I’ve heard it explained that “hey” used to be more of an urgent way to get someone’s attention, rather than a casual “hello” like it is now, so it sounded rude to some older folks.

  • Pickle_Jr@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 months ago

    When I was a waiter, there was no shortage of boomers getting genuinely upset with me saying “No problem” as a reply to “thanks”.

    • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I prefer to say no problem over you’re welcome cuz it always (to me) sounds sarcastic/disingenuous when I say you’re welcome

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        It’s like this:

        You have a boss. A wrinkled plus-sized brown business jacket of a man whose idea of “cutting costs” is turning the air conditioner off. If he caught on fire, you wouldn’t piss on him to put him out. How do you address him? “Good morning Mr. Perkins, how are you doing today?”

        You’ve got a war buddy. You met at boot camp, you served in the same company, he splinted your leg in the field, you’re his kids’ godfather. You’d kill and die for this man. How do you address him? “Ah god not this fucking asshole again.”

        Official formal polite language like “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” is the pair of nitrile gloves I put on to handle the really noxious shit that comes my way. “w’thanks man” and “no problem” means I’m willing to handle you with my bare skin.

      • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        “No problem” also carries the implication that the favor was taken and done without ill will, where “you’re welcome” carries one of superiority

        • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          I like to say no problemo. It suggests that the favour was done with a touch of Mexican

            • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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              11 months ago

              I thought it was every day life politeness, but I am not native. I would rather expect “the pleasure is all mine, sir” at a 3 Michelin stars restaurant.

              • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
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                11 months ago

                To me “you are welcome” comes off as taking credit for something minor and expected. No problem does the opposite. I prefer when people say no problem generally over you’re welcome. And that’s why it’s become more common in a day in age where people are expected to be less servile.

    • CaptFeather@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Ugggggh I went through this with my (boomer) boss for years until she finally accepted it lmao. Then it was, “WORRIES, CaptFeather! WORRIES!” as a joke every time I said it lol

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        11 months ago

        Absolutely. I could understand it if it was a formal dining place I suppose. But it was a fucking Applebee’s in a 20k population town with one other restaurant lmao

        • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Applebees is Sit down McDonalds with better food. If one of your seating option is at the fake wood bar its not fine dining.

          • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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            11 months ago

            A family member of mine briefly worked at Applebee’s. Literally everything is microwaved. I happened to get a Fettuccine Alfredo there and have one of the Marie Calendars frozen Fettuccine Alfredo meals (>$2 at the store) in the same week and realized once its plated you literally could not tell the two apart. Same quality, same quantity, but the store bought meal costs 1/5 the price and is somehow ready faster

    • uis@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Imagine repying “danke”, which is thanks in German

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        11 months ago

        “No problem” takes “You’re welcome” and implies that it was of no inconvenience to you either. But I understand that older generations find it important that service workers be most humbly at their service, and adhere to a strict social etiquette just short of “Yes, m’lord” and “Shall I suck upon your dick, sir?”

        “You’re welcome” is more appropriate in a professional setting, but if you’re getting your jimmies in a rustle over someone saying “No problem” to you instead, you’re a bit of an assfuck.

        • PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          If you are a service worker at a restaurant, then that is literally your job, to serve.

          I love it when I order a sandwich at my local banh mi place near my office and you can see the cashier literally eye roll every customer that orders. They can’t even look you in the eye…

          • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
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            11 months ago

            It’s literally meanings of words strung together being described.

            You are welcome = you are welcome to my servitude

            No problem = I don’t mind doing this thing for you

            Oh you. 🤦‍♀️

          • soupcat@sopuli.xyz
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            11 months ago

            I don’t think either phrase is impolite. Good manners are a made up thing. If someone said ‘thanks’ to me and I said ‘tiddle dee dee’ I’m not being rude, just a bit weird, nobody’s honour has been questioned, I haven’t said anything that could be taken as an offence.

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        11 months ago

        And why do people need to pander to you specifically? Cant people be themselves?

