I think itās just because my last long-time partner was a man, so a lot of my current friend-group has only ever known me in a homosexual relationship. Also, a lot of my friends are gay, so itās easier to be āone of the gays.ā Gonna be real weird to be called gay when Iām in a technically het relationship.
I donāt know if youāve experienced this (or are this age) but my kids are gen-Z, and they use āgayā and āqueerā (mostly) interchangeably. One of my kids who is gay constantly refers to me as āgayā because Iām bi. One of their friends who is a lesbian also uses gay, so itās been quite a learning experience for me.
Yeah, my friendgroup does the same. It doesnāt really bother me that much, just very silly to think about. Iād rather be included in the LGBT community than excluded, even if bi-erasure is a pretty serious issue. I used to really care about the meaning of words, but now that we live in a post-meaning world, I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so itās w/e.
Yeah Iāve been bi(sexual) since the 90ās when it was, uh, āfrowned uponā, but I came out as bi-romantic last year. The erasure is absolutely real and brutal. I was talking with a guy (who was gay) and when I said I was bi he sighed aloud and then just walked away. The vast majority of people are much better about it, though I have not had a great experience once I came out as enby. Random women have come up and āneggedā my hair/clothing/etc, men on the other hand get annoyed when they mistake me for a woman.
I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so itās w/e.
Iām not trying to tell you what to do, but you might want to say to them āhey so I love being included, and it feels somewhat erasing to beā¦ā. I find that the vast majority of the time that goes over well and people go with it.
Hereās the wildest part, I prefer women.
I think itās just because my last long-time partner was a man, so a lot of my current friend-group has only ever known me in a homosexual relationship. Also, a lot of my friends are gay, so itās easier to be āone of the gays.ā Gonna be real weird to be called gay when Iām in a technically het relationship.
I donāt know if youāve experienced this (or are this age) but my kids are gen-Z, and they use āgayā and āqueerā (mostly) interchangeably. One of my kids who is gay constantly refers to me as āgayā because Iām bi. One of their friends who is a lesbian also uses gay, so itās been quite a learning experience for me.
Yeah, my friendgroup does the same. It doesnāt really bother me that much, just very silly to think about. Iād rather be included in the LGBT community than excluded, even if bi-erasure is a pretty serious issue. I used to really care about the meaning of words, but now that we live in a post-meaning world, I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so itās w/e.
Yeah Iāve been bi(sexual) since the 90ās when it was, uh, āfrowned uponā, but I came out as bi-romantic last year. The erasure is absolutely real and brutal. I was talking with a guy (who was gay) and when I said I was bi he sighed aloud and then just walked away. The vast majority of people are much better about it, though I have not had a great experience once I came out as enby. Random women have come up and āneggedā my hair/clothing/etc, men on the other hand get annoyed when they mistake me for a woman.
Iām not trying to tell you what to do, but you might want to say to them āhey so I love being included, and it feels somewhat erasing to beā¦ā. I find that the vast majority of the time that goes over well and people go with it.