• ssboomman@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    “I didn’t see it therefore it never existed” is the most insane fucking logic to me

    • Stovetop@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      And stupid when obviously the only question one would need to ask in this context is “are there trans people over 30?” And the answer is “absolutely fucking yes”

    • eric@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Agreed, yet it’s one of the most common logical fallacies.

  • Comment105@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Schools always did this.

    Never expelling the bullies, always expelling the kid that was bullied to their breaking point when they retaliated.

    I am convinced that the people who choose to be teachers (and especially principals) also tend to be the kind of people who like and relate to bullies.

    In general a lot of them seen to enjoy bullying as a method of “correcting” other people to align with your will. A method some of them seem to feel they are unjustly restrained from utilizing fully.

  • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    My dad’s best friend from high school transitioned…I can’t remember when I first met him (used to be “her”), but it had to be sometime in the late 90s/early 2000s, and I was just a teenager. He had fully transitioned by that point. I remember thinking that made sense. It was before the culture war types discovered trans people and decided they were the literal devils. To me it sounded simple–as a kid Tracy always felt like she was a boy. So when she could afford it, she got surgery to fix her body to match what her brain was, since that’s easier and less risky than changing your brain to match your body. It sounded to me like getting a prosthetic if you’re born without a limb or something. Or getting an amputation if you’re born with an extra limb. Like, you were born with something wrong with your body and you fixed it, not a big deal.

    It wasn’t until much much later that I realized how rare Tracy was for that time period…not just because the kind of biological mistake he fixed is statistically rare (which I understood as a kid), but because the vast, vast majority of people born that way hide it (which I did not understand). I also didn’t really have a concept of “gender” as a different thing than “sex” at that point…I don’t think the vocabulary for that really existed except maybe in a few academic circles. So to me, she was a she until she transitioned, then she became he. She had a problem, now he doesn’t.

    It also confused the fuck out of me when people started saying hateful shit about trans people. Like, no, I know a trans person, he’s cool as hell, we went kayaking together.

    • SuddenDownpour@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      So when she could afford it, she got surgery to fix her body to match what her brain was, since that’s easier and less risky than changing your brain to match your body.

      Just a small point. If we had any medical/scientifically validated method to “change her brain to match her body”, Conservatives would be railing non-stop to only allow that instead of allowing/promoting what we currently know as gender transition. It would still be wrong because it would literally be brainwashing.

  • mekromansah@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I was born in the early 90s and there was an AFAB person who very early on insisted they were actually a boy. I do remember thinking it was weird when I was a kid but the more they presented masculine the more it became “That’s just the way they are” and I accepted it.

    They were masculine presenting as early as 4th grade if I remember correctly. They were a beacon of light in high school for other queer people who hadn’t figured themselves out yet. And they were super nice and friendly so everyone liked them.

    They waited until our first year of college before asking us to refer them with he/him pronouns. It just made sense. I had a better understanding of gender and its spectrum by this point so it I remember thinking “finally.”

    Unfortunately he was in a car accident not too long after, and passed away. The world is sincerely lesser from his passing.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My daughter goes to school with a transboy. I suspected he was trans from his behavior, haircut, etc. the first time when he and my daughter were at a pool party together when they were 9 years old. I’m so glad we live in an era where it’s more comfortable (although there’s still a long way to go) for someone like him to be who they really are.

  • frazw@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So Heather thinks that no one talked about it because it simply hadn’t occurred to anyone rather than being afraid?

    Or is Heather saying she preferred it when they suffered in silence?

    • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      I think Heather is saying that it’s either a fad, or a deliberate corruption spread by Those People. Either way, it’s not real and trans people are either evil or stupid, and Life Was Better before we had this evil and/or stupidity in it.

  • Poot@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    I graduated in '89. Queer as a $3 bill always was, but you didn’t say that shit in high school back then. Just being gay was dangerous enough, can’t imagine how being trans would have gone over.

    If you did try to be who you were, you ended up ostracized at best, dead in a ditch at worst. I chose the lunch tray route, but outside of school…

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      '89 here as well. If people think gay folk have it bad now, friends and neighbors, I can tell stories.