        Those are narcissistic traits.

        • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Who said anything about me, specifically? Saying “no problem” makes you sound insincere or that the task the customer asked you to do, was literally no problem and that’s the only reason you complied. There are all kinds of ways people can interpret that, but only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”.

          I’m not going to say anything if you say that, but don’t act surprised when older people aren’t as forgiving.

          • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”

            This is just wrong. Tone matters just as much with “you’re welcome” as it does with “no problem”. Language is fluid like that, and it’s completely arbitrary to elevate one of these expressions over the other when both are in common usage.

            Also, you’re deliberately misrepresenting what “no problem” means, in regards to “that’s the only reason you complied”. Nobody says it that way, and I don’t believe that you think they do.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              Using semantics to make your point, is lazy and misleading. Of course you could say “you’re welcome” in a tone that could be taken as rude, but that wasn’t the point. The point was showing the difference between the two phrases.

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  I don’t think you understand what that word means. If you’re being waited on and paying good money for it, you would prefer to hear your server say “you’re welcome” rather “no problem”.

                  If you’re socially inept, it’s not surprising if polite traditions are lost on you.

                  • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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                    11 months ago

                    I don’t give two flying fucks what the waiter says, bring me my food and don’t be an ass with your demeanor.

          • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            If someone says you’re welcome, you know they are a corporate drone and management wants them to say that to avoid certain people making a scene. Why’s it insincere to say no problem? In the same vein, they only said you’re welcome because they are complying too.

            There’s no issues with saying no problem unless you want there to be. Those are cool workplaces.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              I just pointed out the problem. That phrase can interpreted many ways. We are also not talking about office buildings, we are specifically talking about the hospitality industry, where the language you use makes a significant impact on the customer’s experience.

              • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                And so can you’re welcome. So why does it matter which phrase if both can be misconstrued?

                Language matters everywhere, who mentioned anything about an office building?

                And the only issue is you taking offense, there’s plenty of people who have no issues with no problem, but take offense from you’re welcome. Why is everything about you….?

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  I’m not taking offense, I’m just trying to help y’all understand why using the term “no problem “ versus “you’re welcome”, in a hospitality setting, is wrong. If you fail to understand why, that’s your problem.

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  Not hung up on anything, but I do acknowledge it’s a losing cause. To try and explain to socially inept people why certain terminology is frowned upon in certain settings, is like talking to a brick wall. As far as callous and bigoted, yup, sure am.

          • scottywh@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            The implication is that a problem was assumed until “no problem” was stated.

            “No problem” is absolutely low key rude.

            • mriormro@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              To me, ‘No problem’ is just short for something like “oh don’t worry about it; it was really no problem at all and I’m happy to help”.

              Colloquialisms are fun like that.

              • scottywh@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                The context in which the listener is expected to comprehend communication is important if the speaker hopes for the intended message to actually be communicated.

                If the speaker chooses to ignore how the listener is expected to perceive their communication then I’d say that actual communication was never truly their intent… seems more like linguistic masturbation to me.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              Which is fine if you’re just chatting amongst your friends. Unfortunately, that’s not what this is about.

          • idiomaddict@feddit.de
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            11 months ago

            They literally don’t (with the possible exception of onomatopoeic words), one of the defining factors of language is that it is arbitrary.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              It’s obviously arbitrary, given how we’re changing the meanings of words to fit the current narrative, but that doesn’t change anything.

              It kills me, that zoomers and young millennials think that it’s the older generation that’s the problem, rather than the generation complaining about how another generation reacts to certain words in certain atmospheres. If you can’t understand why they react that way, maybe you should be looking in the mirror instead of criticizing them.

          • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Your feelings are valid and real. But as a society, the new standard is that there’s no difference. If you decide to catch up, it will lead to much fewer hurt emotions.

              • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                Just because you’re confident in your feelings and opinion doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hear it. To never get external validation is a lonely horrible existence.

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  I crave validation from people I respect and love, not from strangers on the internet. Maybe I should’ve been clearer.