- cross-posted to:
- lemmydirectory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- cross-posted to:
- lemmydirectory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
You must log in or register to comment.
deleted by creator
As a parent, if my kid did that, I’d likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of “natural consequence” punishments.
It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.
This is my favorite answer. I’d argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it’s usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn’t get a face full of claws. I’ve gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn’t want to be touched. Boundaries are important.
Natural consequences doesn’t mean “law of the jungle” here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.
I tend to use a lot of “natural consequence parenting”. Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can’t then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it’s fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.
It’s a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there’s an “I told you so” before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.
I don’t have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant “no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward” and even if I didn’t understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I’ve got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward
That’s basically the goal I’m aiming for. It’s also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the “no”. If you’re using a hard no, then there is something they don’t yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.
The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.
As a native social media pedant, I’d just like to take a moment to split hairs and point out that’s the literal definition of that phrase.
With all that said, I’m glad you’ve taken that approach. They’re very lucky to have you. I wish I could’ve had more adults like that in my life as a child. Here’s to you and your contribution to supporting the next generation. May they pass on those values, too.
That’s why I clarified. There’s 2 ways to read the phrase, one a lot harsher than the other.
It seems to be working well. It also results in me being surprised a lot of the time. I’m ready to deal with a scuffed knee, or a bruised ego. Instead they either get back up and try again, or just pull it off. At that point I need to mentally correct for their new capabilities.
The key thing is, I’m not looking after a small pet, I’m training a future adult. They need to both instinctively understand how the world works, while packing as much awesomeness and magic into the formative years as possible. Letting them learn and practice is a big part of that.
It’s not really about the proportion. The rest you have right. Things (good or bad) may happen as a result of your behavior (good or bad). Those things are natural consequences. We talk about it a lot in the context of punishing behavior, but natural consequences can also reinforce behavior. Of course, if we design those consequences, they’re no longer natural.
I think it depends a bit on where the cat is. If my cat is in somebody’s yard and the owner does not like it, it’s perfectly fine to spray my cat with water. In fact I do the same to my neighbours cat to prevent cat fights. If my cat is on neutral territory, I would be more pissed.
Agreed, there are 1001 context points that could change things around, one way, or the other.
I like that approach. But when the parent only has their kid’s half of the story, it’s understandable why they would be pissed. I think most of us would be. Why did they do that to my kid? I’d want answers amd I wouldn’t be happy about it.
I suspect most kids who would throw water at a cat like that would not be very good liars about it. Also, adults tend not to dump water on kids for no reason. I would definitely take the time to pick apart what happened, before going full papa bear mode.
I might be pissed, but my instinct would be to find out who I should be pissed at first, before going on the war path.
Many people are not like that.
Unfortunately so. I know I’m slightly weirdly wired.
My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I’ll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.
I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.
If my kid did that, I’d let you splash them again.
Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I’d just say “well this is how the cat feels”
Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid’s an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.
My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.
This is what big comma and periods want you to believe. Don’t be a fool!
too many commas and periods to provide a believable refuttal
Too few periods indicate a pregnancy.
Ur mom is pregagagant.
…,clea.rly ,.com.,.,mas .,….a n .,.d ,p,e,r,i,o,d,s……,.,.,areimportant
Puntuation is such a waste of space and ink.
haha cool original Hawaiian news paper was like this post missionary and pre overthrow
please dont say we need to use correct grammer its unnecessary periods or commas in all of history have never really added anything to a sentence or body of text writing is about the soul not trying to control peoples formatting formatting its self is often overrated and not at all necessary inorder to discern what the meaning is of the writers passage
I think there are a few people who haven’t spotted that this is sarcasm. At least, I think it’s sarcasm.
That’s the disturbing part, people are so dumb that it’s often impossible to know if it’s sarcasm or stupidity. We’ve gotten to a point where it’s often “this is too dumb/weird/illogical to be sarcasm”.
it may be a fact of matter of opinion of weather or not a thing statment or writing is sarcasm actually matters beyond subjectively evaluation by the person who is interacted with the intended message philosophers amongus often state that the true meaning of communication is muddled to the point that an objective meaning is unrealizable and that the true nature of the message is as it appears to the bee holder
Let’s eat, Grandpa.
Let’s eat Grandpa.
Commas save lives, friend.
If it was funny to do it to the Cat… It was hilarious doing it to the kid.
Can confirm.
I have a robot that clears snow on my driveway (it’s a diy build,). One winter, we were having problems with a couple teenage boys chucking snowballs at cars.
Their dads conspired to teach them a lesson.
They recruited me and S5-SY (the robot, pronounced “Sassy”,).
So they played some mind games to get the kids to think it was their idea to record themselves-live- chucking snowballs at the “defenseless” robot.
In the video, the robot turned to face them, drove itself into the snow bank and turned on its sweeper to give them the worst white wash of their lives.
I’m sorry, you can’t just say “I built a robot that clears snow”, like it’s no big deal! Do you have more details? Also, please link the video of it blizzarding the teens!
I don’t have the video (and wouldn’t link other people’s kids anyhow.), sorry.
