• CheesyGordita@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Mormons. They already have an army of ~70k extremely impressionable 18-20 year olds (missionaries) hopped up on dirty sodas and sexual repression ready to do whatever for their prophet in the name of god.

    Source: was Mormon, was missionary, still live in Utah. lol

      • CheesyGordita@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Soda with mix ins. Like flavor mix ins. So you go to a soda shop, ask for a Dr Pepper, then get like vanilla, coconut, or raspberry, etc mix ins. Kinda like an Italian soda. It’s huge here in utah.

          • CheesyGordita@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Nah, most of them are just modern soulless rectangle buildings with little or no interior decorations. I’ve only been inside one a few years back tho. However most people just use the drive through and line up like 50 cars deep and block traffic and access to other surrounding buildings like the lemmings they are, lol

            • verity_kindle@sh.itjust.worksM
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              4 months ago

              My house will be soulless without some schweet Amish benches on the porch. Money on them to win, I have no other choice. It’s a huge ass wraparound porch.

          • Lightor@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            I moved here from NY and it surprised me. I think it’s because they can’t have coffee and such, so they drink a ton of soda. Coffee bad, but a 44 oz Coke at 8am, totally fine.

            • figjam@midwest.social
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              4 months ago

              I had a mormon friend who was similar and it was just jarring the amount of diet mountain dew that he could put away.

          • skyspydude1@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Yes, but imagine they’re as prolific as Starbucks and with 5x the amount of sugar as a normal soda. Everyone thinks the south is the sugary drink capital of the US, with Coca-Cola being in Georgia and sweet tea being the official drink south of the Mason-Dixon, but compared to the shit that comes out of those dirty soda shops in Utah, they’re like LaCroix and plain black tea by comparison.

            Since they can’t do “hot drinks”, my coworkers there would typically drink 2-3 Monsters or 20oz bottles of Mountain Dew in a typical workday. It was absolutely insane to see.

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            Think of Sonic, but on steroids. There are chains of soda shops here in Utah who literally only sell soda, and they have every mixin you can think of. Mango puree? Yup. Gummy bears? You bet! Peeps? What do you think we are, amateurs??

            Come visit Utah, where everyone is speed-running diabetes. Why? Because the 64oz soda holders in our massive trucks need to be filled, and not with peasant sodas from Maverick or 7/11, but with real, artisan sodas with crazy mixins and whatnot.

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            Nobody ever said they couldn’t, the only proscription is on “hot drinks,” which has been interpreted as “coffee and tea.” The anti-caffeine people are the “spirit of the law” people, and for decades, Coke sold caffeine-free versions of their products to BYU (that ended relatively recently).

            • Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Huh, TIL. Had some classmates that are Mormon growing up and I guess they were from the spirit of the law group.