      Gay rights jumped 900% in relatively few years. It’s why the conservatives are shitting themselves. Now they’re told they have to, at least, tolerate the people they used to hate. Can’t stomach it.

      • psud@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        In 1999 my boyfriend wouldn’t hold my hand or show any affection outside the house for fear. Gays now don’t even know what the pride rallies are for

  • Katana314@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’ve always wanted to tell this kind of story in fiction:

    Someone goes 90% of the path down a ‘Joker’ story - they’re mistreated and abandoned by society, unable to live, much less achieve their dreams, basically because of their lot in life. They’ve caused extreme, grievous harm that could genuinely be categorized as self-defense. Then, just as they’re planning some final, very climactic action with some strong weaponry to remove someone that makes them feel unsafe, someone DOES hear them out - and saves them from the path of becoming a full anti-hero, establishing in a large venue of society that every “heinous” action of his was a necessary act for human sanity, and could have been avoided by countless people in their path. Those who wronged him receive due punishment, and the cruelty he’s been exposed to is revealed to society at large.

    Granted, that kind of thing does sound like a hero power fantasy; but when 90% of the anime I see these days is trash isekai “I’m overpowered in this alternate world” type of stuff, it feels like a fantasy we want to have these days.

    • VaidenKelsier@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The real power fantasy is being able to help people. Because that’s the worst sort of helplessness, seeing bad shit happen and knowing deep in your heart that there’s very little you can do about it.

    • psud@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      A story where the protagonist is swayed from violence to gain revenge is desperately needed

      Media really promotes violence and revenge as proper things to do

  • GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Heather is, unfortunately, very typical. It didn’t happen in her world so therefore it wasn’t really a “thing”

    I’m always surprised at how people can’t seem to imagine a world that isn’t a mirror image of their reality.

  • Saneless@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Absolutely true. No one (well, very few, even the obvious ones) was even openly gay before the 2000s

    People who weren’t around as at least a teen before 2000s have no clue how silent anyone was on being gay. It just about never was discussed

    It was not a safe thing to admit. Being trans would be significantly worse for them I’m sure

    The original question is just groomer-accusing trash, probably by someone who indoctrinates children religiously and are scared another group “with an agenda” might get to them first

    • Hextic@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yep. Nobody was out in the 90s. None. The one goth kid that wore a tiny bit of eyeliner was a big fucking deal and he was straight (had a big tiddy goth gf).

      • Serinus@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You’re going too far. There were definitely plenty of kids out in the 90s. Not as many as today, but maybe one or two per school, depending on the school.

        • tryptaminev 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          Being “out” as in everyone knew it publicly, or just some rumors going on and maybe their closest friends actually being in on it?

          In my highschool of 600 people in the 2000s i am not aware if a single person that was officially out. Instead for most of the people you’d suspect it, it later became official.

  • I used to have a group of kids follow me home throwing rocks at me every day for like a week. No adult did anything about it. So eventually, I picked up a rock and threw it back and hitting one of them in the face.

    I was punished by the school, even though this didn’t even happen at school. I was punished by my parents. The bullies were not punished ever, and they never stopped.

  • mimichuu_@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Not being aware of something existing doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You are not the center of the world. Jesus christ.

  • Master@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Graduated near 2000 and yes I remember several and several more who waited until after they graduated to come out about it.

    I think most people who “dont remember” are people from groups that it wouldn’t be kosher to come out around. I also image racist people didn’t have a lot of nonwhite friend’s go figure.

  • VaidenKelsier@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yeah, this is pretty much it. Survival strategies for most schools are to lay low, don’t draw attention to yourself, and definitely don’t give the bullies easy ammunition.

    In my small town, a three-letter f word slur was employed regularly by pre-teens who had no understanding of what that word meant. You knew they learned it from their parents, because what fucking kid learns that kind of language in the 80s and 90s without the internet?

    Of course people didn’t hear about trans kids. Because if you did, they would have been bullied so much that they’d either leave, or just be a legendary target forever.

    I swear, people forget what it’s like to be in school with aloof administrative staff and shitty peers.