What should I do if I don’t have anything to enjoy and I don’t have a bright future to work for/ wait it?
As an extra note, I started to hate dealing with humans and I don’t have any friends.
What should I do if I don’t have anything to enjoy and I don’t have a bright future to work for/ wait it?
As an extra note, I started to hate dealing with humans and I don’t have any friends.
See a professional, seriously, because this sounds like textbook early depression.
Sadly, I saw 3 different professionals, it does not work.
I was expecting that they won’t have a magic phrase to say and solve my issues before I go to them and I partially went due to the advice of the people around me.
After going and finding out myself, I can confirm that I was right.
You’re right, there is no magic ‘press button, receive well-adjusted and chemically balanced human being’ button, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying. Therapy is a process, especially with medication, psychoactive medication is notoriously fucky with a long adaptation phase and weird side effects, some of which stick around and some of which don’t after a few weeks. A couple weeks of therapy and medication isn’t going to cure anything, give them the time they need to work toward your goal, because the alternative is a deep, dark hole you don’t want to go down. Take it from someone who’s been there, and who is only here now, 30 years later, because someone convinced me to stick with the process.
Therapy takes work, my friend. Professionals can’t help you unless you want help and are willing to work toward change. If you’re expecting some external factor to “fix it for you,” you’re going to be disappointed
Therapy isn’t geared towards men who don’t know how to put their expressions into words. It’s geared towards women. Many professional therapists agree that Therapy is not suitable for all men. Therapy is W.E.I.R.D. Designed around White, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic. It’s only one tiny slice of the pie when it comes to human emotions, expression, and the science of psychology - which makes psychology – at best – a pseudoscience.
I would argue that therapy teaches everyone to deal with their emotions and since men have emotions too, therapy is for both. It’s just starting on the back foot with men because we’re taught depending to some extent on age and culture to push them down, bottle them up, and pretend they don’t exist. Some people are better or worse suited for therapy, it is more successful with some people than others, but as a man who would not be alive today if not for therapy, I openly scoff at the idea that therapy is not ‘geared toward men.’ Learning how to put your expressions and emotions into words is a big part of the process, because we think so much in language that having words for the things we feel is really important to recognizing, acknowledging, and addressing those feelings.
This is sexist af
If you think me pointing out that therapy isn’t designed around how men operate somehow makes ME sexist, you need to step back and evaluate yourself.
Why’d you respond to this guy and not me, who posted a long, professional response ten hours before him? Btw, I agree your take is sexist, because you’re basing your view on stereotypes of men and not on any evidence.
As a (male) psychotherapist, I really have to disagree with you on all counts. A common goal in psychotherapy is to learn how to recognize and describe your internal experience. Lots of people struggle with this, men and women. Every single person walks into therapy with a different set of circumstances and a different set of objectives, and I’ve never once heard a single psychotherapist say “therapy is not suitable for all men.” That doesn’t make sense.
Anecdotally, it is true that men seem less likely to approach therapy with willingness. This is a trend I’ve noticed, and is by no means a rule. What this demonstrates is a difference in socialization and acculturation between genders, so that men and women tend to “start” psychotherapy in different places in regards to social/emotional development. But psychotherapy as a discipline is absolutely not geared toward women over men.
Great answer, thank you.
Whether it’s through professionals IRL or strangers on the Internet, it’ll require effort on your part. You’re going to have to want to be an active participant and willing to work on yourself. It will be a process, not a single event.
What does “work on yourself” mean in this context?
Changing habits, thought patterns etc. A therapist can’t do that for you, that’s something you have to do yourself thus “work on yourself”
I am tired from people who talk in wide way that can be applied everywhere and would result in nothing.
To add to this, I was following therapist orders, it did nothing.
That is actually is kind of what I meant when I said that I assumed that they don’t have a magic pharse, meaning that they their orders and pills sadly did not work and I was right in the sense that they were unable to solve my issues as I expected.
For how long? Cause a couple weeks or whatever isn’t going to cut it, it’s a process that can take months or years.
I don’t think it’s a therapist’s job to fix your problems. It’s a therapist’s job to help you figure out how to fix your own problems. If you don’t what that, they will absolutely be useless.
Your therapist should give you tools to change these things that’s why I mentioned them. You have to use them and want to use them (changing your thought patterns). I see this all the time with people coming here who don’t know how to proceed in life anymore and they always dismiss everything that is said to them. You have to want to change, nobody is doing that for you, they can just give you the tools to do so but ultimately it’s up to you.
That is a logical expectation because that’s not what they do.
Ahh, so, you were expecting them to TRY to fix you with a magic phrase and when the magic phrase never came, you assumed that they had failed.
You got it all backwards. Those people don’t fix you. They teach you, they point you in the right direction, they tell you the things your friends won’t, they ask the questions you’ve been avoiding.
YOU fix YOU.
If the athlete doesn’t show up for the competition, they can’t blame the loss on bad coaching.
Also go to someone who prescribes meds, and take them.
That said, I feel you are right to hate the other humans. They are really, really stupid.
They kept making me try meds, they never work.
They take quite some time to get the full effect. Like it could be a couple of months before you start seeing improvement.
Therapy is a vehicle, and you are the driver. You’re only going to move forward if you drive.
That being said, finding a therapist you work well with is hard, and, in my experience, takes quite a few tries before finding someone with whom you are comfortable.
My suggestion is to find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and literally read this post to them. I’ve had luck using Alma to find a therapist (in the US).
I genuinely hope you are able to work through this - I’ve been there, as have many people. You can do this, and you’re not alone