• I use to think I was cis and het too. Up until my late 20ā€™s. Turns out I was wrong on both. Still donā€™t think we should start assuming people who say they are cishet are just delusional though.

    • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      27 days ago

      I didnā€™t figure out I was nonbinary and asexual until my mid twenties. I had an entire gender crisis in high school too. But at the time I didnā€™t know either were things you could be so Iā€™d just concluded that I was cis, but that I was deeply uncomfortable with the expectations society puts on boys/men.

      Sexuality was an even wilder journey. Not only did I initially think I was heterosexual but I was outright homophobic. Turned out to be that I was mistaking being uncomfortable at overt sexual advances as dislike of gay people. I didnā€™t have the same problem with women because ā€œof course I like girls, I just havenā€™t found The Oneā„¢Ā©Ā® yetā€ lol. Then when I finally thought about it more I realized that I didnā€™t really feel any differently about men and women so I must be bi. Finally I eventually realized ā€œYeah dumbass, 0 = 0. Good job.ā€

      • When I was in high school, I was confused how other autistic people could be trans because I couldnā€™t understand how theyā€™d have a gender without buying into the socially constructed bit. So me considering myself technically cis-by-default was primarily because of not knowing agender was an option.

        In terms of sexuality, I preferred that some people thought I was gay and I had even considered I might be some sort of ace-spec, but didnā€™t realize horny ace was an option and probably mistook some envy and non-sexual attraction as sexual attraction.