In any case, I’d drop a how-to, except that it’s actually rather kludgey. just getting a driveway dialed in took about two weeks. (movement is largely dead reckoning in similar manner to using an FDM printer in relative mode.)
her working-side is a snow sweeper brush- you can buy replacement brushes online and not the whole snow sweeper, for the record. the big drum-shaped brushes. she uses a hub-mounted motor to drive that and her two driving wheels. a couple car batteries and and her control box provide counterbalance and mass (for traction,) while her 3rd wheel is a caster wheel.
she uses an inductive charger in a cradle, with everything basically sealed in a water proof enclosure/chasis that was 3d printed.
there’s a base station that’s mounted high up under the garage’s eaves that has a camera deciding when it’s time to go out. (she struggles with heavy, wet, snow, but this gets compensated for by going out more often when it’s warmer. the base station also provides localization and object avoidance.
building was simple enough. I’ve a giant home-build 3d printer, PETG works, Polycarb is better if you can afford it. For sealing the enclosures, I made my own silicone rubber gaskets using silicone caulk and aquarium tubing (force the caulk into the tubing using the caulking gun. if you want it hollow, use an air compressor blower nozzle to blow out the tubing after it’s full, if you want it solid, don’t, but after it’s cured in the tubing, use the blower nozzle to get it out, either way.)
the other thing to consider is the sweeper arm. It can just be set rigidly for simplicity (and that’s a 100% valid and probably smart choice to make…) or if you add the ability to extend on both sides, you can give the brush a cant so it pushes the snow to one side or the other… reducing how many trails you leave.
Some flashy lights are important (and raised up so people can see them in cars!)
Oh. also. she hums like R2D2 when she’s working.
Time to splash the father
If my neighbor did ANYTHING to my pets, they’d be lucky to only get sprayed with water.
I could take shit from people to some extent but if it is my pets, I am putting a smile on that face
I personally can take all kinds of shit because I know my limits. As my pets sworn caretaker I have to do everything in my power to protect them from physical and mental stress, so i won’t let them take any abuse from anyone. Frankly my pets rank higher than a lot of humans in my life and are treated accordingly, I think a lot of people feel that way tbh.
Yeah but with a ten year old, talk to their parents first. You want to drench a child without their consent? Okay but they had better be in an environment that can explain to them that this is a tit for tat type thing. A ten year old doesn’t understand a lot of things and it’s not up to the child to perform what we expect them to. Do they need to be corrected, yes. Does doing it so callously benefit anyone? Only a bully. There’s a huge difference between constructive discipline and just straight up punishment. It takes an adult to know the difference.
At age ten I was coding in Assembly on my C64 and build radio controlled model airplanes without assistance from an adult… so I guess in this case the ten year old should have a pretty clear understanding of his action and the consequences. And to be honest: What did happen? He got wet. Booo-hoo what a tragedy! Would he have gotten a good spanking (would perhaps have happened when I was this age in the 80s), then perhaps I could slightly understand the outrage from his dad.
Ten-year-olds understand quite a lot of things. They don’t always think before they act, but they would absolutely understand this object lesson.
It’s water. It’s not harmful. Getting splashed with water is most ten-year-olds’ idea of a good time in most scenarios.
Is this the most constructive way to go about teaching a kid how to behave properly? No.
Is this going to scar the average kid for life? Also no.
talk to their parents first
This is key. It’s one thing to stop a child from harassing your pet. If you “teach them a lesson” after the fact without the parents’ permission, there are now two wrongs that need to be dealt with.
Idk,
Shouting “Hey, don’t do that” loud and clear may be more effective.
-
kid may have thought they where alone and will get jumped from getting caught.
-
May alert the parents their kid is up to mischief.
-
Doesn’t potentially start an escalation war with neighbors
-
Doesn’t carry the small risk of the child falling or otherwise getting hurt with you as an easy blame.
Think of it like this: Does the kid now understand the “evil” of their actions to try be better next time. Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
Then that’s a parental problem, not a problem caused by the action.
You’re right, but this is fuck around and find out territory. I would want the escalation to make it clear where I stand with my cat.
“Teach the bully to be more careful before they torment animals.”
-
We’ve a lot of cats coming through the garden. I wouldn’t mind if not for my dog, who does and goes insane when she spots a cat. So I’ve been thinking about getting a super soaker to chase them away. I think that’s pretty harmless, and perhaps they learn to skip our garden after a while… What do you lot think?
As a cat owner I approve using a a super soaker. I use a mini-soaker on my own cats in rare cases (being bengals they love water but despise being sprayed) - they probably catch on quickly and should bolt when they see you reaching for it soon.
That being said throwing a whole cup at a cat or making it soaking wet is not ok.
Thanks 🙂 I don’t intend to use one of those canon sized ones, I was thinking a mini like you said. Just a little squirt should do the trick 😇
Get a cat from your local shelter. Take them to the shelter to get spayed or neutered and adopted.
I don’t think kidnapping someone’s cat is going to solve anything
I think they taunt you by shitting in your flowerbeds while you’re not looking.
I know they do!
I know that’s how I taunt my neighbours.
Why not simply work on training your dog to be less reactive?
Working on that. Still would prefer cats to skip my garden though!
Hahah simply. I’ve only trained a handful of dogs, so professional dog trainers sound off here but there are dogs that are more or less untrainable. Sure difficult dogs can learn a few manors or tricks, but either because an abundance or lack of intelligence they’re not going to ever be a show dog. Depending on the dog maybe the best they get is just not as reactive instead.
Throwing water at each other, the way people used to throw eggs…
Don’t worry. Water prices will start going up too.
If someone intentionally caused harm to any of my cats, I live near a large national forest, and once you get a few hundred yards off a trail, no one is going to find a body.
Yep you harm a hair on my cats head, my vengeance will be swift and brutal
Speciesism
“Next time it won’t be water”.
Bullets?
Cat piss
There’s a difference between justice and revenge
Yep. There’s also a difference between “fuck around and find out” and a 1978 Ford Pinto, since we’re just stating obvious things here…
In this case, they go hand in hand
