• kernelle@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    That’s why I always tell people to stop ‘looking’, that’s just desperate and off-putting. Friendships will turn into relationships if its meant to be.

        • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 month ago

          How so? I’m not “looking” at all. I’m just seeing my friends once in a while and occasionally making new friends. Outside of that I’m just focusing on my studies. I’ve stopped caring about dating for a long time. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wishing to meet someone.

      • kernelle@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        That’s the thing, it will work 100% guaranteed. As long as you’re open to new friendships. Will the first person fall in love with you? Probably not. The second? Also probably not. That’s the beauty of it, you’ll either have an SO or a ton of friends, and having a friend of the opposite gender is like wingman paradise.

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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          1 month ago

          No it won’t. I tried that for 30 years with no success.

          For some people, if you don’t put in effort you will not get any of those things.

          • kernelle@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            It will, maintaining friendships and especially new ones requires a lot of effort. I’m saying when you meet people you don’t think they’ll be your SO, but rather a new friend. That’s now an entirely different conversation, one which has a much more relaxed nature, increasing the chances of a potential relationship.

        • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 month ago

          Yeah well I already have a ton of friends. I just think you can’t claim it will work 100% for everyone, because you can’t prove that.

          • kernelle@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            You’re missing the point by like a mile, you have to be open to new ones. Relationships don’t just appear out of nowhere.

            • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 month ago

              I am. I’m just saying it’s not because you got lucky that this will work out for everyone, so it’s not 100%

              • kernelle@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                Oh no you’re mistaken, I got incredibly lucky. But after more than a decade I can confidently say that I’ve never seemed more desirable since I have nothing to prove. That confidence is what I’m talking about, I’ve seen many people try hard and fail. I’ve seen many more people try less and succeed.

    • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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      1 month ago

      Tina Belcher is my spiritual guide on this issue. Nothing wrong with a little erotic friend-fiction becoming reality.

      • kernelle@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Make the move! You’ll know and they’ll know when the moment is right, but don’t rush it!

        • AlolanYoda@mander.xyz
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          1 month ago

          I’m glad I’m not searching for romantic advice in this thread because if I were I’d be so confused.

          Should I search for a friendship instead of a relationship? Should I make a move? Should I make a move on my friends?!