feminism holds real ill will to all men, itā€™s just not cohesive with the ideas of mutual support feminism was founded upon.

                Corrupting the social understanding of feminism has been the long term goal of conservative politics for decades. I donā€™t think there are many people who hold true to this ideology, I just think the ones who do are having their voices amplified by conservative media. And I think the point of this amplification is to interrupt class consciousness among young men, and to make them more sensitive to this messaging.

                Iā€™m not claiming everyone who has a reaction to the problematic generalization of political language is a woman hating conservative. I just think theyā€™re unwittingly amplifying a conservative campaign aimed against protecting womenā€™s rights.

                • Iceblade@lemmy.world
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                  8 months ago

                  Right, but isnā€™t making a judgment call on feminism in general, based on a single anecdotal experience a bit dramatic?

                  The anecdotal experiences with her (itā€™s not often I have the luxury of a candid discussion with the type of person who says these things) made me view all the other cases of feminists generalizing about men in another light, and all the cases where someone pointing this out would be told that ā€œNo, actually you are the problem becauseā€¦ā€.

                  I donā€™t think that anyone who actually studies feminism holds real ill will to all men, itā€™s just not cohesive with the ideas of mutual support feminism was founded upon.

                  Define ā€œreal ill willā€. Does it actually matter what they want if they are doing real harm? Misandry has become increasingly more common in the past decade, both online and irl, and in my experience, speaking up against it paints a huge target on your back.

                  I just think theyā€™re unwittingly amplifying a conservative campaignā€¦

                  This right here is part of the problem.

                  Iā€™m trying to discuss a serious issue that is harming men, and after three paragraphs of downplaying it as not being a problem, you turn it around and write that the real problem is me bringing it up. Thatā€™s fucked up.

                  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                    8 months ago

                    The anecdotal experiences with her (itā€™s not often I have the luxury of a candid discussion with the type of person who says these things) made me view all the other cases of feminists generalizing about men in another light, and all the cases where someone pointing this out would be told that ā€œNo, actually you are the problem becauseā€¦ā€.

                    Is that opinions not lacking a bit of nuance though? As Iā€™ve said, Iā€™ve experienced racial violence from white men, this doesnā€™t mean that all white men are racist, and it doesnā€™t mean that all racist people are violent.

                    Define ā€œreal ill willā€. Does it actually matter what they want if they are doing real harm?

                    I think that is dependent on your definition of ā€œreal harmā€, but as far as ill will I was originally thinking of people who actually blame every single man for all of lifeā€™s difficulties.

                    Misandry has become increasingly more common in the past decade, both online and irl, and in my experience, speaking up against it paints a huge target on your back.

                    How exactly do we define misandry, and how do we know itā€™s increasingly more common? Could it just be more amplified because there is a political motivation for doing so? The people who tend to ā€œspeak up against itā€ are people like Jordan Peterson and Tate who profit from radicalizing young men.

                    trying to discuss a serious issue that is harming men, and after three paragraphs of downplaying it as not being a problem, you turn it around and write that the real problem is me bringing it up. Thatā€™s fucked up.

                    Right, but we havenā€™t established that itā€™s actually happening with anything besides anecdotal evidence. So far my theory is just as valid as yours, except my theory has suspects with clear motive.

                    problem, you turn it around and write that the real problem is me bringing it up. Thatā€™s fucked up.

                    Iā€™m not trying to be dismissive, but I just havenā€™t been presented any evidence not supplied by personal experience, so my rebuttals are going to seem personal. Iā€™d much rather you present evidence from a third party so we may avoid this situation.